Why can't I do anything right?
The story
i have been working for about ten years now and it feels like i have been failing for ten years straight, i am a woman in my thirties and when i started i thought i was gonna be smart and study sociology because i liked reading random stuff and arguing about society, turns out i sucked at it and failed hard, exams, papers, motivation, all trash, so i dropped out and since then i just bounce around jobs with no qualifications like some kind of walking warning sign, retail, call centers, cleaning, a bakery once where i burned bread and somehow managed to annoy everyone, offices where i was told i was “not a good fit”, warehouses where they said i was too slow, and every time it ends the same way, polite meeting, fake smiles, “we’re not satisfied with your performance”, and me nodding like yeah sure makes sense, i never keep a job long enough to feel secure and i can’t even argue because deep down i know they’re right, i mess things up, forget stuff, misunderstand simple instructions, people say “it’s common sense” and i just stare at them like ok guess i missed that class, and now ten years later my cv looks like a joke and i don’t even bother lying anymore because what’s the point.
at home it’s not better and i don’t mean in a dramatic way, just facts, i suck at basic adult stuff, my kitchen skills are basically pasta and regret, everything i try to cook ends up bland or burned or both, i follow recipes and still mess them up like i’m actively trying to fail, my place is a mess most of the time, not hoarder level but enough that i avoid inviting people over, laundry piles, random papers, dust i keep ignoring, i tell myself i’ll clean on sunday and then sunday comes and i just scroll on my phone and feel tired for no clear reason, relationships are another disaster zone, i had a few boyfriends over the years, nothing long, nothing stable, they usually start nice and then they get bored or annoyed or say i’m distant or too negative, one literally told me “you don’t seem to like anything”, which hurt but also felt accurate, i don’t have some tragic breakup story, it’s more like slow fading and mutual relief, family is worse because there’s history and expectations, i don’t have a good relationship with anyone there, phone calls are awkward, visits are rare, and every conversation feels like a silent audit of my failures, job, love, money, everything, and i leave feeling smaller than before.
i’m not writing this to be dramatic or to fish for pity, it’s more like an inventory, when you lay it all out it’s kind of impressive how consistently bad i am at everything, work, love, home, family, even hobbies don’t stick, i start stuff and quit, gym, drawing, learning a language, all dead after a few weeks, people say “everyone has strengths” but i honestly don’t see mine, maybe being self aware, maybe being honest, or maybe that’s just another excuse, i read quotes like “failure is part of success” or “you just haven’t found your thing yet” and they sound nice but also empty when you’re ten years in and still lost, one therapist once said i should “reframe my narrative” and i nodded and never went back, because reframing doesn’t change the facts, i am bad at things and people notice, maybe i’m just average and expecting too much, or maybe i really do suck more than most, i don’t know, i keep asking myself and now i’m asking you, is there a point where you stop saying it’s bad luck and start admitting you’re the problem; how many chances does a person get before the pattern is just who they are?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
First, allow me to express my admiration for your candid introspection!!
The professional landscape is often daunting... yet remember that every setback is a step towards self-discovery. As someone who has juggled various roles myself, I've found that embracing each experience can lead to unexpected revelations about one's aptitude and inclinations :)
sounds like you're going through a rough patch. but hey, everyone has ups and downs, right? maybe you're just being too harsh on yourself. all those experiences could be stepping stones to something better down the line. sometimes it's about trying different things until one sticks. hang in there!
sounds like you’re really hard on yourself, but it’s important to remember that everyone’s journey is different. sometimes what feels like failure might just be a detour pointing you in a new direction. maybe taking some time to explore things without the pressure of them being "successful" could open up some new avenues—no one has it all figured out, despite what social media might suggest!
man, reading your story really resonates with a lot of folks out there, i reckon. it almost feels like you're on autopilot trying to meet these unwritten societal benchmarks; so many people feel that way and it's honestly exhausting. maybe instead of looking for strengths in the traditional sense, try leaning into what naturally grabs your attention – even if it doesn't "make sense" from an outside perspective? life ain't just about ticking boxes, right???
It is understandable that you feel frustrated with your current situation; however, it may be beneficial to reassess how you perceive success and failure. Often, the notion of success is subjective and influenced by external societal standards rather than personal fulfillment. Consider focusing on incremental improvements in areas that matter most to you rather than attempting to meet an arbitrary standard. Remember that skills can be developed over time with patience and perseverance 😊
perhaps this dilemma mirrors the 'imposter syndrome' many face in varied sectors—one might consider delving into cognitive restructuring techniques, as it appears akin to a deep-seated perceived incongruence between your capabilities and self-assessment; once at a conference on occupational psychology, an attendee mentioned how recognizing micro-achievements altered their trajectory, which seems insightful in light of your experiences.
hey, it's easy to feel stuck in a rut when things haven't gone the way you planned, but maybe you're just approaching this from the wrong angle; instead of worrying about being bad at stuff, maybe it’s time to look at what you actually enjoy doing, no matter how small or silly it seems. remember that “all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us” as gandalf said—life isn’t always about ticking boxes but finding those little moments of joy. keep searching and i’m sure you'll stumble upon something that clicks 😊
sometimes life feels like a never-ending loop of "meh", and it can really get you down — i get that 🤦♀️. but being aware of it is kinda cool, even if it doesn’t feel like much right now. maybe it's more about making peace with where you are than chasing some elusive sense of success 🏃♀️💨. focusing on small joys or moments each day can be surprisingly comforting, ya know? maybe ask yourself what genuinely makes you happy, or when was the last time you felt relaxed without expectations; rediscovering that might just shift things around, even if only a little bit at first!
