why do i feel like a failure?
The story
I wake up every day and look in the mirror, hoping for some sort of miracle to happen overnight. I still see the same tired eyes staring back at me. At 48, I thought I would be in a much better place in my career. Instead, I find myself stuck in a role that feels beneath my capabilities. I’ve always been a driven person, but lately, I feel like I'm just going through the motions. Sometimes I wonder if I’m even meant to be in this industry anymore. There was a time when I felt passionate about my work, but that fire has dimmed and it's scary to think that I might not be able to rekindle it.
My colleagues are mostly supportive, yet I often catch them rolling their eyes at my ideas in meetings. It stings. I pour my heart into every proposal, only to have them brushed aside without much thought. I find myself hesitating more and more to speak up, fearing that my voice doesn't carry the weight it used to. I question whether I’m bringing value to the team or if I’m just a relic of the past, clinging on to a role that doesn’t need me anymore. And that thought – the one where I picture myself as an unnecessary part of the equation – eats away at me. Should I swallow my pride and look for something new, or am I just being dramatic? How do you even know when it’s time to leave versus when it’s time to fight for your place?
Then there’s the ever-watchful comparison to my peers. Some of them were in the same position as me just a few years back, but now they’ve shot up the ladder like rockets. Promotions, raises, moving to other companies that seem to value their hard work while I’m still here, stuck in the same spot. I sometimes hear whispers about how I'm "overqualified" for my job, which feels like a backhanded compliment. On one hand, it’s nice to know people recognize my potential; on the other hand, what does that say about my current situation? Why am I not progressing? I wonder all the time if my age is catching up with me. Are younger, more energetic employees overshadowing me? Shouldn’t my experience count for something? But instead of naming my strengths, I focus more on my weaknesses, and that seems to cloud my judgment more than ever.
I had a performance review recently that only compounded my feelings of inadequacy. My manager acknowledged some of the projects I handled but stated I need to show more “initiative.” The word rings in my ears like a haunting reminder that I’m not doing enough. Instead of using it as motivation, I turned it against myself and have been replaying that moment in my head in an endless loop. “Why can’t I be more proactive?” I ask myself. “Why can’t I seem to innovate?” I left that meeting feeling like a shadow of the ambitious woman I once was. Have I become complacent? Or have the challenges of my personal life drained my energy to push forward at work? I’m constantly torn between wanting to be a high achiever and wrestling against feelings of being overwhelmed. How do you work through that? It's hard not to spiral into self-doubt when it feels like you're not reaching your full potential. I want to change the narrative, but where do I even start?

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Points of view
hey, i can totally feel where you're coming from; i swear, i've been in a similar spot too, and it's tough! it's like you get stuck in that never-ending loop of self-doubt and questioning everything; i've had times where i just stare at my screen, wondering if any of it makes sense anymore 🤔 i've been in jobs where i felt like i was just another cog, and it's a real downer, you know? people always talk about taking initiative, but when you're just drained, it's not that easy, right??? i think experience should count for something, but it doesn't feel like that when others are moving up so fast; the whole work-life balance is such a struggle sometimes!!! hope you find the spark again!
I completely understand the feelings you're expressing, and I empathize with the internal conflict you’re experiencing. It’s truly challenging to feel stuck in a role that no longer ignites your passion, especially when you see your peers advancing in their careers. I too have been in a situation where I felt like my hard work wasn’t being recognized, and it can be incredibly disheartening. 😞 However, it's important to remember that your wealth of experience brings immense value, even if it doesn't seem evident right now. Sometimes, it takes stepping back and reassessing our goals to find renewed inspiration. I believe that focusing on incremental improvements and exploring new opportunities could potentially reignite your zeal for your work. Keep your chin up; you have the capability to change the narrative and overcome these challenges.
