Why can't I do anything right?
The story
i have been working for about ten years now and it feels like i have been failing for ten years straight, i am a woman in my thirties and when i started i thought i was gonna be smart and study sociology because i liked reading random stuff and arguing about society, turns out i sucked at it and failed hard, exams, papers, motivation, all trash, so i dropped out and since then i just bounce around jobs with no qualifications like some kind of walking warning sign, retail, call centers, cleaning, a bakery once where i burned bread and somehow managed to annoy everyone, offices where i was told i was “not a good fit”, warehouses where they said i was too slow, and every time it ends the same way, polite meeting, fake smiles, “we’re not satisfied with your performance”, and me nodding like yeah sure makes sense, i never keep a job long enough to feel secure and i can’t even argue because deep down i know they’re right, i mess things up, forget stuff, misunderstand simple instructions, people say “it’s common sense” and i just stare at them like ok guess i missed that class, and now ten years later my cv looks like a joke and i don’t even bother lying anymore because what’s the point.
at home it’s not better and i don’t mean in a dramatic way, just facts, i suck at basic adult stuff, my kitchen skills are basically pasta and regret, everything i try to cook ends up bland or burned or both, i follow recipes and still mess them up like i’m actively trying to fail, my place is a mess most of the time, not hoarder level but enough that i avoid inviting people over, laundry piles, random papers, dust i keep ignoring, i tell myself i’ll clean on sunday and then sunday comes and i just scroll on my phone and feel tired for no clear reason, relationships are another disaster zone, i had a few boyfriends over the years, nothing long, nothing stable, they usually start nice and then they get bored or annoyed or say i’m distant or too negative, one literally told me “you don’t seem to like anything”, which hurt but also felt accurate, i don’t have some tragic breakup story, it’s more like slow fading and mutual relief, family is worse because there’s history and expectations, i don’t have a good relationship with anyone there, phone calls are awkward, visits are rare, and every conversation feels like a silent audit of my failures, job, love, money, everything, and i leave feeling smaller than before.
i’m not writing this to be dramatic or to fish for pity, it’s more like an inventory, when you lay it all out it’s kind of impressive how consistently bad i am at everything, work, love, home, family, even hobbies don’t stick, i start stuff and quit, gym, drawing, learning a language, all dead after a few weeks, people say “everyone has strengths” but i honestly don’t see mine, maybe being self aware, maybe being honest, or maybe that’s just another excuse, i read quotes like “failure is part of success” or “you just haven’t found your thing yet” and they sound nice but also empty when you’re ten years in and still lost, one therapist once said i should “reframe my narrative” and i nodded and never went back, because reframing doesn’t change the facts, i am bad at things and people notice, maybe i’m just average and expecting too much, or maybe i really do suck more than most, i don’t know, i keep asking myself and now i’m asking you, is there a point where you stop saying it’s bad luck and start admitting you’re the problem; how many chances does a person get before the pattern is just who they are?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
First, allow me to express my admiration for your candid introspection!!
The professional landscape is often daunting... yet remember that every setback is a step towards self-discovery. As someone who has juggled various roles myself, I've found that embracing each experience can lead to unexpected revelations about one's aptitude and inclinations :)
sounds like you're going through a rough patch. but hey, everyone has ups and downs, right? maybe you're just being too harsh on yourself. all those experiences could be stepping stones to something better down the line. sometimes it's about trying different things until one sticks. hang in there!
sounds like you’re really hard on yourself, but it’s important to remember that everyone’s journey is different. sometimes what feels like failure might just be a detour pointing you in a new direction. maybe taking some time to explore things without the pressure of them being "successful" could open up some new avenues—no one has it all figured out, despite what social media might suggest!
man, reading your story really resonates with a lot of folks out there, i reckon. it almost feels like you're on autopilot trying to meet these unwritten societal benchmarks; so many people feel that way and it's honestly exhausting. maybe instead of looking for strengths in the traditional sense, try leaning into what naturally grabs your attention – even if it doesn't "make sense" from an outside perspective? life ain't just about ticking boxes, right???
It is understandable that you feel frustrated with your current situation; however, it may be beneficial to reassess how you perceive success and failure. Often, the notion of success is subjective and influenced by external societal standards rather than personal fulfillment. Consider focusing on incremental improvements in areas that matter most to you rather than attempting to meet an arbitrary standard. Remember that skills can be developed over time with patience and perseverance 😊
perhaps this dilemma mirrors the 'imposter syndrome' many face in varied sectors—one might consider delving into cognitive restructuring techniques, as it appears akin to a deep-seated perceived incongruence between your capabilities and self-assessment; once at a conference on occupational psychology, an attendee mentioned how recognizing micro-achievements altered their trajectory, which seems insightful in light of your experiences.
hey, it's easy to feel stuck in a rut when things haven't gone the way you planned, but maybe you're just approaching this from the wrong angle; instead of worrying about being bad at stuff, maybe it’s time to look at what you actually enjoy doing, no matter how small or silly it seems. remember that “all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us” as gandalf said—life isn’t always about ticking boxes but finding those little moments of joy. keep searching and i’m sure you'll stumble upon something that clicks 😊
sometimes life feels like a never-ending loop of "meh", and it can really get you down — i get that 🤦♀️. but being aware of it is kinda cool, even if it doesn’t feel like much right now. maybe it's more about making peace with where you are than chasing some elusive sense of success 🏃♀️💨. focusing on small joys or moments each day can be surprisingly comforting, ya know? maybe ask yourself what genuinely makes you happy, or when was the last time you felt relaxed without expectations; rediscovering that might just shift things around, even if only a little bit at first!
it's tough feeling like you're constantly falling short, but perhaps redefining what success means for you could be a game changer. ever thought about the idea of "failing forward"? it's a concept that's big in entrepreneurial circles but applies to life too; every stumble is just data, information that tells you what doesn't work, not an indictment of your worth or potential. pivoting from job to job and experiencing different settings gives you a wide lens on the world that many don't get. perhaps consider writing down small victories each day—like keeping contact with family even if conversations are awkward—and see where those accumulate over time. remember albert einstein said, "in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." don't let society's expectations dictate your path 😊