It's hard to know where to begin, so I'm just going to start talking. I was dating a guy for over an hour and a half when he suddenly broke up with me out of the blue (OVER TEXt!!) Then, he ghosted me. I tried getting him to talk to me. I texted and I called, but no response. Until finally a week later he asked if I would be willing to meet. In short, we talked it through and decided to try again.

We were good again for a few weeks, and then we got into a fight. He lied to me but didn't think he did, and he got mad at me for being upset. (He was always getting upset with me for being upset, which was really crappy.) We talked this through, and before I went home that night, he said we were good. I really thought we were. It was just a rough moment, and I thought we had worked through it. Apparently, I was wrong.

He wouldn't respond to my texts for days, and when I called him a couple of days later after a bad day at work, he ignored the call, then a while later texted to say "I'm not ready to talk yet". I didn't even know that we weren't talking or that he needed space. He didn't tell me, and in hindsight, his lack of communication was always a sore spot for us. Probably another week went by before I finally got him to talk to me. I had a family emergency where my sister ended up in the hospital, and I texted him twice practically begging him to be there for me before he finally called. He came to the hospital, and he was reluctant to talk to me about what was going on, but he finally did. He finally said that he didn't want to be with me. He said that we could take a break and some time apart to try to work this out. He even suggested that we could still talk and even hang out every once in a while but that this would take some time.

I agreed to this because I didn't want to lose him. But he didn't keep to any of this.

I gave him space, rarely texted him, which all went unanswered. Every once in a while (like every couple of weeks) he would answer a phone call, and we would talk for hours about how we've been and it would go really well. Each time we made plans to meet up, but he also ended up canceling each time. This happened three separate times over the past 3 months.... and I fell for it every time.

He kept stringing me along, and I let him. He hasn't responded to any of my texts or attempted phone calls since the last attempt to get together. And I stopped trying. It's been nearly a month since the last time I attempted to reach out to him, and it still hurts so much more than I would like to admit. I know it's over between us, but I think the hardest part is that there was never an official breakup. We never got an official ending, so I think there is still a part of me that hopes he will eventually reach out to me, and we'll find a way to work through this.

I don't even really want to get back with him anymore, but I still miss him dearly. It's hard, and I feel so alone.

I hate that he did this. I hate that he treated me like this and that I let him. I hate that I still miss him.

There is so much more that I could write, but I'm not sure if anyone will actually read this.

I just hope to hear people's thoughts about this. I don't have anyone I can talk to about the breakup, so I have nowhere else to turn to and really want to get to the point where I can move on. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

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