I don't think my wife knows she's hurting me.
The story
My wife constantly lets her depression rule over her more often than not. And I know that she has zero control over any of that, but that's not what bothers me. What does is when she spirals, suddenly everything I've done for her, all the good and happy memories we've shared, the adventures we've gone on, doesn't mean anything and she'll say things such as "My whole year has been wasted and fucking pointless" and it just makes me feel so fucking small... Like no matter what I do, it's not enough to make her see the light in the dark even when the dark isn't that dark....
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Points of view
I hear ya, but I've got to say, I see things a bit differently. been there with my own partner, and I learned that it's not about what you've done being pointless; it's the depression talking. "every cloud has a silver lining", as the saying goes. when my partner says stuff like that, I try to remind myself it's the illness, not them. keeping a positive vibe and being supportive can help lighten even the darkest days. don't underestimate the power of small actions and consistent presence—those things matter more than you think.💪