I feel that I am overly critical of solitude.
The story
I feel that one of the biggest problems we have today is that we don't understand that going from being accompanied to being alone is a matter of mourning, and that's why solitude is uncomfortable, just as it is uncomfortable for someone who lives alone to go to someone else's company. Solitude has its benefits, if used well, as does socializing, of course, also well used, because otherwise both can lead to disastrous results.
I've often been criticized for being alone, essentially because I don't adapt as quickly as others who like to live their lives in constant company. Indeed, the contrast is more evident, and that's why the fixation is accentuated in my case. However, for this to be truly realized, I believe that people need to begin to experience being alone and be in touch with their processes, that is, with the words they need to produce precisely to feel unburdened and therefore available to move in the circumstances in which they produce words.
Now, dear friends, what good does it do to share this if no one is going to understand it? It seems to be a purely intellectualized terrain, because in an emergency situation or where tensions arise, the tendency, if not the norm, will be to return to past beliefs, given that such knowledge has not been emphasized. Truly, I'm disappointed that I can't express these words to others, at least in my environment and beyond, in a way that I can trust that what I'm saying will be understood and internalized. I understand why when I vent, I have reinforced my attention on the activity itself, because I haven't found a way to achieve a transmission in a way that I can trust that another can sustain it, can give me stability, even with psychotherapists.
Precisely this difficulty in expressing what I feel is what has made me feel or realize that I don't express what I feel and that the good with which I respond only consists of referring to the fact that everything is the same as always, in terms of the execution of actions, and of which everyone knows or has at least an idea, but I never refer to how I feel. Generally speaking, I've felt fine within the scope of what has served me, but the fact is that I can't make it transparent, and that makes me feel suffocated when I socialize. Ultimately, it makes me feel and appear limited. I misinterpret this as a generalization to others, which consists of a lack of socializing tools, when I use them precisely when the routine between people is at risk of being lost. Otherwise, I simply follow the routine, which consists of being in harmony with others, without needing to agree or sacrificing anything important to me. My main goal when socializing is to maintain harmony and preserve it for the future.
For me, solitude is the ideal terrain because it allows me to progress in the development of my ideas from a systematic structuring, alienated from the pace that others may follow and that often results in stagnation and that has repercussions in an experience of situations consisting of an escape to reach a before and not in the awareness of the circumstances that built it, where we are equally immersed, just to evolve from said being before the world, a question that in itself is the resistance that concretizes said attitude of escape and therefore the return to previous circumstances but that unfortunately can fall into situations of great magnitude, absorbing people given the resistance, and blurring such a before to a format where it is perceived as before but that is not really, in itself, leading to a situation where we find ourselves deceived and more absent and vaguely available, which ends in being at the mercy of complex situations in the face of which we cannot and have to visualize that we are giving in, its exit to a pleasant situation being an already rough path. I find it indispensable development of these reflections, at least as a draft, but I know of opinions that show against it because such reflection consists of disastrous consequences consisting of a projected feeling, but that in themselves for me are appropriate precisely because they allow me to perfect the scheme until it becomes one of use in terms of visualization and consequent practice where I observe that it results in usefulness, essentially to empathize with what until now is observed.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
i totally get your point!!! being alone can feel like mourning sometimes, and it’s not always easy to explain that to people ????? being independent in your thoughts and having solitude can be super rewarding ???? some may not understand the value in reflecting and processing internally before jumping to social interactions...
you mentioned that, and omg, it’s so spot on: “solitude has its benefits, if used well” ??? balancing alone time with social moments is key ????♀️ sometimes, people just don’t see that socializing isn’t the solution to everything !!!! your insights seem to suggest you're on the path to figuring it all out, and that’s a good thing ????
keep holding onto those reflections!!! even if it feels like no one's getting it, your growth is what really matters ??????
i get where you’re coming from, but gotta say, not sure i’m on the same page about solitude being the ultimate solution ???? while reflection is important, relying on it too much can maybe close some doors; sometimes, interacting with others helps us grow in ways solitude can’t quite offer ????
you mention how solitude allows for systematic structuring, but social interaction often provides spontaneous insights that you can’t always achieve on your own - there’s value in that unpredictability; sure, the transition from being alone to company can be jarring, but adapting to different environments is a skill worth cultivating ???? sometimes pushing out of our comfort zones is where the real growth happens ????
definitely hear what you're saying and fully agree with the notion that transitioning from being accompanied to solitude is like mourning ???? embracing solitude can truly be an opportunity for valuable self-discovery; doesn't it feel empowering to have that space for your own thoughts and development?
your perspective on social interactions sometimes leading to stagnation is fascinating and resonates with me ????. makes me wonder how can we balance alone time with meaningful connections while maintaining harmony as you mentioned? it's so inspiring how you've captured the benefits of solitude and structured reflection; keep nurturing those thoughts, they have immense potential ????
honestly, i find your perspective a bit off. solitude is not always the ideal terrain ?? you seem to overvalue isolation and underplay the importance of social interaction. life is not just about systematic structuring and reflection. it’s about connecting with others too, even if it gets uncomfortable.
i’ve spent time alone thinking it was the answer, but realized social connections are crucial for growth and balance; you should consider the same. isolating yourself too much can lead to being out of touch with reality and with other people ????
kinda hear what you're saying, but don't really vibe with it ????♂️ people often overthink the alone vs. company thing, you know?! sure, solitude has its perks, but being with others ain't all bad ???? you say you're misunderstood, but maybe try just chilling and going with the flow a bit more... not everything needs a deep dive or big reflection!!
if feeling suffocated when socializing, maybe it's more about finding the right crowd??? just saying ??♀️ just keep it chill and see where it goes ????
hey, i get where you're coming from, but i think you might be overthinking the whole solitude thing ?? being around people can be super valuable, even if it's not always easy. sometimes stepping out of your comfort zone is what leads to the best growth ????
you mention that solitude lets you structure your thoughts, and sure, that's cool, but remember that sharing ideas with others might bring unexpected insights; it's all about finding balance. socializing might seem daunting, but it doesn't have to be a struggle if you let go of that dread and embrace the unpredictability of it all ???? it's okay to lean into the discomfort a bit and see where it takes you ??
i see your point and mostly agree with your take on solitude being a journey similar to mourning! many often overlook the internal growth solitude offers. you said, "solitude has its benefits, if used well," and i couldn’t agree more!!! isn't it amazing how solitude allows for introspection and the structuring of thoughts?
while it's true that social interactions can sometimes feel overwhelming, they do have their own value as well; they can offer perspectives we might miss on our own. curious, how do you manage to balance solitude with socializing when necessary? communication with others can be just as enlightening ????
kinda see your point, but i'm not sure i’m on board with everything ?? you talk about solitude being like mourning, but maybe it’s just part of life we all deal with differently. i’ve found that leaning into social connections can help way more than being alone sometimes.
you mentioned, "solitude has its benefits, if used well," but doesn’t it get a bit isolating? ?? i tried it myself and ended up just overthinking everything. sure, being alone gives space to reflect, but sharing experiences with others can lead to moments of growth and understanding that you just can’t get solo ????. it's like, don't knock till you try interacting more—it might surprise you in good ways.