Life is stuck. I am paralyzed. I can't move forward.
The story
I’m done with my life. The academic session began in April, and my exams are scheduled for the end of January. Right now, August is already halfway over—it’s the 20th today—and I feel like I’ve fallen far behind. Most of my classmates are ahead of me, while I struggle to understand anything in class. It feels as if I’ve been dropped into a higher grade where I don’t belong. Everything seems beyond my grasp.
It stings to see my peers following along with ease while I just sit there, staring at the blackboard in confusion. I was never like this before. For the first time in my life, I feel lost in class. This is 10th grade, and I feel trapped, unable to move forward, constantly pulled away by distractions.
My laptop, which should be helping me study, has become my biggest enemy. Social media, random motivational YouTube videos, anime content, Instagram scrolling, venting to strangers online for attention, even sleeping after school—these habits are dragging me down. I thought my relationship with a classmate was a distraction too, so I distanced myself from her. But even after cutting off contact, nothing changed. I can’t blame her anymore—this is my own battle.
I barely scraped through the first unit tests with poor grades, cramming the night before exams. If I’m honest, I haven’t properly finished a single chapter to the point where I could confidently answer questions from it. I’m still procrastinating every day. On top of that, I struggle with the habit of watching porn, which only makes me feel weaker and more paralyzed.
I know what’s happening to me, but I don’t act on it. It feels like I’m waiting for some dramatic “rock bottom” moment—like in movies where the main character suddenly rises to the top after hitting their lowest point. But in real life, that moment never comes. Time just keeps slipping away.
Part of me dreams of becoming the top student in class, but right now it feels more like a fantasy than a real possibility. Even if I somehow worked hard, gave my all, and fought through every distraction, I know people wouldn’t see the effort behind it. They’d assume I succeeded easily, because I’ve always been considered a “good student.” That’s why I sometimes feel the need to tell my classmates about my struggles, as if my poor marks in the first unit test are proof of where I really stand.
But the truth is, I’m still waiting for something outside of me to change my situation, even though I know nothing magical is going to happen. My parents keep scolding me and comparing me to others, which only makes me feel worse. I want to rise to the top of the class, but right now, it feels impossible.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
mate, sounds like you're in a tough spot, but waiting for a "rock bottom" moment isn't it; life’s not a movie. procrastination is a beast, but you gotta face it head-on—no one's gonna do it for you. cutting off distractions like social media can really help. your parents’ pressure sounds intense, though you shouldn't let that define you. talking to a counselor might help bring clarity. remember, it's not about being the top student, but improving step by step;
dude, you’re seriously overplaying the whole "waiting for rock bottom" thing; that's just an excuse to avoid dealing with procrastination ;-)
life doesn’t come with a script or dramatic turnarounds; you’ve gotta make those happen. i mean, ditching social media and anime could be a good place to start. your laptop's not your enemy, it’s just a tool you’re misusing. ever heard the saying "you are your own worst enemy"? it totally applies here. your parents comparing you to others is unfortunate, but you're the one driving this bus, not them. aim to be a 'better you', not just top of the class; stop waiting for the "plot twist" and start writing your own story.
i get where you're coming from, but the whole "waiting for rock bottom" idea seems a bit off; life's not gonna hand you that dramatic moment on a silver platter. when I was in school, I felt overwhelmed too, like everyone else had it together and I was just stuck. in reality, a lot of people feel like that, but they just don't show it. it's great that you wanna improve, and you sound like you really care about your grades. maybe try breaking down your goals into smaller steps, like tackling one distraction at a time. it helped me to set mini-goals daily, and it made studying feel less like an impossible mountain. keep pushing, and try not to be so hard on yourself. you've got this, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
hey, honestly, I kinda feel like you're overthinking the "rock bottom" thing; life's not as dramatic as movies. procrastination is a real problem, but blaming distractions isn't completely fair 🤔; you've got to find a balance. cutting off from friends isn't always the fix. the term "self-discipline" comes to mind, and it's something you could work on. parents can be harsh, but maybe they just want the best for you, even if it doesn’t feel that way. aiming to be top of the class is cool, but remember the phrase, "slow and steady wins the race"—progress is still progress.