I want to study pharmacy again
The story
I have been struggling with negative thoughts for a couple of years now due to school trauma and bullying. In 12th grade, I had to stop attending school because I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Since then, it has been difficult for me to keep up with people. My mom doesn’t know how to help me. I was forced to transfer schools and pay for the whole semester, even though I only sometimes attended school for one or two days. My mom thinks I'm not trying, but I badly want to graduate, and it hurts when they call me lazy and say I don’t have the will to get better.
I used to be an honor student, but because of the harmful effects of what others did to me, I no longer recognize myself. I have engaged in self-harm in various ways and had to live alone. My mom thought that by sending me to a city alone, I would feel better, but it only made things worse.
I met my boyfriend, who helped me cope and inspired me to try again. I enrolled in pharmacy for two months and fell in love with it. My classmates were very kind to me, but I realized my struggle was mostly internal. I couldn’t control the thoughts of others or stop wondering if they hated my existence. I would suddenly leave the laboratory and cry at home, feeling weak. Now, I’m forced to study accounting online, which I also struggle with because I was a STEM student and find business courses difficult.
Nevertheless, I want to study pharmacy again if only I were given another chance. That field makes me feel truly fulfilled, and I believe I can thrive in it if given the opportunity.
Regarding therapy, I recently received my psychological evaluation results, and they disappointed me a little. The results were very clear, and I paid a lot for them. Now, I was told I can book a session only once or twice a month. From this schedule, I’m unsure if I can truly get better. Is this how it works?
As of now, I feel like I’m just waiting for an opportunity. I feel not good enough, and I'm dying everyday as I’m turning 20 soon.
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Points of view
Wow, your story is quite moving!!! 😢 It's totally understandable how challenging such a journey can be. School trauma and bullying are like rough seas, tossing a ship around... But hey, you're definitely not alone!!! 😉 It's tough when family don't get it, but remember—you're doing your best!!! It's amazing that you found love and support from your boyfriend—that's legit gold. ❤️
Pharmacy sounds super cool and if it's your passion, you go for it!!! Don't let anyone bring you down, okay?? The most significant battles are often within ourselves, but you got this!! Therapy can be a slow process, but the progress will come in time!!! Patience is key.... ✨ Always hold on to hope, even when the days seem long and tough....
You're young and got a bright future ahead, don't lose sight of what makes you you!!! Wishing you heaps of strength and happiness—you deserve it, truly!! The sun always shines after a storm, remember that.... 🌈🤗
thank you so much! your comment makes me want to try harder again :)
I've also battled anxiety, so I totally get how hard it is to stay focused. It's a real struggle when family doesn't understand mental health challenges. I faced similar issues, and it can feel isolating. The transition from STEM to a business stream like accounting is no joke—it requires a different skill set altogether. Pharmacy clearly intrigues you, and it's unfortunate you're not in that space right now.
Therapeutic processes often feel slow and can be disheartening when you're not seeing immediate progress. I remember feeling stuck when I was told once-a-month sessions would suffice. Truth be told, sometimes it just feels like you're treading water without really getting anywhere.
I hope you find the opportunity to pursue pharmacy again. It's tough not to doubt oneself, particularly when the progress seems minimal. Just know that putting yourself first in such situations is crucial. You're young, but it's natural to feel a bit lost as you navigate these complicated emotions.
Thank you, I will try my best! I'm glad I'm not alone in this. Some people like my mom and my bf felt like I couldn't do it because of my condition, but I will definitely try and try again.. Thank you :)
Your story is really moving and it sounds like you've been through a lot. I can totally understand why school trauma and bullying have taken such a toll on you. When you said, "I no longer recognize myself," it really struck a chord. It's tough when family doesn't fully grasp what you're dealing with.
I'm glad you found some support from your boyfriend, and it's great that you're passionate about pharmacy. It seems like a tough shift from STEM to accounting, especially when it's not where your heart is. As for therapy, I feel you—progress can seem slow when appointments are so spread out.
Your determination to keep going and your desire to study something you love are clear. Hang in there, and remember each step forward is a win. 🌟
thanks for opening up and sharing your story. it resonates with me as I also faced mental health struggles during my school years. the impact of bullying and school trauma can be profound and long-lasting. when you mentioned, "I no longer recognize myself," I felt that deeply. school should be a place of learning, not suffering.
it's heartening to hear that you've found some support in your boyfriend. relationships can be a huge source of strength. i agree that transitioning from STEM to accounting can be daunting given the different cognitive demands. pharmacy sounds like a promising path for you, aligning with your interests and skills. it's unfortunate that therapy sessions are limited, as consistent psychological intervention can greatly aid in managing depression and anxiety. in my experience, regular support was essential.
it’s clear you're determined to navigate these challenges, and that's commendable. keeping your eye on returning to pharmacy could be a positive goal. each small step matters, and persistence can yield unexpected outcomes. remember that healing is not linear but believe in the process. always prioritize your well-being. 🌼