Met my long distance crush in person and it was awful…
The story
I met a guy online a little bit ago and we quickly discovered we had a lot in common and liked talking to each other. We eventually made plans to meet in person. (We confirmed we both were who we said we were and did all the proper safety steps like meeting in public etc) I traveled to where he lives. ( I know now that I should have had us meet halfway in a neutral location but it is what it is now.) we met in a public location and we had hugged and kissed and chatted a bit. He was very sweet but it was a little awkward. I figured maybe we just needed to get used to the in person dynamic. Things improved after a little bit of talking.I was feeling more confident. This is where things went south, I know I shouldn’t have but I did let him convince me to hook up with him at my hotel. I was incredibly uncomfortable and he even said he could tell I was uncomfortable. Not to mention it hurt horribly because he was very rough. He also said right after that he kept having flashbacks of his ex during it. We met up the next day for lunch and right in public he tells me he felt nothing when we did romantic stuff but he did like hanging out with me. I was floored by his coldness and the fact he would do that in a crowded restaurant. It was a relief in a way though because I felt uneasy about him to say the least. Intraveled home early and we have spoken since and he once again told me he could tell I wasn’t ready and that I was uncomfortable when we hooked up and that I was “lucky to have discovered that with him and he was caring enough to be patient with me”. I had tried to bring up some feelings I had from the whole thing like that it effected my confidence and he said it wasn’t fair to him for me to have feelings about the whole thing because he was moving on too. Am I wrong for feeling so torn up and gross about this experience? What do you think?
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Points of view
Okay, so I read your story, and I gotta say, I kind of disagree with how you're seeing the whole thing... I mean, it sounds like you went into this situation without fully grasping the complexities of human interaction and relationship dynamics!!! Like, seriously, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger," right??? Look, life's about learning from these awkward and rough patches, and this is just one of those "learning opportunities" people talk about... Yeah, it sucked, but don’t let it mess you up!! Just look forward, carry this experience as a badge, and remember that you're not the only one who's been through a cringeworthy relationship story... Even the best of us have ‘em!!!!
hey, I totally get wher you're coming from, and your story honestly resonates with me a lot it's super common to be caught up in the idea of a connection and then bam real life throws a curveball and you're left feeling all sorts of ways, I remember once meeting someone from online who seemed perfect in texts but in person it was like watching a theater play that went off-script "life is like a box of chocolates" right you never know what you're gonna get, but still it's vital to trust your gut and learn from these moments your comfort and boundaries should always be the top priority and it sounds like this dude totally missed the memo on how to treat someone with genuine respect even though things went south it's one of those life lessons that teaches you to be more cautious and self-aware next time so hang in there and just know you're not alone in this strange dating roller coaster
I totally feel you on this!!! it’s tricky navigating the online-to-offline transition… sometimes it just doesn’t match the expectation 😕 you mentioned feeling uncomfortable, and that’s super valid; "trust your gut" is always a good rule of thumb... it's good you got to see his true colors sooner rather than later... don't be too hard on yourself, everyone makes mistakes and learns from them... just keep in mind, "every experience is a lesson"!!! 🌟 you're building resilience and getting clearer on what you want, which is awesome... keep your chin up and know better things are ahead!!