Forever Alone

Whoa, that's a lot to unpack; but don't let it drown you! First off, your mom's reaction was garbage. Not cool at all. It's tough enough dealing with an STI without feeling judged by those meant to support you. But hey, being part of the LGBTQ+ community can be super empowering—you're not as alone as you might think! As for the mood disorder, it's awesome you're in therapy now—keep grinding on that healing path. Have you thought about connecting with any online communities specifically for queer individuals or those living with STIs? Maybe finding people who get where you're coming from might expand that dating pool a bit more than you'd expect???

damn, man, that's a heavy load, but don't lose hope. your mom's reaction was outta line—everyone deserves support, not judgment. you're owning your truth and that’s huge. honestly, being upfront about herpes can sift out people who aren't worth your time anyway. being a lesbian with an STI might seem like it narrows the dating pool, but it also means whoever sticks around is truly worth it. just hang in there; there's someone out there who's gonna see you for the amazing person you are 💪

While I understand the complexities you've outlined regarding both your sexual orientation and the additional layer of living with an STI, there seems to be a sense of overwhelming pressure you're placing on yourself; have you considered how societal perceptions around STIs might be influencing your feelings? The notion that one's dating pool is limited due to having herpes is often exacerbated by stigma rather than reality... It's fascinating how society shapes our self-perception — but remember that everyone carries some form of 'baggage'!

I wanna say first off, it's very normal to be scared by herpes and feel like your life is ruined but it's not. <3 You need to be extra careful, gloves, women's condoms, toys, many ways to have sex or make it fun, your life is not over yet c:

Some advice I found as I'm not too educated about herpes.

"That feeling is so normal - it feels overwhelming and scary! I contracted it from an abusive ex. I felt ruined. I felt overwhelmed and ashamed. Over time, I learned more and regained my health (autoimmune disease had made me more vulnerable to contracting it and also much more sick when I did).

It takes time to feel ok with it. But please please know that SO many people have it.

I have not given it to my past partner I was with for 4 years after leaving the ex who gave it to me. My current partner (husband) has not contracted it yet in 2 years.

Antiviral meds do work quite well, while not 100% effective. It does help lessen outbreaks if you take it consistently, as well as reduce viral shed. Viral shed can sounds scary but it just means that you are able to transmit it when you aren’t actively showing symptoms but the chances are much lower especially with meds.

It’ll be ok!"

"Background: worked in an infectious diseases clinic for the Navy for 3 years. I first, would like to echo those that have already posted on here. They mentioned a lot of good points and resources. With my experience I would also like to add; being educated on the topic too can help you also communicate and educate your parnter(s). There are still many ways to have safe encounters and not transmitting it to others. Now, unfortunately, this can be a burden to bear, but when people love each other, they work through these things. So don't think you're limiting the dating pool. I guess in one sense, you might, but that's the goal anyway, right? To meet the people who love you and care for you and who you are. I wish you the best of luck on your journey. I know it's not favorable right now; but you'll go on to lead a healthy and normal life."

"The important thing is that yes, it is something you will need to monitor and take care of for the rest of your life which I do recommend maybe even talking with a therapist about if you have the opportunity to. However, it’s super important to knock down stigma around STIs because a lot of people on this earth have had experiences with them (myself included) or are living with one. It doesn’t make them any less deserving of love, respect, and support. Sadly, the world is still full of disinformation and people who really don’t take the time to do thorough research and hold a lot of very limiting and damaging beliefs. That isn’t your fault though, and there will be so many people out there who will love and cherish you regardless."

Many other lesbians have the exact same situation you're going through, so it's not like you are alone; some of these stories are from lesbians. I don't think a chronic illness makes you unlovable, like sure some people may not be able to handle that and that's okay because there are people who will. Anyone who makes you feel bad for having something you had no choice in having is a shitty person who definitely isn't medically educated.

I understand the feeling that your mental illness is ruining your relationships, your job is to, of course, help yourself, but also get help because you shouldn't be doing this alone. You already seem to be getting help, so that's good 🪷 I get questioning if you'll ever have a good, healthy mental state and relationship, but with time and energy put into this, you will! It can take years or sometimes less. I have a better mental state than I did at 15; others have healed as well. You're not cooked!

