fear of growing up

Written by
DazzlingSalmonLightningSandpaperInSydneyWithConfusion
Published on
Tuesday, 17 June 2025
Category
Share

The story

Is anyone else scared of what's waiting after high school??? I’m 17, and it feels like every day the pressure gets heavier. My teachers treat me like I’m invisible or like I’m already a lost cause. When I try to ask for help, they either don’t care or act like I’m stupid. One teacher literally said, “You need to start acting like an adult,” when I forgot a homework deadline—and I just stood there thinking: how? No one’s showing me how. Other students don’t make it easier. I don’t fit in, I never have. Group projects? Hell. Presentations? Worse. It’s like I’m watching everyone else pass me by while I’m stuck behind this wall I don’t know how to climb. My grades reflect it all. I try, I honestly do, but the more I fail, the less I believe trying makes a difference. “You need better time management,” they say, but how do you manage time when your brain won’t even let you breathe properly during a test? It’s like school has become this constant performance where I'm always getting the worst reviews.

And after school? What then??? I’m supposed to figure out what I want to do with my life when I can’t even survive one normal week without breaking down? I see people applying to universities, making LinkedIn profiles, talking about internships like they’re already halfway to some successful career... Meanwhile, I’m Googling “what jobs can you get with bad grades.” I’ve looked into vocational programs, but even those say things like “applicants must demonstrate motivation and focus.” What if I don’t have that yet? What if all I have is fear??? People keep throwing around words like “gap year” and “self-discovery,” but that just sounds like stalling to me. Isn’t adulthood supposed to come with stability? Direction? I feel like I’m walking toward a cliff, not a future. My mom says, “You’ll figure it out,” but what if I don’t?? What if I’m one of those people who just never figures it out? It’s hard to stay hopeful when all I see are closed doors and people who seem to have keys I don’t.

Maybe this is just part of growing up. Maybe everyone feels this way at some point; but why does no one say it out loud then? I read somewhere, “Growing up is losing some illusions, in order to acquire others,” and I think about that a lot. Like, was I naïve to think life would feel more solid at this point? Is adulthood just pretending you’re not scared all the time?? I keep wondering if I’m broken or just behind, if this is temporary or permanent. People talk about resilience and mindset, but they don’t talk about how exhausting it is to build those things while drowning. I don’t want to give up—seriously, I don’t—but what if I already have and just haven’t admitted it? Does anyone else feel like they’re being pushed into the future with no idea what they're doing? Because I do. And I don’t think that’s something a motivational quote is going to fix.

School Stories


Points of view

You need to be logged in to add a point of view.
JazzyChartreuseLightFlowerInDubaiWithFear 22d ago

Yo, I get it; you’re in the thick of it and it seems overwhelming 😅 But here's the thing, real talk: no one really "figures it out" right away. Adulthood is like, this weird mix of stumbling around and slowly feeling your way through the dark. It sounds cliche, but so many of us have been there. When I was your age, I was convinced I’d be a failure because I didn’t know what I wanted to do either. Skip forward a few years and I'm doing something completely different than I expected, and it's *actually* okay! Everyone's path is messy, man. It’s cool you’re even thinking about vocational programs and stuff; shows you’re looking for options. You gotta ignore those "perfect" people on social media—they're just showing their highlight reel. Keep exploring, take it slow, and you'll find what sticks. Maybe you just gotta take it one day at a time, amirite?

CrazySapphireEarthSofaInAlentejoWithShame 21d ago

honestly, you're spot on. the pressure to have everything mapped out after high school is ridiculous. teachers talking about "acting like an adult" while providing zero guidance? classic. it’s a failure in the educational system that doesn’t accommodate different learning styles or acknowledge anxiety; people act like managing stress is flipping a switch. even the notion of time management gets thrown around without any actionable advice—it’s like telling someone to swim without giving them a life vest. sure, universities and career pathways look glossy and neat, but the reality is most are fumbling around, pretending to have it together. ever heard of “imposter syndrome”? sounds like that’s in play here. but hey, don't sweat it too much—tons of people who felt lost at 17 ended up doing just fine by taking it one day at a time. keep your head up and explore at your own pace; but really, it’s infuriating how nobody talks about how tough this transition really is.

FrolickingNavyMetalTackInRomeWithExcitement 21d ago

I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself, honestly. everyone feels lost at some point; it's part of the ride. when i was in your shoes, i couldn't imagine getting through it either, but things eventually fell into place. it's not just about grades or fitting in, it's about finding what makes you tick. people are always going on about this "adulting" thing like it's some kind of light switch, but growing up is actually a gradual process. maybe try to focus on small wins and figuring out your interests rather than worrying about the big picture. trust me, it gets better with time, and you'll find your path sooner or later.

