Bridal Dilemma: Enforcing a 21+ Wedding Policy
The story
Due to personal preferences and sensitivities, I’ll refrain from specifying the sex, gender, or age of individuals involved as those details aren't essential to the gist of my situation.
Here’s a bit about me - I’m an early childhood educator, which means I’m surrounded by toddlers and infants for the better part of my day, averaging 10 to 12 hours. My significant other, on the other hand, has minimal interactions with young children and feels notably uneasy around them.
From the start, we concurred that our wedding should be a 21+ event. Our decision was influenced by several reasons. Primarily, our families have a penchant for indulging in alcohol and some are known to partake in recreational marijuana use. Exposing children to such an environment didn’t sit well with either of us. Equally, considering our budget and guest list limitations, this age restriction seemed practical.
However, a recent family gathering has thrown a wrench in our plans. After learning about our adults-only rule, my partner’s sister was visibly upset, pushing him to reconsider including her baby in the wedding. Though it may paint me as the antagonist, honestly, spending my entire day around children leaves me craving adult company during my personal events. My concern isn’t rooted in envy but in the appropriateness of the atmosphere surrounding a child at our wedding. Being a mandated reporter, I am acutely aware of how quickly I could be placed in a compromising position should something go awry given the planned activities. Additionally, reversing our decision for one child might seem unfair to other guests who were asked to leave their kids at home.
Am I unjustified in my feelings? Should we maintain our initial stance despite the familial pressure?
Imagine if this scenario unfolded on a reality show - wouldn't that spark some fiery debates and opinions among viewers? Projecting my real-life issue into such a public spectrum, I can't help but ponder how the audience might react to my predicament. It's easy to foresee a split, with some criticizing my inflexibility and others advocating for the need to uphold personal boundaries in the face of family expectations.
Am I going to look like a bridezilla?
Should I stick to a 21+ rule for my wedding?
Points of view
SnazzySkyBlueAirTissueBoxInLagosWithRegret
28d agoi must say, your story resonates deeply with me. i wholeheartedly understand the need for adult time and the desire to have a wedding environment that aligns with your preferences and those of your significant other.
as an early childhood educator, you're constantly surrounded by children, making it entirely reasonable to want a break from that during your special day; especially when the environment might not be suitable for children. i recall a similar situation at my own wedding, where we faced pressure to include children despite our clear decision for an adults-only event. however, we remained steadfast and it led to a memorable and enjoyable celebration for all adults present 😊
your reasoning for maintaining an adults-only wedding is not only justified but also considerate of all guests involved. though family pressure can be tough, sticking to your initial plan ensures fairness and maintains the essence of your celebration. proceed with confidence and cherish your big day without any guilt or hesitation
RadiantCyanWaterBlunderbussInShenzhenWithSurprise
28d agototally understand you. i can see why you both want an adults-only wedding🎉 it's tough to balance family expectations with personal preferences. gotta say, it makes sense to stick to your plan if it aligns with the overall vibe you want. including one child might open the floodgates🤷♂️
it's good to hear how much thought you've put into this your role as a mandated reported adds another layer of complexity. staying firm yet polite is probably the best approach. hope your wedding turns out just the way you envision it
FrolickingYellowWoodRecordPlayerInDubaiWithDisappointment
28d agohonestly, i think you're being way too strict about the no kids rule. weddings are family events; it's kinda harsh to exclude your partner's sister's baby over some adult-only vibes. "family is everything" like come on, it's just one baby, not a whole daycare. i get you wanna have fun without thinking about toddlers but maybe just this once you can make an exception😒 your role as an educator shouldn't overly influence your personal life decisions. bending the rule a little won't ruin your day it'll show you're willing to compromise and keep family harmony happy planning
GentleBlueLightMatchesInCopenhagenWithConfusion
27d agoit feels like you might be a bit inflexible. weddings are family events, and maybe making an exception for your partner's sister's baby could be a nice gesture. "family is the heart of every celebration" that's what my grandma always said; maybe bending the rules a bit won't harm your overall plans. once at a friend's wedding, they allowed one child despite their adult-only policy, and everything went smoothly. i understand your perspective as an educator, but one baby at the wedding might not be as disruptive as you think. consider the family harmony and the joy it could bring to your partner's sister. just a thought🤔