Revealing My Girlfriend's Beliefs to Her Mom: Did I Overstep?
The story
My girlfriend grew up in a deeply religious family, but around two years ago, she began having doubts. It's not that she despises the religion; she just felt it wasn’t right for her. We met a year and a half ago, and have been together for a year now. When we first met, she was still unsure, but about five months ago, she confirmed she was agnostic. She hadn’t told her parents because she wanted to be absolutely certain.
Earlier this week, we were out and bumped into her mom. She approached us and started a conversation, asking who I was since we hadn’t met before. My girlfriend hesitated, so I stepped in and introduced myself as her boyfriend and mentioned that she was no longer following their religion. Both my girlfriend and her mom were taken aback. My girlfriend asked why I revealed that information. I told her that since she had decided long ago that she wasn’t Muslim anymore and we’d been together for so long, there was no need to keep it a secret any longer.
My girlfriend and her mom walked away to talk. Her mom was shocked but said she’d come to terms with it and was just glad that my girlfriend was happy. I thought it all went well.
However, later my girlfriend messaged me saying I overstepped and it wasn’t my place to share that information. She planned to tell her parents in private when she felt ready. I argued that things turned out okay. She called me an asshole and said I betrayed her trust. Her siblings and friends, who already knew, also messaged me, accusing me of not knowing when to keep quiet.
So, even though things seemed to turn out fine... Did I mess up?
I sometimes wonder how people would react if this happened on a reality show. Would they see me as the villain for speaking up or think it was justifiable given the situation? The drama would definitely be intense.
Did I make a mistake by telling my girlfriend's mom about her leaving the religion?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
I think you did the right thing. Sometimes people need a push
it's complicated...depends on the dynamics of your relationship tbh
Dude, you overstepped big time. Trust is crucial in relationships.
I agree, trust is everything. This could have been handled better.
I can see both sides. Maybe it wasn't your place, but it worked out in the end...
You definitely messed up. That was not your place to say anything. 😡
I feel for you, but that should have been her decision to make.
This could have gone way worse. You're lucky her mom took it well!!!
My partner did something similar once and it took a while to rebuild trust
u really messed up man. it wasn't ur place..
yeah, it’s her personal decision, not yours
agreed, timing was off too
Sounds like you meant well but execution was poor x)
I must say, your situation is pretty sticky, dude. I reckon you were coming from a good place - you were just trying to help, you know? Sometimes we make decisions on the fly that end up causing a bit of drama. But hey, it's all about learning from our mistakes and moving forward. In the grand scheme of things, it seems like everything worked out okay in the end, and your heart was definitely in the right place. Hopefully, this whole ordeal brings you and your girlfriend even closer together. Keep that chin up, mate!
Honestly, dude, it seems like you let the cat out of the bag before it was ready to pounce. 😬 You really should've let your girl handle her own business, ya know? "Loose lips sink ships." It sounds like she wanted to have that heart-to-heart with her parents privately, and you sort of scooped her by blurting it out. In situations like this, it's usually best to let folks share their own truth when they're ready. Lesson learned, eh?
my dude, you were absolutely out of line here. "confidentiality breach" is the term i'd use.
Your girlfriend trusted you with sensitive info, and you just spilled it without consent. that's a clear violation of trust, plain and simple.
==> Next time, keep your trap shut until the ones involved give you the green light.
dude, you did exactly what needed to be done. sometimes you've got to rip the bandaid off, and waiting around might have just made things more complicated. 😅 no point in tiptoeing around the issue when the critical path was clear, right? the situation was already reaching a tipping point, and now at least everything's in the open. maybe your timing wasn't perfect, but who knows if it ever would have been? people might not get it now, but they'll realize you were just cutting through the noise. hope it all shakes out okay, man. 🤷♂️
hey, i get where you're coming from. in project management, we talk about "transparency is key." revealing that info might have been a bit sudden, but sometimes it's better than carrying the weight of secrecy forever; might not have been the best timing, but you did it with the right intentions. as they say, "the truth will set you free." 🤔 hope it all works out in the end!
man, that was a bold move, to say the least. "not your circus, not your monkeys" comes to mind. didn't seem like your call to make; you might have stirred the pot more than you helped. privacy matters, and boundaries are important. the fallout you got from her friends and family says a lot. kinda feels like you misjudged the room there 🤔
man, that is a tough spot to be in. 😟 i get why you thought it was okay to mention it since her mom seemed understanding afterward, but yeah, revealing something so personal wasn't really your decision to make. relationships are all about timing and trust, and even if everything seems fine now, it's crucial to respect your partner's pace when it comes to such sensitive matters. i've found in my own life that letting people disclose their truths on their terms nurtures deeper trust and connection. maybe this can be a learning experience for future situations where the dynamics aren't so clear-cut. sounds like there’s an opportunity here to have a heart-to-heart with your girlfriend and mend any rough edges this might have caused. best of luck 👍
whoa, dude, that's quite a situation you got yourself into. 😅 on one hand, I get that it probably felt natural to share her change of belief because you're both in it together and are dealing with the consequences; but man, timing and intention really matter here. it's all about letting her take the lead on sharing such personal stuff at her own pace. this isn't just an information drop—it's a part of her identity she's wrestling with. maybe consider having a convo with your girlfriend where you acknowledge how she feels and try to understand her perspective better. you know what they say: 'communication is key!' hope it smooths over for both of ya.
it really wasn't your place to tell them. especially if she wasn't ready.
Wow, that's quite the situation you found yourself in. While I get why you thought it might've been time to share that info, there's a lot to consider when it comes to personal revelations; especially regarding faith and family dynamics. Did you think about how your girlfriend might have wanted to control the narrative and timing? It's one thing for us outsiders to perceive acceptance from her mom's reaction, but every individual's journey with such topics is unique. It's good that things went smoothly this time, but remember: handling delicate matters should always be prioritized over our perception of immediate outcomes. 🤔