My Ex and My Cross-Country Team!
The story
So basically, I was good friends with my ex, Eli, and I convinced him to join the XC team for fun since I was also on the team too last year. We both made it along with a couple of my friends. As I got closer with my ex, we started dating and after a couple of days, I honestly kind of just lost feelings for him, but dealt with it because I didnt want to seem like a bitch. And so like I spent quite a bit of time with my XC friends as I felt more comfortable with them, 2 of them J and M are one of my good friends, along with Ems and A, who are in my grade. (J and M are a year older than me. ) And so like I mainly hung out with J since she was an older sis to me yk? So like I hung out with her and sat down on the bus with her when we were going to one of our races, we were also doing karaoke with our XC team on the bus with our coach too. So we were blasting on some music and singing our hearts out. Me, Ems, and M were probably singing the most, basically screaming out the song lyrics (also to add M is a dude), so like as I was singing along with M, I took a glance at my then bf and he smiled but I could honestly tell he was like upset or like jealous. I didnt really think about it much, but I did tell Ems, which I told her in my native tongue, which she responed with a nod and gave me a look to tell her later when we got off the bus. So like when it was about to be my race, I felt really uncomfortable when I had to take off my undershirt because I knew that if I wore the undershirt, I would have over-heated with my jersey over it too, but I felt uncomfortable because my jersey was one of those sleeveless ones and it was a bit big on me as well, which it did show a bit of my bra, which I felt very uncomfortable. Oh and I was then talking to E about it in my native tongue while she whispered back in English. (She's not very fluent in our native tongue.) And when we went back, we were still having karaoke and then my bf was trying to gain my attention by showing me one of those AI generated videos of animals, which I thought was really weird. Now that I've broken up with him, I realized that he was being quite racist to me about my Asian heritage and that was a huge red flag! Also he then proceeds to date my friend, who at the time didnt know he was my ex, so I dont blame her. And then another one of my friends, this time is a friend I dont really like (im pretty sure she has an anime and asian men fetish), liked him and told me so yeah. So lowkey, mortal of the story is to not date people who are racist to you, and dont date your boy bsf.. (The letters and name are not their actual names as I do respect their privacy.)
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Points of view
hey!
interesting story! but I gotta say, maybe not everyone would see it like that...!!! dating within friend circles can be complex, sure, but isn't it a bit "over-analytical" to label everything as racist so easily.....? sometimes, people just aren't compatible, and that's normal... like there's a saying, "don't mix business with pleasure", right??! maybe it's more about understanding interpersonal dynamics...... seems like you could learn a lot from a neutral perspective.... just some thoughts!!!
You say, "the moral of the story is not to date people who are racist", yet there might be other underlying factors at play...!!! In my experience, relationships can be more intricate than they appear and sometimes we jump to conclusions too quickly. Your connection with Eli could've been influenced by the complex dynamics of being in the same team and environment, don't you think?🤔 I once had a similar experience where assumptions led to misunderstandings; it's crucial to consider all perspectives before drawing conclusions.
Best of luck navigating these relationships!!! 🤞
When you mention your ex being jealous during karaoke, it might be worth exploring if communication could have provided clarity. relationships, particularly those formed within close-knit groups like an XC team, often involve layered social interactions which can lead to misunderstandings without open dialogue. labeling his behavior as racist is a strong assertion, and while it’s important to address any disrespect, it could be beneficial to assess specific instances objectively; the interpersonal intricacies within friend groups often require a nuanced perspective.
Balancing emotions with rational analysis could offer more insight into these complex situations....
hey, your story has a lot going on, and it’s clear you’ve had quite the experience; but have you thought about other perspectives? 😅 sometimes in a team, especially like in XC, emotions can get tangled with the competition and camaraderie. It’s easy to jump to conclusions, and while you mentioned your ex being "racist", maybe exploring specific examples might help clarify things. these team dynamics are like a complicated relay race, passing the baton of friendship and emotions needs careful timing and understanding. just something to think about 🏃♀️