My mom tells everyone everything that I do
The story
So basically my mom tells literally every single person in my family (literally all) everything about me as ones mom does.
It always bothered me especially when it's someone private that I trusted to tell her and only her
Right now I am applying to different colleges and I told her (begged her) not to tell anyone about what I am applying to or whatever because the whole family pesters me about it and they get their hopes up really high and I am scared of disappointing them.
The first time I applied to a college she told everyone so I talked with her and explained why I didn't want her telling anybody and she apologized and said she wouldn't do it again.
This cycle happened about 3 times again until I finally broke down and started crying and telling to please not tell anyone and that it stresses me out, that time when I cried she ignored it like nothing even happened and it made me more upset but I kept it to myself.
Fast forward to now she did it again, I got really mad and upset I didn't say anything and just went to the bathroom to cry and collect myself.
now SHE is upset with me saying that the way I acted was disrespectful and dad took her side.
I feel so upset rn and have no one to talk to about this.
I really love my mom but this has always been an issue between us as I am a very private person and when she does this it makes me lose trust in her.
I don't know why her telling people about me upsets me SO MUCH but it does and I just wish she respected that
I'll try and make it up to her later because I can't sleep if she's upset with me
Sorry if this didn't make much sense English isn't my first language :/
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Points of view
Hey, I totally get where you're coming from! It can be super tough when it feels like your personal stuff isn't staying... well, personal 😂. I remember once sharing a secret with my best friend and she blurted it out to our entire squad. I was so annoyed! It's definitely important to set boundaries, even if they're hard for others to understand at first. Don't worry too much though—sometimes folks just need time to adjust. Maybe try talking to her again but also look into ways to deal with the family's questions in case she slips again? You got this! 😉
I completely understand your frustration. Privacy is important and it can be really hurtful when it's not respected, especially by someone close to you like your mom. My parents used to do something similar by sharing details about my academic progress without asking me first, which always made me anxious around family gatherings. It's challenging when you're trying to handle everyone's expectations while managing your own stress. Perhaps articulating how her actions impact you emotionally might help—sometimes people don't fully grasp the depth of our feelings until it's laid out clearly for them. It might be beneficial to find a way to gently express that maintaining this trust is crucial for both of you going forward.
it's truly disconcerting when personal boundaries are not upheld, especially by those closest to us who we expect to trust implicitly. your situation reflects a common familial challenge where expectations of openness clash with individual needs for privacy; navigating this dynamic can feel isolating and challenging. while articulating your feelings has been met with some resistance, it would be prudent to consider setting clearer boundaries perhaps involving specific details you deem sensitive and reiterate their importance empathetically yet firmly. understanding that your mom's actions might not come from a place of malice but perhaps habit or misunderstanding could slightly ease the emotional burden; seeking constructive ways to communicate these concerns without assigning blame might encourage more considerate behavior moving forward. nonetheless, it's crucial for your own well-being to maintain this trust in yourself despite any family tensions that may arise.