I've been workin at the same company for over four years now, and honestly, it still feels like I'm the odd one out. I’ve done my job, stayed late when needed, never caused any trouble, but still… something feels off. Like, when I walk into a room, conversations pause for a sec. When there’s a group lunch or afterwork drink thing, I’m always the last to hear about it—if I even hear at all. I try to tell myself it’s just in my head, but man, it keeps happening. It’s not that they’re openly rude or hostile, but there’s a vibe, you kno? Like I’m not really part of the team, just someone they have to tolerate. And the worst part is, I don’t even know what I did wrong.

I’ve tried to be nice. I smile, I say good morning, I ask people how their weekend went. Some just nod, others give half replies and walk off. Meanwhile I see them having inside jokes, sending memes in the group chat I’m barely part of, planning lunch together while I sit alone at my desk pretending not to notice. It’s draining. I’ve wondered a million times if it’s something about my face, my voice, the way I talk. Am I too quiet? Too weird? Maybe I came off as stuck-up when I first joined and now they just kept that opinion. But I swear I didn’t do anything to deserve this cold shoulder treatment. It’s like being invisible and watched at the same time.

Meetings are even worse. I’ll share an idea, and it’s like no one hears it—until someone else repeats the same thing five minutes later and suddenly it’s brilliant. I’ll send a message in the team chat, and no one replies, but the same question from someone else gets five thumbs-up and a laughing emoji. I keep my head down, keep doing the work, and still feel like I don’t belong. When there’s group work, I get picked last, like school all over again. It’s not even subtle. I once walked into the break room and heard my name—then silence. I smiled and said hey anyway, and they just mumbled and walked out. I felt so dumb standing there, pretending I didn’t feel that.

I’ve thought about leaving. So many times. But I’ve built things here. I’ve worked on good projects, had moments where I felt proud. And starting over somewhere else? Scary. What if the same thing happens there? What if it's not them—what if it’s me? That thought haunts me more than anything. Like maybe I’m just not likable. Maybe there’s something wrong with me that I can’t see but everyone else can. I try to fix things. I joined their stupid fantasy football league even though I hate it. I brought donuts on a Friday. No one even said thanks. I keep tryin and tryin, but nothing changes. It’s exhausting.

Sometimes I just wish someone would tell me the truth. Even if it hurt. Just say, “Hey, you’re too blunt” or “You don’t listen enough” or something. At least then I’d know what to work on. But this silence, this fake politeness? It’s worse. It’s like death by a thousand cuts. I don’t want to be the guy everyone avoids. I don’t want to feel like this. I’m just trying to work, to have a few decent connections, maybe a friend or two. But here I am, four years in, and I still eat lunch alone most days. So yeah, maybe people don’t like me. I wish I knew why. I really do.

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