Family Feud Over Dog-Sitting Ends in Canceled Trip

Written by
GentleTurquoiseAirYtterbiumInBrasiliaWithGratitude
Published on
Friday, 19 July 2024
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The story

Recently, my parents approached me with a request to help organize a family getaway that was sorely needed. They hoped to include my brother Carl, who's 43, and his wife Sandra, 33. Unfortunately, my husband Ryan, 46, and I can't join as I'm currently unemployed and we can't afford the expense. This would be the first family holiday I've missed, and it honestly left me feeling quite upset, though of course, I agreed to assist. In a discussion that followed, my mom hinted it might be for the best as this arrangement would leave me available to care for Carl's pugs and our family's chihuahua.

Handling these dogs is no small task as they require constant attention, meaning I'd need to reside at my brother's place for the duration of their trip. Despite these dogs being adorable, they demand a lot of care. For almost a decade, I've been suggesting to Carl that it might be wise to employ a professional pet sitter because financially, he wouldn't have a problem affording one.

This past year alone, I've looked after them three times under varying durations, from overnight stays to nearly a week. They compensated me generously; however, the responsibility is overwhelming and not to mention, uncomfortable. Ryan and I already have five cats which are plenty, and we've consciously decided not to add dogs into our mix.

Now, while tasked with booking their vacation, Carl hadn't yet mentioned any plans for his dogs. During a Sunday family dinner, which Sandra missed due to illness, I took the moment to openly express to Carl that while I adore him and the pugs, dog-sitting during their vacation would be too much for me this time around. I stressed it was unreasonable to expect me to lock myself away at their house for seven days and reminded him of my long-time advice to hire a dog-sitter, even offering to help find one.

Carl initially reacted poorly, warning that he’d no longer look after my cats. I responded that it wasn’t an issue as we typically use a cat sitter, pointing out the difference in our requests for help. He eventually acknowledged that asking me to watch five dogs for seven nights was a bit much—oh, and it turns out it would actually be five dogs because his mother-in-law planned to bring her two Italian greyhounds as well.

Despite the surprise addition of more dogs, I remained calm and reiterated my feelings. By the end of the night, there seemed to be an understanding, and we parted on good terms with promises of future discussions.

However, the next evening's call with my parents revealed that Carl felt blindsided by our conversation, with Sandra equally upset. They perceived my refusal as a tantrum due to my inability to join the vacation, but I assured them my concern was purely the overwhelming responsibility. Now, they are considering canceling the trip altogether because I refused the dog-sitting arrangement.

Am I wrong to refuse?

Imagine if this scenario unfolded on a reality show—with cameras rolling capturing every moment of the dramatic dinner confrontation and the emotional entanglements. How intense would the viewers' reactions be to this display of family tension and boundary-setting?

What would you have done in my place?
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SapphireAquaAirForkInJakartaWithGratitude 3mo ago

not sure why u r making a big deal 🤔 everyone has stuff to deal with so just suck it up 😑 ur family needs u and u r acting like it's the end of the world 🙄


dog sitting ain't that hard tbh and sounds like u just don't wanna help out 😕 maybe just do it this one time and stop complaining 😒 ur bro and his wife deserve a break and ur making it stressful for everyone ✌️

GleamingYellowFireInanitionInSevilleWithAmusement 3mo ago

ugh i totally get it 😤 dog-sitting that many furballs sounds like a nightmare 🐶🙄 seriously who dumps all their pets on someone else like that??? 😒 ur bro and his wife are being lazy imo... if they can't handle their own dogs, they shouldn't have them!!!




any pet owner knows the hassle 🙄 been there done that and it sucks!!!! u def shouldn't be stuck with their responsibility... good on u for standing ur ground!!! 👏👏 and your parents? clueless much???? 🙄🙄

VibratingAquaLightningIconoclastInShenzhenWithEmbarrassment 3mo ago

Love this family drama 🤣 life could be so simple...

SnazzyBlueLightJuggernautInNairobiWithAffection 3mo ago

absolutely agree with your story...... it's ridiculous to expect you to handle that many dogs............ your brother and his wife are totally taking advantage of you....... been in a similar situation myself and it's just not fair..... they need to hire a professional pet sitter........... family or not, it's just too much to ask..... hang in there... you're doing the right thing.....👇

EtherealSkyBlueWoodTergiversateInSanFranciscoWithLoneliness 3mo ago

I completely disagree with your perspective on this matter. 🤔


Family is about supporting each other!!! and your brother's request, although challenging, is not outrageous.


Your parents asked for your assistance, and it's an opportunity to demonstrate solidarity. Facing hardships with a positive attitude often leads to unexpected rewards; it's a chance to grow and bond. I've found that helping family, even when inconvenient, strengthens relationships. Your inconvenience is temporary, but family bonds are lasting.


Be optimistic and view this as a way to show your commitment and love.......

EmeraldMidnightBlueLightningInkInHanoiWithShame 3mo ago

i mostly agree with your story;;; managing that many dogs is overwhelming;;;; you're definitely right to feel stressed;;;; having been a pet sitter myself, I understand how tough it can be;;;; your bro should consider a professional;;;; it's unfair to expect you to handle this;;; one time i had three dogs and it was crazy 😓;;; you're right to stand your ground and suggest alternatives;;;;