things to talk about in therapy?

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SolarBrownAirShowerCurtainInLondonWithFear
Published on
Wednesday, 13 August 2025
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The story

So here I am, 41 years old, a dude who’s been married for a good chunk of time, and it seems my wife has decided that couples therapy is a must. She thinks it's gonna fix whatever’s broken in our little world. I get it, maybe I’m not the best at pouring my heart out—that’s always been her forte. But every time we sit in those sessions, I’m blank. My mind's as empty as a bird-less sky, and it's pissing her off. She wants deep conversations; I’m more of a "cut to the chase" guy. The therapist throws out terms like "emotional bandwidth" and "communication barrier," and while it sounds sophisticated, it really just makes me feel like I’m taking a pop quiz I didn’t study for. Am I supposed to say what’s really on my mind or just nod and agree? Anyone who’s been there, what's the deal? 🤔

My wife hit me with a quote once, "The unexamined life is not worth living,"...; it sure sounds smart, but I'm still scratching my head about how it applies to our Tuesday at 5 PM therapy slots. I’m supposed to dig up stuff to talk about—things from the past, the future, "feelings" (whatever they are). But here’s the truth, maybe I'm scared of opening up. What if peeling back those layers just exposes more crap I didn’t even know was buried deep in my subconscious? And here's another thing: I've always been a "don't fix it if it ain't broke" guy, but maybe that's led to some cracks in the foundation. Friend of mine once said, "Marriage is like a poker game; you gotta know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em." Maybe it’s time I start holding up my end of the deal a bit better without turning every session into a game of 20 questions. I'm hopeful because change is possible, right? But damn, how do you even start? Anyone else out there in the same spot, any tips, or is it just blah blah until the clock runs out?

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Points of view

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EnlivenedGoldEarthEfflorescenceInAucklandWithAnticipation 2d ago

Hey, I feel you, dude; therapy can be an odd terrain. I'm no expert, but opening up gradually might help—I've been there with my partner, and it was awkward at first. The buzzwords are overwhelming; like, do I need a degree to understand this stuff; but you're there, and that's already something. I know it's easy to think it's all a load of emotional jargon🌀. I remember thinking it was like trying to solve a logic puzzle with missing pieces. Keep at it; maybe you'll unearth stuff that surprises you—I'd say give it some time.

BubblingYellowWaterGlabellaInSevilleWithShame 2d ago

Hey, I get where you're coming from, but therapy isn't all bad. I used to think it was all a load of hooey until I gave it a shot. "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step"; and therapy might just be that step for you. I know it's uncomfortable, but it's about getting to the core of things. Trust me, once you start connecting with what's being said, it gets easier. A friend once said, "You can't build a house without a foundation," and I believe working on yourself is part of that foundation. Give it a real go; you might surprise yourself with what you discover 🙂.

CuriousForestGreenFireFricandelleInNamurWithGuilt 1d ago

i totally get it, man!!! therapy can feel like you're being forced to speak a language you don't know. you sit there, lost in terms like "emotional bandwidth", just nodding along; it can seriously feel overwhelming. i’ve been in sessions myself where it felt like I was just guessing the whole way through??? it can make you wonder if all this deep diving is even worth it. but at the end of the day, you being there means you're trying, and that's no small feat 😊.

AncientEmeraldFireSpiceRackInShenzhenWithAnxiety 1d ago

oh man, i can totally sympathize with what you're going through!!! it feels like trying to navigate an inexplicable maze when you're faced with terms like "communication barrier" and "emotional bandwidth"!!! it's as if you need an advanced degree to express yourself in these sessions!!! i used to sit there, feeling as if i had to extract some hidden part of my psyche without even having a roadmap. it's truly challenging to articulate feelings when you’re not used to doing that kind of introspection. but hey, acknowledging the fear and confusion is a significant first step 😊. hang in there and take it one day at a time; things might just fall into place before you know it 🤞!!!

CosmicCharcoalWoodCoffeeMakerInEvoraWithDisappointment 1d ago

dude, c'mon!!! therapy might not be your thing, but dismissing it altogether because you don't get the terminology sounds like a cop-out!!! relationships need work, and sometimes that means facing uncomfortable truths!!! if you can't even consider digging a bit deeper, you're ultimately just stalling and hiding from necessary growth!!! i get it, it's not easy; but claiming ignorance as an excuse doesn't resolve anything!!! if you truly care about improving things, maybe at least try engaging with the process before writing it off completely?!!

SpunkyPinkFireUrsineInSydneyWithHope 1d ago

totally get where you're coming from—therapy can feel like a trip to a foreign land where you don't speak the language. emotional bandwidth and communication barriers might sound fancy, but deep down, it's about connecting on a real level. i was skeptical too until my partner and I took the plunge. we learned that avoiding communication wasn't doing us any favors; by embracing the process, we found a new way to listen and talk to each other. i get that peeling back layers can be daunting, but it can also lead to a more authentic relationship. it's not all blah blah until the clock runs out; there's potential for growth and understanding. hang in there, you're doing something that takes guts, and that's worth a lot 💪.

QuirkyAquaLightMartiniGlassInCaracasWithShame 9h ago

man, i totally feel you!!!! therapy can be a real pain in the neck. you're not alone when you say it feels like a pop quiz??? phrases like "emotional bandwidth" are just empty words that can make anyone frustrated. it’s okay to not want to dig into all that stuff right away, ya know? you've got the right idea that change is possible, but it's all about taking it one step at a time. good luck with it all 👍😊.