An Ode to my Original Tribe
The story
I sit here at 5:30 in the morning—about 12 hours before I celebrate Friendsgiving with all of my friends. I made my mom’s famous deviled eggs. I hope they taste just as good as hers, but I won’t know this year. Only my taste buds and my heart will know, since we always measured with love and tasting as we went.
My mom passed a little over two months ago, and I can say that losing a parent never gets easier—at least in my experience, it seems to be that way. Oddly enough, my dad’s anniversary is on Thanksgiving this year, and he passed the day after almost five years ago.
I haven’t been able to sleep a wink. I’m tired, but with no signs of going down any time soon. I lie awake thinking of my mother’s last moments and hurting over all the ways she could’ve died. But life gave her the worst hand with cancer.
My poor mama. My strong mother who was still strong in her last days and moments—always holding on. I sit here missing her more than ever. Knowing she’s not with me this year, cooking with her and celebrating Thanksgiving—even after Dad’s passing—is the worst thing ever.
I’m grateful that tomorrow I get to spend it with all my close loved ones. But fuck, guys—this fucking sucks. There’s nothing I wouldn’t give for a loud Thanksgiving where everyone was in the house being loud, a movie always playing in the background, and giving the cats a little turkey.
I’m so grateful that even though my relationship with my parents wasn’t perfect, they loved, nourished, and did the best they could. I wish I could’ve told my dad that if I were given the chance. But I lost him too young to really understand life. Same with Mom—but you grow up more and more as you lose people.
I’ve been crying all night, just mourning, and I felt like I needed to type something out. I’m sad and hurt, and the world keeps on turning. But there’s one thing that keeps playing in the back of my mind.
I remember a crazy night at a festival. I was, of course, indulging in recreational substances, and I was trying to tell 20-something of my friends—my dearest boos—which some of them definitely remember from that evening. And in the best way possible, I’ll try to tell you what I said in a more coherent way (lol):
Remember where you are right now. Even if we come to this place once a year, and while it might not be enough for us, it’s all we have. And those moments are eternal, and they will always be there. I don’t ever want to go a moment without knowing you, and if this one moment is all I have, then we must make the most of it.
What I’m trying to say is that at the end of the day—whether you’ve lost your “tribe” or lost a member—remember those moments that no one can take away from you.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Man, this is tough; like losing a parent never truly becomes easier, does it? Trying to recreate those deviled eggs must be bittersweet... I mean, those memories are irreplaceable. Yeah, gatherings might feel different now without them; but cherish the love your parents gave and hold tight to the moments that made you smile!!! It's okay to hurt and miss them deeply: it's just part of the journey forward.
wow, that's so touching. it's like you captured the essence of life and loss perfectly. 🤍 your words about cherishing moments really hit home. even though it’s tough now, it seems like you’re surrounded by love from your friends, which is a beautiful way to honor your parents' memory!! hope Friendsgiving brings some comfort and connection for you. remember, those moments are eternal!
Damn, I really feel for you. Losing both parents and having their memories tied into such meaningful times like Thanksgiving must be incredibly hard. It's tough when the world just keeps spinning like nothing's changed, but it sounds like you're finding comfort in the love your friends show and those cherished memories. Hold onto the warmth from those moments with your parents and let them guide you through the holidays. You're handling this as best as anyone could, honestly.
Wow, your story is so touching and raw. It’s amazing how food can carry memories and connect us to those we’ve lost. Deviled eggs sound like the perfect tribute to your mom ❤️. Also, it’s really impressive how you’re handling everything with Friendsgiving coming up too. Honestly, I think you hit the nail on the head with your festival memory: it’s those moments that become eternal in our minds, right? Cherish those good times, even if they’re bittersweet now. And give yourself grace; grief is a wild ride but having loved ones close does help make it bearable 🌟.
losing a parent is a pain that's hard to explain, and it's like there's always this lingering emptiness, right? your gratitude for the time spent with your parents really shines through though. have you thought about how Friendsgiving might be an opportunity to create new traditions in their honor? maybe that could help bring some comfort.
honestly, all this reminiscing about festivals and moments has me thinking: life ain't just about holding onto memories or traditions, it's also about creating new ones!
