Relationship Struggles
The story
I’m really needing to vent about my current relationship. We’ve been together for 2.5 years now, living together for 1.5 years. I am starting to lose hope in our relationship. When we first started dating we agreed to get engaged around 3 years together. He promised me he wouldn’t make me wait that long, 2.5 years at max. Well now we are at that mark and he hasn’t done anything to move it along. Ive mentioned it to him numerous times and I genuinely feel like if we make it to year 3 without that commitment then I’m throwing in the towel. At least moving out, if not completely ending the relationship. We are in our 30s and I have fertility issues as is. We are both steady in our careers and our families love us together and get along great. We have some money saved up as well. I want to have kids within the next 3 years and he says he does too. Additionally, my mother passed away five years ago and my father is passing from dementia. It would mean the world to me for my dad to at least be there when I’m engaged, which I have expressed to my partner. At this point it seems we’re on different pages. I really don’t want to start over with someone new but I feel like we don’t have the same priorities and it’s becoming so exhausting. I’m really looking for some advice because I feel so helpless…
Do I stay?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Man, that's a tough spot to be in; it's like you're pouring all this emotional investment into a relationship and he's still flipping through the engagement brochure 🙄 It's beyond frustrating when you're both supposed to be on the same page but he’s stuck in another book altogether. You've laid it all out there for him (your timeline, your family situation, your future aspirations) and if he can't meet you where you've already set those expectations, maybe he needs a wake-up call or something; Life's too short to wait around for someone who isn't giving clear signals about commitment. I've been there myself, thinking "maybe it'll get better," and then years fly by with no progress. Sounds like it's time to have a real heart-to-heart with him before you hit that year-three mark and decide whether staying is worth continually banging your head against that wall.
wow, that's definitely a rough place to be in; it's like you're ready to take the next step but he's dragging his feet or something 🤔 given everything you've shared about your family situation and future plans, it sounds like you’ve been quite clear about where you stand. maybe it's time for him to reflect on whether he's ready for those commitments, too; taking that step back could help both of you figure out if you're truly aligned long-term. honestly, don't shortchange yourself if things aren't moving forward as planned when life is so fleeting.
It seems you're caught in a dilemma, waiting for him to make that pivotal move while time isn't exactly on your side due to your personal circumstances. With the emotional weight of wanting your father to witness such an important milestone and your plans for children, it's perplexing why he hasn't taken initiative already! Maybe there's more beneath the surface here; perhaps he's wrestling with inner uncertainties or commitment fears that he's not vocalizing. You might want to sit down and get straight to the point, discussing not just timelines but what’s holding him back because waiting indefinitely isn’t fair when you've both verbally committed... which is pointless if it stays just words. 🤨