Hausbands Voice

Hey there, I get where you’re coming from, and it sounds like a tough spot to be in; honestly, it reminds me a bit of the way my uncle used to communicate. Everyone has their own way of expressing things, and maybe there's a bigger picture here you're not seeing. It might help if you try a different approach to communicate with him, like giving him space to open up at his own pace. Back in the day, I found that sometimes just sitting down for a heart-to-heart can soften that staccato tone and break down walls. It’s like unraveling a tangle, it takes time and patience, but sometimes you pull one thread and the rest follows. Your son, he's just reacting to all of this the only way he knows how; teenagers, you know how they are, always dealing with a storm of emotions. Maybe setting up some family time or a casual outing could help everyone relax and let things flow more naturally. Keep your chin up—families have a way of working these things out over time.

doesn't seem fair to pin all the blame on your husband for the vibes at home. maybe your hubby isn't really angry but just sounds like it?! 🤔 ever thought it's his way of dealing with stress or something? that "no it’s ok" could be his sign of not wanting to dive into whatever's bothering him at the moment; using that tone with your kid might not be cool, but kids pick up on stuff at home too, right?! they're like little mirrors reflecting everything back. kinda feels like this needs a different angle where everyone chats openly or something instead of digging around for answers. gotta take family dynamics into account, even if it feels off.

Just to give some context: His way of speaking to others has changed throughout the 2 decades we have been together. It is not related to stress or other family dynamics. Though our son is a full blown teenager in general we entertain a peaceful atmosphere at home. When he is teenager-grumpy I address his tone in a calm way, explain how I feel when he speaks to me that way and we can clear things. Also I approach my teenager respectfully, asking him politely when I want him to do something and also thank him afterwards. The same way I communicate with hubby.

My husband on the orher hand usually starts with a snarky tone, commands and orders. Of course my son reacts to the voice not the content. Which is absolutely his right. I wouldn’t let anyone talk to me that way either! Result is some negative vibes and I always find myself calming down and negogiating Peace.

Yes! I told my husband several times in a constructive way how his communication style affects others. I never did this in the heat of the Moment, and I always show understanding for his point of view, eg „Yes, our son behaved inappropriately and it was good to talk to him, but his reaction was due to your tone. He accepted being scolded for his behavior, but he had a hard time, tolerating the way you presented it, loud, harsh and using absolute wording like „always or never“. Try using a better communication style next time as you want to bring your point home. I‘ll be a win for all.“

Hubby agrees, 1 hour later the same thing happens.

While going through menopause I also had phases when the hormones got the best of me and I spoke harshly. Hubby confronted me directly, saying: You are being unpleasant!

I heard him and worked on me, striving to do better.

Now, some years later, it is him, but he Shows no will to learn and change. I am fed up being the receiver of harsh tones and being the one in the middle .

I feel you, but honestly, maybe there's more to it than just anger issues? Ever thought it might be a habit rather than actual anger?🤔 My cousin always sounds like he's furious, but he's really just got that tone. The whole "I'm fine" might be his way of dealing with stuff he doesn't know how to express yet; reminds me of that phrase, "reading between the lines." Your son picking up on this is pretty normal for a teen, they tend to mirror adults around them. Not sure if stepping back a bit could give you and the fam some fresh perspective, but just a thought.

I completely understand your frustration, and I empathize with your situation. It can be incredibly challenging to deal with communication barriers within a family dynamic. 💔 The fact that your husband speaks in an angry tone might be impacting the household's emotional equilibrium. It seems crucial to establish a more harmonious communication framework, one where transparency and open dialogue are prioritized. Importantly, this could greatly benefit your son as well, promoting a more positive familial atmosphere. 😊 There is hope in addressing these issues, perhaps by exploring some conflict resolution techniques or interpersonal strategies. Wishing you the best in navigating this situation.

it seems like there might be underlying factors contributing to your husband's tone that the narrative doesn’t fully explore; could it be that stress, work-related pressures, or other unresolved issues are manifesting as anger, perhaps unintentionally? his lack of immediate communication is clearly a point of contention, yet it’s possible that he doesn’t even realize how his tone affects others?! your son's reaction, while understandable, might exacerbate the situation, creating an ongoing feedback loop. maybe, instead of digging deeply right away, could there be a gentler approach that might encourage him to open up more naturally? communication dynamics can be complex, and sometimes what appears to be anger is really masking other emotions. it's important to consider these possibilities, even though it may feel frustrating.

dude, totally understand where you're coming from. your husband's tone sounds hella frustrating, especially if it's affecting your son 😒. it's like, you ask him what's wrong and you get that "no it’s ok" routine. like, seriously? communication is key, man. pretty important to address the emotional quotient in the household, else things might get wild. maybe sit down and have a chill convo to clear the air. things can change, vibes can get better. hang in there, it’ll get sorted! 😊

Your frustration is entirely understandable, and I empathize with your situation. It must be incredibly challenging to manage an environment where communication breaks down. 😊 The "no, it’s ok" response can be really disheartening. It’s vital to foster a constructive dialogue in the family. Encouraging open and honest communication might help improve the emotional climate at home. As they say, "communication is key." Progress may be slow, but with patience and understanding, things can definitely improve. Wishing you all the best in navigating this!

sounds like maybe there’s another side to this story. ever thought about what's goin’ on with your husband that makes him sound so angry all the time? 🤔 my sister used to have this weird tone, and turns out, she was just stressed from work. maybe your hubby's got stuff bottled up that he isn't ready to spill. your son reacting is pretty normal too, but that might be making things more intense. i think maybe if you try to talk it out in a more relaxed setting, it might help clear things up. sometimes a heart-to-heart can change the whole vibe at home. just my two cents, hoping things get better for you all.

i get what you're saying and totally agree with how frustrating that must be!!!! it's tough to deal with someone who speaks in such a loud, staccato tone all the time; especially when it's directed at your 15-year-old son. 😔 sometimes it feels like pulling teeth just to find out what’s really going on when they repeatedly say, "no it’s ok," right?? in my experience, open communication is important, and it seems like it’s not happening here. do you think he'd be willing to engage in a family conversation where everyone can voice their feelings??? sometimes just creating a safe space for sharing can make a big difference. i hope things improve for you all.

i totally get where you're coming from and can see how that would be super frustrating. it reminds me of when my dad used to communicate in a similar way, with that staccato tone that made everything feel tense. when someone is constantly saying "no, it’s ok," it can be really draining, because instead of helping, it builds up this wall that leaves everyone feeling stuck. it seems like your son's reaction might be him mirroring the frustration and confusion he's experiencing. in my family, we had to find effective ways to talk about our feelings, so no one's left guessing or feeling off. maybe approaching him in a calm setting could encourage honesty and open the door to better communication for everyone involved. best of luck with everything; it sounds like you're a caring person trying to find a solution.