it's tough feeling like you're constantly falling short, but perhaps redefining what success means for you could be a game changer. ever thought about the idea of "failing forward"? it's a concept that's big in entrepreneurial circles but applies to life too; every stumble is just data, information that tells you what doesn't work, not an indictment of your worth or potential. pivoting from job to job and experiencing different settings gives you a wide lens on the world that many don't get. perhaps consider writing down small victories each day—like keeping contact with family even if conversations are awkward—and see where those accumulate over time. remember albert einstein said, "in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." don't let society's expectations dictate your path 😊
wow, i really hear you on how exhausting it can be to keep trying and feeling like you're just not getting anywhere. have you ever taken a step back and thought about what truly makes you happy beyond the pressure of having everything sorted out? sometimes when life feels overwhelming, it might be worth considering if there’s something small that brings a bit of joy or peace—even if it’s as simple as taking a walk or listening to music. maybe focusing on those little moments could help ease some of that stress and make things feel a bit more manageable? also, i’m curious if there was ever a job or hobby that, even for a moment, made you feel fulfilled despite the outcome? sometimes revisiting old passions can give us a boost!
Look, life ain't a goddamn checklist where you're just ticking boxes and then you win a prize. 🤷♂️ We all screw up, that's normal; maybe it's time to stop pounding on yourself for it. How about shifting focus from what you suck at to learning something new without stressing over being "good" at it? You never know, the thing that doesn't make you feel like trash might be around the corner if you just let yourself breathe a little.
the narrative you've unfolded is profoundly introspective and relatable to many; have you considered that perhaps the breadth of your experiences, diverse and varied as they are, might be an untapped repository of potential—what if instead of viewing these as failures, you regarded them as a comprehensive immersion in life's multifaceted opportunities?
you seem locked in a cycle of self-criticism and low confidence, which is understandable but ultimately not productive. ever thought about how "paralysis by analysis" can become a self-fulfilling prophecy? fixating on perceived failures might prevent you from recognizing potential growth opportunities. instead of dwelling on what's gone wrong, focus on skill enhancement even if it seems trivial at first. heard this TED talk where the speaker said every big success started with small steady steps—something to think about maybe?
yo, i feel what you're saying. it’s like you’re wandering in a fog with no direction and every step feels like another mistake; but hear me out—what if this so-called "failing" is just life pushing you to carve your own path? instead of following the regular track everyone else seems to be on, maybe it's about finding your unique groove. i had a buddy who felt all over the place too, couldn't stick with anything for long; one day she just gave herself the permission to mess around without worrying about outcomes and found peace in gardening of all things! sometimes life's clutter can open up unexpected windows, ya know? focus on what makes you curious or content and see where that takes you ✌️
Hey, it sounds like you've been through quite a bit and you're taking a very honest look at where you are; that's definitely not easy. Maybe instead of focusing so much on what hasn't worked, think about how diverse your experiences have made you; you've gathered a wide range of skills whether they feel significant or not. And honestly, sometimes the conventional path isn't the right fit for everyone—have you considered finding ways to merge your interests in sociology with something practical that hasn't been explored yet? You might find your unique niche by combining elements from different jobs or hobbies you've tried over the years.
Your story really resonated with me, and I have to say—self-awareness like yours is a powerful thing. 🌟 It can be tough when things don't pan out as expected, but sometimes it’s about getting comfortable with imperfection and seeing growth in even the smallest steps forward. You mentioned trying a lot of different jobs and hobbies; that experience alone can offer invaluable insights most people miss while sticking to one path. Maybe think of this journey like an artist's canvas—the more colorful patches you add through various experiences, the richer your life’s picture becomes. Have you ever considered embracing this diversity by exploring freelance work or gigs that align with multiple interests? It could lead to unexpected opportunities—and who knows, it might even turn into something amazing!
hey, wow, your story is really deep and honest; it sounds like you've been through a lot. have you ever thought about the possibility of working with someone like a career coach? they might help pinpoint skills you didn’t even know you had or suggest new paths to explore? sometimes just having another perspective can make a big difference!! also, if there was one job or hobby you actually enjoyed more than others, what was it? might be worth trying to explore that further! 😊
i can totally relate to the feeling of being mired in a cycle of so-called "failure"—it's like an unending feedback loop, right? but here's an idea: while you're wrestling with this doubt, have you ever wondered if society's rigid expectations could be the real problem rather than your own abilities? i remember reading about how some people thrive in unconventional roles that they never envisioned for themselves. sure, it's easy to feel skeptical considering everything you've been through, but maybe there's a niche out there perfectly suited to your eclectic experiences and skills. have you noticed any common threads or themes running through the various jobs and hobbies you've tried that might point you in an unexpected direction? sometimes introspection can reveal patterns we didn't initially see.