wow, i totally get where you're at; it's tough when your job feels like it's draining you instead of fulfilling you; been there, done that! i know it's not easy trying to keep up with all those younger employees who seem to have so much energy and enthusiasm??? but remember that experience and institutional knowledge you bring to the table can’t be overlooked; i was once told to "show more initiative" too, and it's really frustrating!! kind of makes you doubt if the hard work's even worth it? just hang in there—sometimes stepping back a bit can help you see things in a new light. trust that you're doing your best.💼
Maybe you're being too hard on yourself 🤔. i mean, we all go through phases where our jobs just don't feel exciting anymore, but that doesn’t always mean it’s time to jump ship; have you tried chatting with your manager about new projects that interest you? i once felt kind of stuck too, and a mentor told me, "sometimes you gotta create your own opportunities!" it’s easy to doubt yourself when everyone around seems to be racing ahead, but remember, success isn’t always a straight climb! have you thought about what exactly makes you hesitate to speak up in meetings? maybe focusing on one small step at a time could help you regain some confidence and clarity 🙂.
dude, i totally get what's bugging you; feeling stuck in a dead-end job where people don't value your ideas is the worst! it's like they expect you to innovate, but then dismiss everything you say—what a joke, right? 😂 when the boss throws around buzzwords like "initiative" without helping you out, it's super frustrating! it's like, come on, give me some real feedback instead of playing the blame game. "the more meetings we have, the less gets done" – ever heard that one? so true! your experience should matter, but they just don't see it. stick to your guns and maybe look at what you really want long-term; this place might not be it.
I get how frustrating it must be to feel stuck and undervalued, but maybe it's worth considering a different perspective. When you mention feeling like your ideas aren't appreciated, have you thought about why that might be? Sometimes, it’s not just about the quality of ideas but how they're presented. I once heard that "success relies heavily on communication"—could that be part of it? It’s pretty common to hit a rough patch mid-career, but maybe this could be more about internal growth rather than external validation. Could stepping back and evaluating personal goals help clarify whether this is truly about the job or something more?
i totally hear you, and i completely agree with where you're coming from. it's tough feeling like your career hasn’t evolved the way you imagined, especially when you’ve put your heart into it. "it’s not about the destination, it's about the journey," as they say, but sometimes the journey is just downright exhausting, right? i’ve been in positions where my ideas felt sidelined, and it’s such a blow to your motivation. makes you question everything you thought you knew about your strengths. what's helped me is focusing on small wins, things that remind me why i loved my field in the first place. maybe revisiting what initially ignited your passion could help you find a new angle or opportunity to breathe life back into your work? it’s a journey we’re all on; staying open to new ways of doing things can sometimes bring about unexpected and positive change.
man, i get what you're saying, and it’s hard not to feel like you're just treading water in your career, especially when energy’s low and motivation’s even lower; it's like that saying, "the grass is always greener on the other side," but it doesn't always mean you need to jump the fence. i know how tough it can be when your contributions seem to go unnoticed, but have you thought about what specific part of your job you actually find rewarding or enjoyable? maybe zeroing in on what makes you tick could offer a new perspective. sometimes a slight shift in focus can reignite that spark. are there any projects or tasks that, deep down, still excite you? exploring that might be a step toward clarity!
I understand where you're coming from, but perhaps you're being a bit too hard on yourself. 🤔 From what you’ve described about your interactions with colleagues, could it be more about differing perspectives rather than a lack of respect for your ideas? In my experience, the feedback you receive, like when your manager mentioned "initiative," might not solely be about your current performance; it could be an opportunity for growth. I once felt stagnant in my career until I looked at feedback as a chance for professional development. Could it be beneficial to approach this as a stepping stone rather than a setback??? It's possible that by embracing this challenge, you may discover new opportunities you hadn’t considered before!
wow, i completely get it, and you're spot on with how maddening it can be when your hard work feels like it's going nowhere!!! 😤 i've been in that same boat where it seems like no matter how much effort you put in, the recognition just doesn't come. it's absolutely infuriating, especially when those "suggestions" from management feel more like empty platitudes than actual guidance. i mean, seriously, why is it always about "showing more initiative" when we're giving it our all already??? but hey, maybe it's time to focus on what makes YOU happy in your career; have you thought about what might reignite your passion? ultimately, your happiness is what really matters, right? 😊