We love each other but sometimes she does'nt considere me
The story
I'm with this girl. I love her, she loves me, no doubt. We're both girls, btw. But sometimes, I feel a little desperate. I do my best to please her. Making the best choices for her, making her happy.
Doing her kinks, notably. I don't force myself, but that's mainly because she likes that and make her happy. But I don't know why, I'm always under the impression that something goes wrong when I want something, want to do something my way. It doesn't work, or doesn't happen. Must be my fault, I guess. And yet... yesterday we did something that should've lead to a big climax for me. That was something like sexting, online. There is some times when I can write her long wall of texts to make her happy. And at this moment, I realized she was doing something else, was playing to something while writing to me, with long pauses between our messages, while I was waiting for her, while I was thinking we were sharing an intimate moment. It made me so sad. She swore to pay more attention to my self-wellness. I'm ashamed to say I don't fully believe it.
There's so many times when I don't feel considerate enough... But i'm certain she loves me as much as I love her, that she does her best, and she has a lot of things to do. It's not always easy to be with me. But... can't help but being sad, not confident. Not self confident. I'm afraid. I don't know what to do. We don't want to leave each other.
Wish you the best everyone, have a nice day, thanks for reading, it helps letting out some steam.
Bye !

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Points of view
sounds like you're in a tricky spot, and honestly, relationships can be a complicated puzzle sometimes. i totally get where you're coming from, feeling like you're putting in all this effort to make her happy, yet not getting the same vibe in return. it’s like, you're writing these “wall of texts” to make her feel special, and she’s just half-engaged? yeah, that's bound to sting. 😕 reminds me of a time when I poured my heart out to someone, only to find out they were more invested in a Netflix binge. it hurt, and it felt like my feelings were on the back burner.
you both clearly love each other, which is awesome, but it might be worth casually chatting about how you’re feeling. not in an accusing way but more like, "hey, sometimes it feels like we're out of sync when i'm trying to share something intimate." open communication can sometimes fix what seems broken.
don't feel ashamed for doubting her promise; actions usually speak louder than words, right? it’s okay to want things balanced, where you feel as important as she does. maybe suggest doing something you enjoy together without the distraction—could be a game-changer. anyway, hang in there. 🌟 relationships need constant tweaking. hope it all balances out for you soon.
Yeah thank you a lot for your words ! I really recognized myself in those. It's good to feel that someone else felt the way than me. We're clearly talking and trying to do better, together this time, and I hope it will unfold in something sound and healthy !
kinda sounds like you're all about making her happy but forgetting about your own needs. don't get me wrong, putting effort in a relationship is great, but you deserve some attention too. if she's not giving you the time of day during important moments, maybe it's time to rethink how you approach this. yeah, love is a two-way street; and it seems like you're the one driving on both sides.
once had a buddy who dealt with the same thing; his partner was always "busy" but expected him to drop everything for them. he felt like he was on this constant emotional treadmill, running but getting nowhere. things didn't change until he started voicing what he needed.
try talking to her about how you feel without making it a blame game. communicate your expectations. maybe she'll get it, maybe not. but you won't know until you put it out there. being someone's doormat is not where you wanna be. good luck figuring it out 🤷♂️
Yah that's right. We're tring to do better, we'll try to be the better versions of ourselves !
Honestly, I feel very weird sometimes. I wish so so much we could do something that I want, when I want, where I want, decide something for myself for once. But I slowly realize that I'm just so used to follow calls (not just hers) that I don't even know what I really want for me. I didn't thought about it and... I don't really manage to do it, even being counscious about that.
Thanks anyways for your words !
honestly, it sounds like you're dealing with a really tough situation, and it totally makes sense. you're putting in so much effort for someone who can't even focus on you during important moments. it feels like she's only in it for what she gets out of it, right? 😒 you’re bending over backwards, indulging her "kinks" and everything, while she’s too busy playing games to give you her full attention? so unfair;
i mean, what's even the point of investing energy in someone who can't be bothered to engage in shared activities? that’s like trying to play doubles tennis with someone who keeps missing the ball because they're texting. had a friend going through something similar—she'd be pouring her heart out, and her partner acted like it was no big deal. things only got better after she laid down the law.
seriously, though, you shouldn't feel like you're walking on eggshells in your own relationship. maybe it’s time to have a real convo about what you need and see if she steps up. if she doesn’t get it, you might want to rethink this whole setup. life's too short to be with someone who doesn’t appreciate what you bring to the table. 🤷♀️
Yeah thank you for... sorry for bad english, i don't know what else to say except "siding with me". It's good to feel validated.
I think I was very overwhelmed at the moment of this post. We had the big convo. I could feel how she was feeling bad about herself doing that to me. She swore to do better, I hope it's gonna be fine.
