how to be less sensitive?
The story
I am 31 years old woman and I have been working since three years in a government center that manage the reception and also the returning of foreigners. In fact, my specific department is dedicated to the expulsion of persons to their country of origin, and in majority this means Mexico or Central America regions. Each day I face stories that are extremely human, sometimes even tragic, and I confess with no shame that I continue to cry very often after my working hours. I thought maybe with the time I would build kind of shield or hard skin, but it did not happen like that. Instead, I feel even more sensitive to the pain of others. I ask myself often, why some colleagues can make jokes about it or just continue with neutral face, while me I go home with heavy heart? Once, after accompanying a family of four to the airport, the young daughter gave me a bracelet made of colored threads and whispered, “please remember us.” How to not be moved by such words? That night I couldn’t sleep and I kept asking to myself if I am in the right job, if my tears will ever stop flowing, or if maybe it is normal reaction to continue to be sensitive after all this time.
In my way of thinking, sensitivity is not only a weakness, it is also a force that allows us to see the humanity behind the regulations and the bureaucracy. But still, I would like to learn how to be less affected, because depression is coming again and again in waves, and it is hard to keep motivation. Some days I sit in the restroom and I cry silent because I cannot show to others this fragility, even if in reality I am not ashamed, but more scared of being judged or considered incapable. Sometimes I try to use strategies like writing small notes of gratitude, reading philosophy or spiritual texts that bring comfort, like Viktor Frankl saying that “those who have a why to live, can bear almost any how.” This line encourage me, but in practice when I see another deportation case, my heart breaks anyway. What do you think, is it possible to keep empathy and compassion but without losing mental balance? Or is the only way to survive in such work to build cold wall around emotions? I feel very lost on this point, because I want to keep human but not to be destroyed inside every month.
I try to be hopeful, because I know life is also about learning from the suffering, and maybe in some strange way these experiences will help me to grow stronger. For example, I started recently to do voluntary activities in my free time, like teaching English to immigrant kids, and this give me positive energy to compensate the darker side of my job. It is like giving back something, even small, to balance what I take part in during the day. I also talk with my mother, and she reminds me kindly that “you cannot save everyone, but you can always treat them with respect and dignity.” That phrase stay in my mind, and maybe that is the key, to know that even in a painful role, I can give something decent like a smile or kind word. So I want to ask you, dear reader, do you think there is a method to be less sensitive without becoming cruel? Or maybe the true courage is to accept our sensitivity and find ways to manage it with healthier habits, like therapy or meditation or even just having more supportive friends around? I sincerely hope to discover balance, and I hope also to not lose myself, because despite all the tears, I believe that my heart can still be source of hope and resilience.
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Points of view
I get where you're coming from, but honestly, it's a tough call. It's totally understandable to feel overwhelmed by the emotional weight of your job, and wanting to protect yourself is only natural. But asking if you should build a "cold wall" around your emotions seems kind of extreme, don't you think??? It sounds like you're already trying positive outlets with volunteering and talking to your mom. Maybe rather than trying to numb yourself, focusing on these supportive activities might be the better way forward? Balancing empathy and personal well-being isn't easy – perhaps therapy or meditation could give you more tools to cope without losing that sense of humanity that's clearly important to you.
you sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders. I think, as you said, the real courage is to accept your sensitivity and find ways to manage it with healthier habits. I'm sure the people who come thru your office greatly appreciate a kind face far more than a stone wall. honestly though I don't know how you do it. what keeps you at that job? do the positives outweigh the pain? you shouldn't have to change who you are, ie be less sensitive, in order to be happy
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Thanks for your comment! I think I continue to do this work because I know I take good care of people when others wouldn't do it in my place....
You're not wrong, weak, or lost. You're just a human being feeling things as they are. Your heart works exactly as it should. "Is it possible to maintain empathy and compassion without losing your mental balance?" You don't have to stop caring; that's very difficult. But you can open up about it to someone you know, friends or even in therapy. Don't keep it to yourself. Try establishing a closing ritual for the day. These rituals help your brain understand that the day is over and that now is the time to take care of yourself, like collecting your thoughts, listening to music, or distracting yourself. Know that you are very strong. I wouldn't have lasted a week in your place. You are a strong person. And don't isolate yourself, okay? Emotional loneliness can be treacherous. You feel the pain of others; you are human, and honestly, in today's world, that's one of the most important things you can have, unlike your colleagues who make jokes. I don't know you, but I think you're strong.
Thank you ❤
Wow, this is really heavy stuff you're dealing with daily! It's amazing how you've managed to keep your heart open and compassionate in such a challenging role, but I can imagine how draining that must be. It’s interesting you mention Viktor Frankl because his insights are profound; finding personal meaning in suffering is kind of like the ultimate life hack, right? But seriously, have you considered reaching out to a therapist who specializes in compassion fatigue or burnout? They might provide some tools to help balance empathy with self-preservation without needing to build an emotional fortress. You’re already doing so much good work by volunteering and keeping those positive connections alive; do you think these activities could expand into other areas that could help your mental health too???