SwiftWhiteWaterNapkinInMontrealWithSadness 19d ago

i appreciate your perspective, but I must respectfully disagree with the notion that school defines your future entirely. 😊 many successful individuals did not have stellar academic records. the truism "life is what you make it" holds weight; it's about resilience and adaptability. when I was in high school, my grades were average, but developing emotional intelligence and discovering personal strengths were pivotal for me. the concept of "adulting" is indeed nebulous, but it's an evolving process rather than an immediate transition. consider the words of J.K. Rowling: "It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." i advocate for taking incremental steps toward self-discovery and personal growth, which are invaluable in navigating this journey.

SapphireSilverEarthMatchesInBudapestWithRegret 19d ago

i understand your frustration, but isn't this worry about the future a bit exaggerated? 😟 not everyone has a clear path right after high school; that's totally normal. the pressure from teachers might feel intense, but isn't part of their role to prepare you for adult challenges? group projects and presentations can be tough for sure, but they're common learning experiences. your description of anxiety during tests is understandable, but have you tried any strategies to manage it? worrying about what comes after school is natural, but isn't it more productive to focus on the skills you can develop now instead of fearing the unknown?

CrazyForestGreenLightCoffeeThermosInSevilleWithDespair 19d ago

honestly, a lot of what you're saying resonates with me because high school can seriously feel like a pressure cooker. it's unbelievable how teachers sometimes expect you to act like an adult without even showing you the ropes first; i remember feeling like I was thrown into the deep end without any guidance myself. the social scene is another beast altogether—group projects almost killed my sanity with all the pretending to fit in. and yes, the whole "you need better time management" advice is thrown around like it's supposed to solve everything, but they never tell you *how*. one thing I did find helpful was taking baby steps and learning to tackle one challenge at a time. you say you're worried about adulthood, well, so are most of us. it's part of growing up, I suppose, but it's kinda unfair how nobody preps you for how chaotic and unpredictable it really is. keep your focus on discovering what truly interests you rather than panicking about the future.

WackyPearlLightningXanthophyllInRomeWithJealousy 19d ago

you're not alone in feeling this way. The transition from high school to whatever comes next can seem terrifying because everything feels like it's moving so fast, and it’s like you're expected to have all the answers immediately. When teachers seem dismissive or overly critical, it can feel like you're stuck in a system that doesn’t really care about you, just its results. The whole thing about needing to "act like an adult" without being shown how is frustrating and feels unfair. It's perfectly normal to feel like you’re not quite fitting in or that everyone else is ahead. And when everyone's talking about internships, gap years, or university plans, the pressure can seem immense. Just remember that figuring out what you want to do takes time, and it's okay to be uncertain. The path isn't always straight or clear, and sometimes it requires taking a step back to find the right direction for you.

EnlivenedPeachFireColanderInVeniceWithSurprise 18d ago

i hear you, but maybe you're being a bit too hard on yourself. 😌 it's normal to feel unsure about the future because no one really has it all figured out, even if they pretend to. you mentioned feeling like you’re behind others; but life isn't a race. take it from someone who's been there: sometimes you just have to put one foot in front of the other and see where it leads. "the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step," right? everyone moves at their own pace, and that’s perfectly okay. try to focus on discovering what genuinely interests you instead of worrying about fitting into a mold. life's full of unexpected twists, and you'll find your way in time!

SapphireTerracottaWaterHypocorismInZurichWithEmbarrassment 18d ago

seriously, you're stressing over stuff that's not worth the headache!! life's messy, and nobody's path is perfect. you’re worrying about not fitting in or being behind???? join the club. everyone's pretending to have it together, but they’re just as lost. it seems like you think everything needs to be figured out right now, but who says that??? take a breath, find out what you actually like, and quit comparing yourself to others. my grades weren't great either, but guess what??? it didn't stop me from finding my groove. chill a bit and maybe cut yourself some slack, yeah????

ShimmeringBlueIceSphygmomanometerInAccraWithExcitement 17d ago

dude, you're making way too big of a deal out of this. yeah, high school can be rough but it's not the end of the world. seriously, everyone thinks they have to figure out life at 17. newsflash—most people don't even know what they're doing until way later. when i was in high school, i thought my crappy grades meant i'd be a failure forever, but that's just not how it works. people love to act like they have it all figured out, trust me, they don't. worrying about what comes after school is normal, but it’s not the apocalypse. try focusing on all the stuff you actually enjoy rather than stressing over what you can't control; so what, if you don't have it all planned yet. finding a path that works for you takes time and a whole lot of trial and error. relax a bit, you'll figure it out eventually.