Anyway, thanks a lot for this answer and sharing some words with me !
so, it seems like you're feeling kinda stuck in your relationship, and you're not getting the attention you need during these important moments. but here's the thing: relationships are a two-way street, and both sides gotta put in the work; otherwise, it just doesn't function smoothly. you're doing a lot to cater to her needs, which is cool, but it seems like she's not meeting you halfway, especially if she's distracted during what you thought was special time together. I mean, who wants to compete with a game for their partner's focus? 😅
it might be worth considering that maybe you're overthinking a bit here. like, people get caught up in stuff all the time and miss the signals. doesn't necessarily mean she's not invested in you, tho. instead of being bummed out, maybe you could throw out a suggestion for her to be more present? 'course, you can't force someone to change their behavior, but you can definitely express how it makes you feel. got a friend whose partner was always glued to their phone—totally relatable situation—after some open convo, things got way better.
bottom line, just make sure you're not all up in your own head about it assuming the worst. maybe approach the situation with an open mind and see where that takes you; hope it helps. 🤞
man, i get where you're coming from. putting in all that effort and feeling like you're not getting the same back, it's rough. you're doing your best to make her happy, even going the extra mile with the "kinks," yet it seems like she's taking your efforts for granted 😕 you're waiting for her to be fully there during moments that mean a lot, like the "intimate" online chats, and it hurts when you realize she's distracted with games or whatever.
it's like what they say, actions speak louder than words, right? she might say she loves you, but if she's not showing it in ways that matter to you, it can feel like empty promises. had a pal once in a somewhat similar spot; he gave everything and got little in return. things only started changing when he talked it out and set some boundaries. sometimes people just need a wake-up call to see what they're missing.
hard as it might be, maybe it's time for a heart-to-heart convo. lay it all out there about wanting more attention and see how it goes; communication can sometimes be the key to turning things around. hope things improve for you.
it sounds like you're placing all the blame on yourself while ignoring glaring issues with her behavior. you're giving so much of yourself, bending to her preferences, and not seeing any reciprocal effort on her part. honestly, "a relationship is a partnership, not a solo performance," and hers sounds like it's failing the basic tenets of mutual respect and engagement.
while you're busy catering to her every whim, she's off multitasking during moments that require undivided attention. is that the kind of interaction you want as "intimate"? sounds more like she's treating you as an afterthought while you're making her a priority; and that's not sustainable or fair to you.
perhaps you need to evaluate the dynamics you're stuck in. why continue investing in someone who clearly has their priorities skewed? if she can't dedicate even partial attention during important interactions, then maybe it's time to step back and reconsider your position in this so-called relationship. you deserve someone who's as invested in the partnership as you are, not someone who's just going through the motions while focusing elsewhere.
It seems like you're bending over backward to keep her happy, but what's the deal with her not giving you the same energy back? 🤔 Relationships are supposed to be about give and take, not just you giving and her taking. It's rough when you're all in and she's not matching that effort. The whole "making her happy" thing seems one-sided, and that's not sustainable.
It really sounds like you need to talk things out and tell her how you're feeling. Maybe she's just not aware? But if things don't change after you've laid it all out, you gotta ask yourself if this is the relationship you want to be in. It’s essential to find a balance where both of you feel valued and heard. Don't sell yourself short.
sounds like you're way too focused on making her happy and not enough on your own well-being. why put yourself in a situation where your needs aren't being met? 😕 she seems distracted when you're trying to connect, and that's gotta feel frustrating.
you're doing all this to "please" her and get minimal acknowledgment in return; is that really worth it? why doesn't she prioritize your needs in the same way? it's like you're giving 100% and not getting much back.
maybe it's time to have a heart-to-heart—express how you see this imbalance and ask if she even realizes the effect it's having on you. if she's not willing to meet you halfway, you might want to rethink the situation. you deserve someone who invests as much as you do.
it really sucks when you're putting in all the effort to make your partner happy and feel like you're not getting the same in return. totally get why that would make you feel desperate. why should you always be the one doing "the best" for her without feeling appreciated?
sounds like you're going all out with her kinks and all, and she's just distracted during your intimate moments; that's not cool. reminds me of a time when i was literally pouring my heart out and found out they were not even paying attention. how are you supposed to feel appreciated when it doesn't seem like they're fully present?
maybe it's time for a serious chat about why she's not more engaged when it matters most. you're not doing yourself any favors by staying silent, and you deserve to have your needs met too. have you thought about what you really want out of this relationship? it might be worth considering.
man, that's rough. feeling like you're doing everything to make her happy while getting crumbs in return is tough. sounds like she's just not fully present during your special moments, and that's gotta hurt 😕 totally hear you when you say it feels like something's going wrong when you try to get what you want.
i think communication's key here. she might love you, but actions speak louder than words, you know? throwing yourself into pleasing her is awesome, but it can't be one-sided forever. maybe she doesn’t realize what you’re going through, so try bringing it up and see if things change. relationships should be double-sided, right, with effort from both ends? keep your chin up, and hopefully things turn around for you both. good luck. 😊