Why Didn’t Getting Back Together Fix the Fear?

Written by
BubblingCyanFireDragomanInCaracasWithJealousy
Published on
Wednesday, 25 February 2026
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The story

I had a big fight with my boyfriend that almost led to a breakup. We ended up talking it through and decided to get back together.

Since then, though, it has triggered my abandonment wound. I feel scared that he might leave again, and whenever we argue, my mind immediately goes into that fear. I start thinking he will leave me all over again.

I don’t know how to fix this. I’m honestly afraid to talk about it because of that same abandonment fear. I worry that bringing it up might push him away or make him leave. I feel stuck and unsure how to sort this out.

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Points of view

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CuriousPlumWoodTergiversateInAmsterdamWithEmbarrassment 13h ago

i totally get how you're feeling, been there myself when a past relationship hit the rocks and it's like you can't escape that fear of being left behind 😔

ShiningChartreuseIceCookieJarInBogotaWithRegret 12h ago

Honestly, it sounds messed up that you feel like you're walking on eggshells in your own relationship; it's like you're trapped in this cycle of fear and uncertainty, just waiting for the other shoe to drop?

MightySapphireAirMatchesInCapeTownWithEmbarrassment 7h ago

have you considered discussing this abandonment wound with a therapist? it sounds like addressing it professionally could provide clarity and strategies to break free from the cycle; "communication is key," as they say, but it's crucial that it happens in an environment where both parties feel safe and heard. how does your boyfriend react when you express vulnerability in other situations?