You talked about anti-depressants not really world.

A professional therapist advice I found: "Hey there, it doesn't sound like this therapist is a good fit for you. Even in talk therapy, there should be more going on than just you venting and your therapist listening. There are a lot of different types of therapy that fall under talk therapy that involve a more active participation from your therapist like CBT, solution focused therapy, etc. it may be worth trying a different therapist just to see if you have a better experience, it can take some trial and error to find the right therapist for you. that said, if you are 100% not interested in talk therapy, there are some other alternatives.medication is the obvious one, there's a lot of anti depressants out there, but again it may take some trial and error to find the right medication for you."

For isolation, I recommend just getting outside in general as being around noises from other humans can help that. Taking walks. You have to be prepared to deal with some discomfort, which is a part of the process 🦇 but that doesn't mean you need to traumatize yourself trying to push yourself to unrealistic goals, so be kind to yourself. Get comfortable being out of your room. I don't know how much you do that just now, but here's an example of what you could do. Start going for short walks around your area. When you feel comfortable doing that, change up the route, maybe start exploring rather than going a set walk around the block. Perhaps after that, you can walk to a shop just to browse or perhaps a museum. You don't necessarily need to do that, but the point is to start small and build up as you feel more comfortable.

Now you're probably thinking, what does this have to do with social skills? To start with, I'm assuming that the isolation has made being out and about quite an anxiety-inducing experience, so let's say you are at a club relevant to your interests, before even considering the people, the setting itself is likely giving you a lot of anxiety, which is of course very unhelpful. Also if you don't go out, you probably won't have a lot to talk about, 'what did you do at the weekend?' or a question like that is very common, you can get away with saying that you just had a lazy weekend every so often but you can't say that every week, you also need out of room activities to give you opportunities to meet real life people with real life interests and therefore you need to develop real life interests by going out and develop a few hobbies or anything that interests you

You don't need strong common interests to hang out, but it will help a bit. I used to work at the park with guys who played basketball and just do my own thing while they play. The thing is..I didn't feel much of a connection; it could've been their personality, but I did with their sister. This is to say, don't be afraid to talk or hang out with people you don't think you have common interests with.

I think just getting out there and meeting people could lead to a romantic relationship which is why I haven't given specific advice. Obviously, you can try hinge, dating apps, discord, reddit, ect

I do agree that people aren't in the mood for romanticism during these trying times, but Platonic? I feel like people won't mind at all, protests are community-based, and so I think they wanna socialize more than ever, get to know their neighbors, and all that jazz. I don't think finding a romantic partner is at zero tho. I know with all these obstacles you described, having herpes, being a lesbian, a mood disorder, the political climate of the world, but none off those things make you hard to love.

I'm not gonna say someone is willing to deal with your baggage, but a better phrasing, there is someone willing to support you through it and make it feel less heavy. There are some things that your partner may not be able to help you with. Let's say someone is depressed or sad, you try cheering them up and being there for them, but they still seem that way and are worried, that's when professional help steps in.

You would not be better off dead, there are many people who may currently love you or waiting to love you. I know it sounds stupid and everyone says this but affirmations really do help, telling yourself that you're okay and that you are a loveable person. In order for those thoughts to work more is breaking down the reasons why you don't believe them in the first place. Please don't lose hope 🩷🖤

yo, i totally hear you and it's rough when you're carrying all that weight on your shoulders. it just feels like everything's stacked against ya sometimes, huh? 🤔 but here's the thing: every single person has their own set of challenges and battles—yours might seem huge (and they are!!) but they're also part of what makes you uniquely you. true connections come from vulnerability and honesty, even if it means sifting through some not-so-great encounters first. have ya ever thought about being open about your struggles with potential friends or partners? lots of people are much more understanding than we give them credit for! anyway, keep trusting the process with therapy... and remember there’s no rush to find "the one." it'll happen when you least expect it ✨

i empathize with your struggles, particularly in navigating the nuances of identity and health within a society that often marginalizes; have you considered how your therapeutic journey might impact your capacity to forge deeper, more resilient connections, both romantic and platonic?

