Recently, my parents approached me with a request to help organize a family getaway that was sorely needed. They hoped to include my brother Carl, who's 43, and his wife Sandra, 33. Unfortunately, my husband Ryan, 46, and I can't join as I'm currently unemployed and we can't afford the expense. This would be the first family holiday I've missed, and it honestly left me feeling quite upset, though of course, I agreed to assist. In a discussion that followed, my mom hinted it might be for the best as this arrangement would leave me available to care for Carl's pugs and our family's chihuahua.

Handling these dogs is no small task as they require constant attention, meaning I'd need to reside at my brother's place for the duration of their trip. Despite these dogs being adorable, they demand a lot of care. For almost a decade, I've been suggesting to Carl that it might be wise to employ a professional pet sitter because financially, he wouldn't have a problem affording one.

This past year alone, I've looked after them three times under varying durations, from overnight stays to nearly a week. They compensated me generously; however, the responsibility is overwhelming and not to mention, uncomfortable. Ryan and I already have five cats which are plenty, and we've consciously decided not to add dogs into our mix.

Now, while tasked with booking their vacation, Carl hadn't yet mentioned any plans for his dogs. During a Sunday family dinner, which Sandra missed due to illness, I took the moment to openly express to Carl that while I adore him and the pugs, dog-sitting during their vacation would be too much for me this time around. I stressed it was unreasonable to expect me to lock myself away at their house for seven days and reminded him of my long-time advice to hire a dog-sitter, even offering to help find one.

Carl initially reacted poorly, warning that he’d no longer look after my cats. I responded that it wasn’t an issue as we typically use a cat sitter, pointing out the difference in our requests for help. He eventually acknowledged that asking me to watch five dogs for seven nights was a bit much—oh, and it turns out it would actually be five dogs because his mother-in-law planned to bring her two Italian greyhounds as well.

Despite the surprise addition of more dogs, I remained calm and reiterated my feelings. By the end of the night, there seemed to be an understanding, and we parted on good terms with promises of future discussions.

However, the next evening's call with my parents revealed that Carl felt blindsided by our conversation, with Sandra equally upset. They perceived my refusal as a tantrum due to my inability to join the vacation, but I assured them my concern was purely the overwhelming responsibility. Now, they are considering canceling the trip altogether because I refused the dog-sitting arrangement.

Am I wrong to refuse?

Imagine if this scenario unfolded on a reality show—with cameras rolling capturing every moment of the dramatic dinner confrontation and the emotional entanglements. How intense would the viewers' reactions be to this display of family tension and boundary-setting?

What would you have done in my place?

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