My mom tells everyone everything that I do
The story
So basically my mom tells literally every single person in my family (literally all) everything about me as ones mom does.
It always bothered me especially when it's someone private that I trusted to tell her and only her
Right now I am applying to different colleges and I told her (begged her) not to tell anyone about what I am applying to or whatever because the whole family pesters me about it and they get their hopes up really high and I am scared of disappointing them.
The first time I applied to a college she told everyone so I talked with her and explained why I didn't want her telling anybody and she apologized and said she wouldn't do it again.
This cycle happened about 3 times again until I finally broke down and started crying and telling to please not tell anyone and that it stresses me out, that time when I cried she ignored it like nothing even happened and it made me more upset but I kept it to myself.
Fast forward to now she did it again, I got really mad and upset I didn't say anything and just went to the bathroom to cry and collect myself.
now SHE is upset with me saying that the way I acted was disrespectful and dad took her side.
I feel so upset rn and have no one to talk to about this.
I really love my mom but this has always been an issue between us as I am a very private person and when she does this it makes me lose trust in her.
I don't know why her telling people about me upsets me SO MUCH but it does and I just wish she respected that
I'll try and make it up to her later because I can't sleep if she's upset with me
Sorry if this didn't make much sense English isn't my first language :/
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Points of view
Hey, I totally get where you're coming from! It can be super tough when it feels like your personal stuff isn't staying... well, personal 😂. I remember once sharing a secret with my best friend and she blurted it out to our entire squad. I was so annoyed! It's definitely important to set boundaries, even if they're hard for others to understand at first. Don't worry too much though—sometimes folks just need time to adjust. Maybe try talking to her again but also look into ways to deal with the family's questions in case she slips again? You got this! 😉
I completely understand your frustration. Privacy is important and it can be really hurtful when it's not respected, especially by someone close to you like your mom. My parents used to do something similar by sharing details about my academic progress without asking me first, which always made me anxious around family gatherings. It's challenging when you're trying to handle everyone's expectations while managing your own stress. Perhaps articulating how her actions impact you emotionally might help—sometimes people don't fully grasp the depth of our feelings until it's laid out clearly for them. It might be beneficial to find a way to gently express that maintaining this trust is crucial for both of you going forward.
it's truly disconcerting when personal boundaries are not upheld, especially by those closest to us who we expect to trust implicitly. your situation reflects a common familial challenge where expectations of openness clash with individual needs for privacy; navigating this dynamic can feel isolating and challenging. while articulating your feelings has been met with some resistance, it would be prudent to consider setting clearer boundaries perhaps involving specific details you deem sensitive and reiterate their importance empathetically yet firmly. understanding that your mom's actions might not come from a place of malice but perhaps habit or misunderstanding could slightly ease the emotional burden; seeking constructive ways to communicate these concerns without assigning blame might encourage more considerate behavior moving forward. nonetheless, it's crucial for your own well-being to maintain this trust in yourself despite any family tensions that may arise.
It is understandable that your mother's inclination to share personal information can be frustrating; nonetheless, it might be beneficial to consider establishing explicit boundaries with her, much like the well-known idiom "good fences make good neighbors," which suggests that clear boundaries can foster healthier relationships.
honestly, it's distressing when your autonomy is undermined by those whom you expect to be your confidants; one can't help but recall the old adage, "actions speak louder than words," and your mom's repeated breaches of trust seem to epitomize this sentiment 😒.
do you ever wonder why family members often feel entitled to share our personal information like it's their own?
I wholeheartedly empathize with your predicament; it's undeniably stressful when confidentiality is compromised. Why is it so hard for some people to understand boundaries??? My mother has a similar tendency, and I've found myself in comparable scenarios where I questioned trust; it's frustrating beyond belief!!!! Perhaps you could consider implementing an information embargo as a temporary strategy—keep sensitive matters on lockdown until you're ready to share them openly. Wishing you strength in reclaiming personal privacy while navigating these family dynamics.
It sounds like your situation is really tough, and I can see why you'd feel upset about it. While it's understandably frustrating when someone doesn't respect your privacy, particularly with something as significant as college applications, it might be worth considering why your mom feels the need to share so much. People sometimes over-share because they want to connect with others or even brag a little about their kids' achievements. Maybe having a conversation that highlights how her actions affect your mental health could shift her perspective. But remember, you have every right to keep certain things private if that's what helps you feel comfortable and secure.
I hear you, it's rough dealing with a family that's too nosy for their own good. Your mom's habit of sharing might be her way of expressing pride or trying to involve everyone, but it doesn't make it less frustrating. I once had this issue with a friend who couldn't keep things confidential; it took ages before we figured out some boundaries. Might there be something particular about college apps that makes her more eager to share? If she's proud of your potential schools, maybe reframing the conversation around how her support can best help you could bridge the gap a bit; just a thought!
i feel you. it's really tough when it seems like the people we love can't help but spill our beans every chance they get; i've been there too, and it ain't fun. remember though, even if it feels like she doesn't get how important your privacy is to you right now, patience can sometimes pave the way for understanding. maybe consider finding a neutral space or moment to talk things out calmly—sometimes that helps shift the mood from defensive to constructive. anyway, hang in there and remember you're not alone in this struggle 🥺
Your mother's lack of understanding and respect for your privacy is frankly exasperating; she doesn't seem to grasp the impact her actions have on you. It appears this constant breach of trust stems from a habitual disregard for boundaries rather than malicious intent, an affliction to which many parents are susceptible. To prevent further deterioration of this relationship, you might consider clearly articulating the emotional distress her behavior causes and implement more stringent control over what information you choose to share with her in the future, establishing a framework that protects your personal boundaries while maintaining familial harmony.
I totally get why you're feeling frustrated. It's like your privacy just isn't being respected, which is a big deal! Have you ever thought about writing down how this makes you feel and giving it to her? Sometimes seeing things in writing can make the impact more real for someone else. It's hard when family dynamics throw us off balance, but perhaps approaching it as a mutual problem to solve might bring you both closer—kind of like transforming the situation into an opportunity for building stronger trust. Don't forget to also find those moments of self-care amid the chaos; they can be surprisingly powerful for maintaining your own peace. 🌱
It's tough that your mom keeps sharing your news when you've clearly asked her not to. From what you've said, it seems like she might just be super excited and wants to share your accomplishments with others; it's understandable but still not considerate of your feelings. Being private is totally valid, and it's okay to want control over who knows your stuff; maybe trying a different approach could help?? like setting specific topics that are off-limits for her to share while letting her know there's other news she can talk about freely. This way, you both might find some middle ground without feeling so upset.
Man, that's tough. It's like your mom just can't help herself and it sucks that she doesn't see the damage it's doing to your trust. I totally get why it upsets you; we all need some things to stay private or else we feel exposed and vulnerable. You deserve boundaries that are respected without question; maybe having a heart-to-heart with her could nudge her in the right direction, but honestly, it's on her to realize how her actions impact you. Stay strong and don't forget you're not alone in wanting things kept under wraps 🤞.
It is indeed challenging when one's privacy isn't respected, but perhaps your mother perceives sharing as a way of showing love and concern, albeit misguidedly; while it might seem daunting now, addressing the issue with empathy and establishing clear boundaries could gradually foster mutual understanding and trust.