honestly, you're kinda blowing this way outta proportion. yeah, your mom's response was messed up and the situation ain't ideal... but life throws curveballs at everyone!!! focusing on the negatives will just drag you down deeper, man. you sure about being alone forever? that's a bit dramatic. have you considered stop letting labels define every aspect of your existence?? life's tough for many folks who don't make their issues a central feature of every conversation. take some ownership—work on yourself first instead of moanin' about ending up in psych hospitals. reflect on the here and now without stacking issue after issue—it might ease off some of that pressure before taking bigger steps.

have you thought about focusing on building strong friendships first rather than jumping into dating?

sometimes it feels like life just hands you one challenge after another, especially when you're dealing with things like your health and identity all at once; but it's interesting to see how others have navigated similar paths, maybe tapping into some creative hobbies or passions could open up new possibilities socially, even if they start as solo activities.

It's so frustrating when society throws this stigma on people with STIs; it can really mess with your head, but don't let that hold you back!

ngl, i gotta wonder if your mental health struggles might be making you see the dating pool as smaller than it actually is; like yeah, having herpes and being a lesbian narrows things down a bit, but there are still plenty of people out there who'll appreciate you for who you are.

It's really unfortunate how society heaps such a stigma around STIs, making living with one feel like an added burden. However, let's not forget that there are millions of people navigating similar paths and managing to lead fulfilling lives! I'd suggest exploring stories of those who've crossed this bridge; it might offer some unexpected inspiration💡. And kudos for seeking therapy—it's no small feat tackling mental health head-on. It's all about embracing every part of your journey and knowing that you're more than any label or obstacle life throws at you 😉

Yo, I get where you're coming from. It's like you're juggling a million things at once and it feels like too much. But here's the thing: life is messy for everyone, even if it doesn't seem like it. Everyone's got their own baggage to deal with. Maybe instead of seeing your experiences as barriers, see them as filters that help you find people who are truly worth your time and energy. Keep pushing forward, one step at a time—small victories add up!

Navigating life with such unique challenges can indeed feel overwhelming—sort of like trying to find your way through a fog; but it's commendable that you're in therapy and taking steps to understand yourself better😊

what are you really gaining by focusing on the obstacles?!!! sure, it's not a cakewalk with everything you've got going on, but wallowing in it won't change anything. ever tried leveraging your experiences into something that empowers rather than drains you?? if you're just sitting there feeling sorry for yourself, no wonder things aren't moving forward.

Hey, I just wanna say it’s real tough handling everything you’ve got on your plate, but don’t get too down; finding a good support network can make such a difference. Even if it's all online for now, sometimes virtual support can be as solid as in-person connections. Also, working on feeling comfortable and confident with being alone before diving into relationships might end up making them way more satisfying when they do happen. Trust me, there's someone out there who's gonna appreciate you for who you are—warts and all! 😉 Keep going strong! 💪

honestly, it sounds like you're dealing with a lot all at once, and that can really feel overwhelming. but maybe try to see this as a chance for growth? 🤔 sometimes the toughest moments push us towards unexpected paths we hadn't considered before; keep focusing on therapy and find ways to connect with others in non-dating scenarios—it might ease that sense of isolation a bit. have you thought about engaging in online communities or support groups specifically for mental health or LGBTQ+ folks? you'd be surprised how sharing experiences in these spaces can make things seem less daunting and even help build meaningful connections. keep going, you've got this 🌈

I feel you, the world sometimes feels like it's ganging up on you when you're just trying to live your truth. It really sucks that your mom reacted like that, but remember—not everyone's gonna judge you so harshly. 🌈 You’re out here fighting through all the noise and still showing up for yourself in therapy; that's seriously impressive! Maybe try looking into some online communities for support; there are bound to be people who can relate. Keep doing you, and know that there's light at the end of this tunnel—even if it’s just a flicker right now. 💪

Have you considered exploring support groups specifically for people with STIs? They can often provide a sense of community and shared understanding that might help alleviate some of the isolation you're feeling. Additionally, it might be worth examining if your mental health diagnosis is influencing how you perceive potential relationships. How do you feel about addressing the stigma around STIs in conversations or communities you're part of?

ever thought about trying online communities or support groups for people dealing with similar challenges?