Today, I experienced something I feel compelled to share, but let me provide some backdrop first. A while back, doctors diagnosed my mom, in her sixties, with a brain tumor that wasn’t causing her distress at the time. It was accidentally discovered during a check-up for a different issue. The doctors decided to monitor it rather than conducting invasive procedures.

Fast forward to the present, the tumor has gotten bigger. Mom's doctors are suggesting surgery to remove it and carry out further tests. Naturally, my mom is terrified about the operation and keeps wavering on her decision.

I relayed this situation to my husband, who's 35 like me. We've purposely kept our daughter, who's four, in the dark about her grandma's condition, so I spoke to him in private. It's important to know that my husband strongly favors natural remedies and believes people should address the root causes of their health problems. While I agree that medicine or surgery isn't always necessary—having managed my own anxiety and depression through lifestyle adjustments—his views can be a bit extreme for me.

Previously, when my sister was dealing with thyroid cancer, he attributed it to her stress levels and recommended meditation.

He gave a similar response when my dad needed urgent care for internal bleeding.

And once, when I had severe chest pain and had to rush to the ER—where I later found out I needed more tests—he insisted it was just anxiety and didn't accompany me.

When we found out our daughter had allergies and needed medication, he argued it was because she didn't spend enough time outdoors, claiming codependency could trigger respiratory issues.

Discussing my mom’s current medical issue, he suggested that breathwork could cure brain cancer and expressed that if he were in her shoes, he'd avoid surgery or medication and focus on lifestyle changes that might have led to the illness.

I requested him not to share these views with my mom and to instead offer me support. I wanted to know if he thought I was okay or if he could provide me emotional backing. He replied that he couldn’t support me while I disregarded his treatment ideas. Frustrated, I cut off the conversation.

Am I being unreasonable for asking him not to impose his unsolicited holistic treatments on my mom or to refrain from sharing those views with me? Please note, I’ve never asked for his medical opinions in the past, only for his emotional support.

Imagine if I were on some reality show discussing this—I bet the audience would be gasping and taking sides! Some might cheer for holistic approaches, while others would probably empathize with the need for emotional support during tough times. The scene would get heated, prompting all sorts of reactions from shock to support to disbelief!

What should I do about my husband's unsolicited advice?

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