How to break up with someone???
The story
Okay so I’ve been stressing about this for weeks now and I still don’t know what to do. How to break up with someone without completely crushing them?? Cuz no matter how I think about it, it’s gonna hurt, right?? I mean, he’s not a bad guy or anything, he’s actually really sweet and treats me well, but I just don’t feel it anymore. And that’s the worst part, cuz I can’t even give him a “real” reason other than I just... don’t want this anymore. Like, how do you tell someone who still loves you that you’re just done?? Every time I try to bring it up, I freeze or change the subject cuz I see the way he looks at me, like I’m his whole world, and I just can’t be the one to take that away from him. But at the same time, staying in this relationship just cuz I’m scared of hurting him is NOT fair, not to him and def not to me. I thought about doing it over text but that feels way too cold, and in person is just gonna be so awkward, I know he’s gonna ask why and what changed and I don’t even have a good answer. Should I just rip the bandaid off and say “Hey, I think we should break up” or do I soften it with “I still care about you but I don’t see this working long term”?? UGH it’s all so freaking complicated. I wish there was a way to do this without feeling like the worst person on earth but I know there’s not. And I know dragging it out is just making it worse, but every time I tell myself “okay, today’s the day,” I chicken out. Maybe there’s never a right way, maybe you just have to be honest and hope they understand. But what if he doesn’t?? What if he cries or worse, gets mad?? I just don’t wanna hurt him but I know staying is just lying at this point. Guess I just have to do it and deal with whatever happens after... god, why is this so hard??
Stories in the same category
Points of view
you know, breakups are NEVER easy :)
Yes, indeed...
honestly, i get where you're coming from, completely; breakups suck, especially when there's no big, dramatic reason for it!!! you don't want to hurt the guy, and that's totally normal... feelings change, and that's part of the human experience; but, trying to keep it together just 'cause you don't wanna be the "bad guy" ain't fair to either of you!!! ripping off the bandaid is probably better than dragging it out... you don't owe anyone a detailed powerpoint presentation on why you're done; it’s enough to say you don't feel it anymore... sure, there's no magical way to avoid some pain, but being honest is the least painful way in the long run. staying in a relationship for the sake of the other person's feelings is not a sustainable strategy in relationship dynamics... at the end of the day, you gotta do what's right for both of you, even if it means facing some tears or anger along the way; honesty really is the best policy, and you might be surprised at how resilient people can be. 🌟
I get that you're in a tough spot, but I gotta say, maybe you're making it harder than it needs to be. Relationships are all about honesty, even when it's tough. I once heard someone say, "The truth will set you free," and in this case, it really applies. From personal experience, keeping things inside only makes it worse for both people involved. I once had to break up with someone and dreaded it, but once I was truthful, we both started to heal quicker.
You're worried about hurting him, but staying in something that doesn't feel right isn't fair to either of you; honesty is actually a form of kindness. It might hurt at first, but in the long run, you're giving both of you a chance to find what truly makes you happy. Keep it real and compassionate—things have a way of working out. 🌼
totally get what you're saying—breaking up ain't easy, especially when there's nothing "wrong" with the person. feelings change, and you can't fake that. it's like someone once said, "sometimes love just ain't enough." sticking around just 'cause you feel bad for him is a lose-lose situation; it's not gonna do either of you any favors. sure, it's gonna sting at first, but honesty really is the best policy, man. rip that bandaid off and give both of you the chance to find something real. trust me, you'll both be better off in the long run. 🌟
i understand your dilemma but i think0 you might be overcomplicating the situation...
HypnoticEmeraldFirePliersInBrusselsWithPeace
3d agoI also think that :)
I don't think
SurrealTanAirTautologyInCaracasWithAnger
9d agoSorry I accidentally sent it. But I dont think you're complicating it at all. I'm kind of In a similar boat. I just don't feel the same. But I can't break up with him. Like I tried to in October 2024 but he said he'll change things and he can't lose me. And I said okay eventually. But I hate hurting him cuz his family isn't so great to him. And he tells me that he's so glad to have me. Also a good person. But we don't align on certain things. And idk if I should just stick it through and hope I won't feel the same or what else. Because we have fun and good moments but I feel so unsure and sad.
I'm probably not a good person to suggest but maybe try writing a letter. It'll help you get your thoughts out. Eventually you can give him a letter and be with him when he reads it or you can use the letter to talk to him
Thx 🥰
just send a text 🤣
i absolutely understand where you're coming from,,,, the emotional turmoil you're experiencing is palpable,,,!!! relationships,,,, as intricate tapestries of emotions and experiences,,,, inevitably evolve over time,,,,, feelings may shift without a tangible reason,,,, leaving one feeling a sense of bewilderment!!!!! the scenario you describe is undeniably complex,,,!!!; your concern for his feelings illustrates a deep-seated compassion,,,, and such empathy is commendable,,,, empathy,,, however,,, should not become a constraint preventing honest communication!!!!! i once faced a similar predicament,,,, and that experience taught me that proceeding with clarity and integrity can indeed be a catalyst for mutual growth,,,, everyone deserves to be in a relationship where both parties are mutually invested,,,,!!! but extracting oneself gracefully from an emotional entanglement,,,, though challenging,,, can ultimately prove liberating and benevolent for all involved 😊😊😊