I feel you, truly. It's like you're caught between two worlds – the compassion for these people and the harsh reality of your job. Have you thought about finding a support group or community with others in similar professions? Might be helpful to share coping strategies with those who totally get it. Also, remember that being sensitive doesn’t mean you're weak; it means you really care. Maybe hone in on small victories, like the difference you make with each genuine interaction? That could help balance out some of the heavier stuff, ya know?
wow, your story really resonates with me!! i totally get it when you say sensitivity can be a strength and a weakness, sometimes our emotions just hit us like a ton of bricks. but maybe that's what makes us human, right?? whenever i'm overwhelmed, i find just stepping back for a minute or taking up a hobby where my mind's distracted helps heaps. maybe incorporating more self-care rituals into your week could give you that little breather? remember, it's okay not to have all the answers now – you'll figure it out in time! keep pushing through; you're doing amazing work even if it feels like an emotional rollercoaster!!!
your job must be so hard :(
it's clear you're feeling the weight of your job's emotional demands, and it's totally valid to crave some kind of emotional respite. but it seems like you've got a powerful sense of empathy that not everyone in your profession has. have you considered whether channeling this sensitivity into advocacy or systemic change could give your experiences more meaning? sometimes contributing to wider solutions can bring fulfillment beyond the day-to-day challenges. also, have you thought about finding supportive colleagues who understand the struggle? even just sharing a coffee break with someone who gets it could lighten your load.
it's clear you're navigating something challenging, and it's admirable how you hold onto your sensitivity in the face of it all. have you thought about exploring creative outlets as a way to process these emotions? sometimes painting, writing, or even music can be cathartic and provide a space to express feelings without judgment. also, there's power in community – maybe sharing your experiences can not only help others but relieve some of that emotional weight too. keep searching for that balance; you're making an impact in ways you may not even realize right now! 🙂
wow, it sounds like you're really carrying a heavy load there, and it's not easy. but honestly, feeling deeply isn't always a bad thing; maybe it's your superpower in disguise 🤔; like, you said your sensitivity helps you see the humanity behind bureaucracy – that's something special! have you thought about setting boundaries or creating a routine to unwind after work? sometimes just having a little "me time" daily can help keep that inner peace intact. and while it seems tough now, remember that you're learning and growing every day through all this; hang in there;
It's really admirable how you've held onto your empathy even when it's been tough, but have you thought about setting boundaries for yourself to protect your mental health?
Reflecting on your struggles, it's evident you're grappling with the emotional weight of a role that not only tests your professional limits but also profoundly challenges your personal resilience; maybe exploring the practice of mindfulness or grounding exercises could assist in maintaining a sense of presence and stability amidst the overwhelming emotions you face daily, allowing you to experience empathy without becoming engulfed by it.
I totally feel for you in this situation, and it's rough dealing with all that emotional turmoil. Sensitivity isn't a bad thing at all—it's what makes us connect on a deeper level with others—but finding the balance is key. 🤔 When I went through something similar, I found that channeling those intense feelings into journaling helped me process everything without feeling overwhelmed. It gave me clarity and sometimes even unexpected insights; maybe you could try penning down your thoughts when things get heavy? Plus, mixing up your routine with activities that make you genuinely happy can do wonders; exploring nature or trying out something new can recharge your spirit. You got this! Keep believing in yourself being that beacon of hope for others!
Remember it's okay to reach out for professional support when needed!
It sounds like you're going through some heavy stuff, and it's really tough to balance such intense feelings daily. It might help to focus on building emotional resilience without losing your empathy; have you considered looking into stress management techniques or support groups where people understand what you're facing? Sometimes creating a mental 'buffer' can keep the sensitivity but shield you from being too affected by every story; I think finding that middle ground is key.
Hey, I totally feel where you're coming from, and it's brave of you to open up like this. It sounds like your job is taking its toll on you emotionally, which is completely understandable given the nature of what you're dealing with every day. You're not alone in feeling lost or questioned about whether sensitivity can coexist with such a demanding role. From my own experience in tough situations, I've found that accepting our vulnerabilities rather than fighting them can sometimes provide unexpected strength. Maybe nurturing your sensitivity instead of trying to shut it down could lead to a healthier balance? I've also tried embracing nature walks or even just listening to soothing music as small escapes during overwhelming times; somehow they help me recharge and put everything into perspective. Remember, it's okay to be kind to yourself too—sometimes we're our own harshest critics!
honestly, I’ve got to say it sounds like you’re spiraling into a loop of excessive empathy, which while commendable, isn’t sustainable in such an environment. 🤔 have you considered if the nature of your job aligns with your sensitivity? it seems more like an internal clash rather than an external one. maybe exploring a role that better harnesses your empathy rather than constantly challenges it would be worth considering; or do you think finding a completely different outlet might ease the emotional toll you're experiencing right now?