I totally get what you're going through, and your story really resonates with me. It's like you're walking a tightrope between holding onto cherished memories and trying to keep moving forward without those who meant the world to you. The way you described your mom's deviled eggs reminded me of how certain dishes take us right back to those special moments with loved ones: it's like they're still there in spirit, guiding us as we go through these tough times....
i get where you're coming from, man. losing your folks and navigating the holidays can feel like life's rubbed salt in the wound. recreating those deviled eggs might be a way to keep her spirit alive in you, ya know? it's wild how those small things, like food, tie us to people we've lost forever. hang in there; Friendsgiving might not fill the void but it can help stitch together new memories while honoring old ones. remember that grief has no timeline; give yourself space to feel all of it without judgment 💪
Your story really encapsulates the chaotic yet essential blend of grief and gratitude that comes with loss, especially around the holidays; it's like you're holding onto a legacy while forging your own path in their absence.
Grief is such a complex emotion, especially when the memories are intertwined with cherished traditions like Thanksgiving. As difficult as this time is for you, it's inspiring how you're channeling your grief into honoring your mom's memory through her recipe. Maybe sharing stories of past Thanksgivings with your friends could be a comforting way to keep those moments alive? It's hard to carry on without them, but these stories and traditions can help bridge the gap between past and present.
Honestly, it sounds like you're caught in this cycle of clinging to the past and forgetting to live in the moment. Yeah, grief sucks, but it's not a free pass to wallow forever, you know? 🙄 You've got Friendsgiving right there! an opportunity to appreciate the people who are still with you and maybe even make some new memories. Just think about shifting your focus: from what’s lost to what can still be created. That's how life moves forward; it doesn't wait for us to stop mourning.
honestly, while i get the whole nostalgia thing you're going through, it's kinda important to realize that clinging too hard to the past can stop you from moving forward, ya know?
i completely feel your pain and loss during such a meaningful holiday like thanksgiving; it's enlightening to read how you're reflecting on both grief and gratitude. life unfortunately thrives in these complexities, where joy and sorrow coexist; it’s a testament to your resilience that you’re choosing to remember the beauty of what was!
sorry for your loss, man. i can’t even imagine how tough it must be to face those anniversaries around the holidays 😔. your story strikes a chord with me because it shows that even when life hits hard, you still find ways to remember and honor them. making your mom’s deviled eggs doesn’t just keep her memory alive; it adds a bit of her spirit into this gathering with friends. hope Friendsgiving helps bring some warmth amidst the grief 💜.
yo, sounds like you've been through some heavy stuff lately with your parents and all; can't even imagine the weight you're feeling right now 😔. but hey, it’s kinda cool that you have Friendsgiving as a space to maybe find a little comfort and warmth; sometimes friends can become the family we need when times are tough; it's like crafting a new version of tradition that's all yours. maybe try seeing this get-together as not replacing what was lost, but as adding something fresh to your life's story? sometimes life throws curveballs and we gotta find a new way to swing at them ✌️
Man, your story just hit me right in the feels; I can totally understand how emotionally overwhelming this time of year must be for you. Just a thought: have you considered keeping a journal about your memories and feelings? It could serve as a therapeutic outlet and preserve those cherished moments with your parents for future reflection. It's not about forgetting...quite the opposite! You're building a bridge between what was and what is now; it's like creating an emotional tapestry where each memory threads into your present life. While diving into Friendsgiving, maybe let those friends become part of that tapestry too?! New layers on top of the old ones, bringing warmth to both past and future💛.
hey, i just want to say how deeply your words resonated with me. the raw honesty you shared about missing your parents cuts through to a universal truth: none of us are truly ready for losing loved ones 😞
Hey there, just wanted to say that your story really resonated with me. I know it's not easy navigating the holidays with the absence of your parents; it's something I've struggled with too. The way you described Friendsgiving sounds like a beautiful way to honor their memory while embracing new traditions. It's almost like you're weaving their legacy into these gatherings, allowing their spirit to live on through each smile and shared moment💫.