Dealing with my parents falling out of love,I'm a early teen
The story
Dealing with my parents relationship slowly falling apart. About 5 years ago my dad had stopped working and became a stay at home dad, except he never hung out with me or even was a dad, he was just a stranger in the house always on the couch looking at screen. I have to beg him just to make dinner, he soon turned depressive. My mom works multiple jobs, nannies multiple families, shoe store, gym, community center, and for rich families to look after their kids. My mom has been recently telling my dad to get a job, he brushes it off. So now my mom has began to be frustrated.
Present time about 3 weeks ago, I was in the car with my mom, driving me to hangout with my friend of 7 years. She suddenly speaks, "Hey, lilly-bug (nickname)... I want to divorce your dad. It's just that he hasn't been a good dad and hasn't been working, after 5 years laying around.." okay. Sure mom. I support you. I agree. I'm okay. Seriously I'm okay. Right? Anyway. I respond with a nod and tears spilling. She then speaking again, "I didn't think you liked him anyway, he never did anything for you..." you're right. He is a lousy piece of shit. But that's why I love him. I WANT TO KNOW HIM AND FEEL HIS LOVE GOD DAMNIT. but I'll never get that. Hell not even a damn hug. But I'll have to accept that. Not every family is perfect is it? There's always one person ruining it. Okay. I nod and start crying harder, causing her to say, "Come on, Lilly Jayne... Don't make me feel guilty.." GUILTY!? DON'T MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY? Mom you just crushed my world. You told me my life is going to change. And don't call me that or hold my hand. You'll only make me cry harder. So I force myself to stop crying but her words keep making it harder. I don't know why I'm so sensitive, she tells me that the world is mean and you have to be strong.
time skip. To Saturday. We were coming home from my grandma's house as I stayed the week, I love my grandparents,my grandpa is my father figure, i don't know what I would do if he died. Probably start cutting I don't know. Anyway. As we were driving we stop to get a drink, after we got a drink she says, "I've started to sleep downstairs in chrissys old room." uh. Yes it's confirmed, they are divorcing. I feel insane. So I just nod while gripping my pants as I tried to not cry. I don't know why I'm so sensitive. We just sat in uncomfortable silence.
And now this is present time. I can't look my parents in the eyes. Or even hangout with them. I cry every fucking night, hoping that my parents could just love each other and be mutual. Also I have to cook for myself and I'm in my early teens.
does anyone relate to me?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
sounds like you're going through a really tough time right now. it's tough not feeling that connection with your dad, especially when you really want it. and your mom's doing so much, but it's like the family's just falling apart. it's natural to feel super emotional about all this, but don't be too hard on yourself for being sensitive. everyone deals with this kind of stuff differently, you know?? hopefully, things get better soon 🙏
Thxxx it's just really hard because I don't have anyone to really go to rn, but thanks for your concern 🫶🫶🫶
really sorry you're going through this, but maybe there's more to your dad's situation than you've seen? 🤔 burnout from job losses can lead to mental health issues, which might be why he withdrew. it's tough for your mom too, juggling so many gigs—she's probs overwhelmed! maybe give it time, and talk it out with them? things could shift for the better. hang in there😊
sounds like you're dealing with a lot right now, but maybe there's a silver lining here. "every family is imperfect," like you said, and it's possible your dad is navigating his own struggles you haven't seen. life has a funny way of throwing curveballs, and sometimes it's all about adapting. 💡 focusing on communication might help a ton—the more you chat, the more you understand, you know? bet there are brighter days ahead for your fam.
sounds like your situation is pretty rough, and it's understandable why you're upset. "not every family is perfect" really hits home, but it kind of feels like your dad's letting the team down. your mom's busting her tail with multiple gigs, while he's stuck on the couch; that can't be easy to live with. maybe having an open dialogue could help clear the air and bring some perspective. you deserve to feel that parental love, but remember, folks have their own battles too. hope things shake out better in the long run.
really sounds like you're in a challenging situation. "he hasn't been a good dad" is sadly on point here. it's tough to handle when one parent carries the load while the other seems disengaged. your mom's working multiple jobs, which is not sustainable, and your frustration is valid. hope they can work things out, but it's understandable why you'd feel hurt. perhaps acknowledging these difficulties is the first step towards finding solutions.
it really sounds like you're going through a lot right now. your feelings about wanting to connect with your dad are completely valid. i've been in a situation where a family member just wouldn't engage, and it was tough. when your mom says, "the world is mean," she probably just wants you to be prepared, but it's still hard, isn't it?!!! maybe with time, things might sort out for the better; there's always a chance for improvement. keep your head up; you're handling this as best as you can. 💪
it is evident that you're facing a distressing family dynamic, and your feelings about your dad's absence are completely justified. "he has not been a good dad" indeed, and it must be disheartening to experience this lack of paternal engagement. your mother's overwhelming workload further complicates the situation, highlighting an imbalance in responsibilities. it's frustrating to see your family structure faltering, and your emotions are valid and warranted. having to fend for yourself in your early teens is unjust; maybe addressing these concerns with your parents could initiate some change. hang in there and hope for better days; you're already showing remarkable resilience. 😒
it's clear you're in a really rough spot with your family situation. feeling like your dad's more of a stranger than a parent has got to sting a lot. i get why you'd be upset, especially with your mom working her butt off trying to keep everything together. it must be super tough cooking for yourself at your age, right??? still, there's hope things might get better. ever thought about talking to them about how this is all making you feel? opening up could be the first step towards some kind of change. hang tough; it's a lot, but you're handling it like a champ. 💪