It's more of a religious conflict within myself.

I grew up Jewish... But not Jewish. My adopted family is Jewish. But I never felt Jewish. My mom was Jewish, but we only celebrated... Loosely, Hanukkah until I turned 12. Then I asked to stop cause buying and receiving gifts was too forking stressful! Also, birthdays and any gift-giving days stopped, but that's another topic for another day.

Anyway, I like to think I'm interested in all religions and no religions at the same time. It's hard to put my finger on it. I live with my cousins now, after my mom's passing. They're more Jewish than any Jewish people I lived near in my old life/old neighborhood.

I didn't know any holidays except for Hanukkah... And honestly... I still only know Hanukkah, cause there's many Jewish holidays that confuse me. All I remember is that Jewish Challah bread is so forking tasty! Cinnamon and honey challah bread is SO FORKING YUMMY🤤! And I usually HATE cinnamon... But in challah bread... Give me all of it😋!! I also like the apples and honey holiday... Cause there's apples and honey🍎🍯! I don't really like Jewish pastries... No offense to any Jewish people... Jam ain't my thing🫠.

Also, my cousin says that one of the differences between Judaism and Christianity is that Jewish people cannot be forgiven from sinning by only God. If a Jewish person sins to God, they are forgiven, cause God is understanding. But if a Jewish person sins against another fellow human, God only forgives if the person you sinned to has forgiven you. And therefore, there is no way out of saying, "I have sinned, I have shared my sin with God, he shall forgive me" even if the original sin was cause by the sinner who has done wrong by his fellow man/woman/person.

But based on Christianity, I like the easiness that it feels to feel somewhat absolved of sins based on the fact that one shares their sins with God and they themselves feel sorry. But I still like the fact that there's more restrictions on Judaism, cause it puts more responsibility on humans rather than having God shoulder everything... God's got a lot on his hypothetical shoulders man!

Also, is God in the form of a man still? Or is God an entity? Energy? Or simply a safe feeling? That guy feeling saying... Don't go into that "haunted house" or don't drink spoiled milk, even if you think it smells fine.

Some people maybe believe in multiple Gods. I also like to believe in such things, as well as the singl God that most people believe in. It also makes sense to think that God's can be it's own entity, like the clean stream, or a mighty tree that's stood for centuries! It's interesting who one would worship something that isn't forever, but super long lasting.

I also like some of the ideas of Buddhism. How there are a few Gods that make people feel safer. I personally feel the best when thinking of setting up an alter. I haven't set up one yet, cause I'm waiting to move outta the rental home. But again... I really like the 3 main Gods... And I like the God's that represent Protection, Peace, and Health. I understand that some might not understand, and that's okay... Heck... I'm just learning about Buddhism only last month! But it's fascinating!

Who says mixing different religions is wrong? I'd totally love to put different items around my home for different religions. And no disrespect... It's because I respect and admire these religions that makes me wanna partake.

I also really like the idea of believing and worshiping ancestors... Cause they've done a sh*t-ton of stuff for us to be where we are now... Why not respect them with an alter or at least a nice photograph to show respect?

I've also dabbled in spirituality. As sage, candles, and crystals also seem to make me feel a little better. Maybe not physically, but on a somewhat psychological level. The idea of safety that such actions bring. With words like "cleansing" and "positive energy". All those things factor into why I like stuff like that too.

I even enjoyed learning, but not partaking in Hispanic deities. They're fascinating! There was one... Or maybe two... I can't remember... That favored non-violent peace vs peace brought by violence. Of course they weren't as popular as the more stereotypical tough God's... But I still respect all those God's... Though personally... Human and animal sacrifices was a bit much for my liking... But hey, if it made them feel like they were safe... Who am ai to judge... Even though I personally don't condone violence.

I also liked learning about the Greek Gods and thought it would be nice to make an alter for one or two of the God's... Of course once I do more research to make sure the God's I choose got along with each other... Cause who'd wanna be worshipped with your arch nemesis😬!? I personally like Eros, since he didn't cheat or at least was able to keep it in his pants more than certain God's😑. And Psyche is also a very interesting God! Originally a human... Woo-hoo! Love wins all!! Woo-hoo! The crowd cheers!! Standing ovation for her ascent to Goddess-hood!

I don't know much about the Roman Gods, as they're very similar to the Greek Gods. And saying both Greek and Roman Gods together just confuses my sludge brain!

Also, black cats are actually good luck... According to Pagan beliefs, as well as science! Science has shown that Black cats have a better resilience in terms of survival. Unlike white cats, who usually have a bunch of medical issues. Both black and white cats are equally beautiful though. If I had the time, energy, and money, I'd get a black female cat named Yin, and a White male cat named Yang... Get it... Yin-Yang☯️!?

Anyway, overall, I think I'm in general a little confused... But very fascinated by everything.

The only thing is Cults that scare the shart outta me! But that's for another topic, and another day!

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