how to forgive?

why u feel lost do u want her back in ur life?

Man, that's rough. I can't blame you for feeling stuck and questioning everything. Forgiving someone for that level of abandonment sounds like an uphill battle... The way your dad stepped up is gold though, like true hero status right there. Honestly, maybe focus on the relationship with him and let time figure out the rest. Whatever you decide, trust your gut. It's easy to say "forgive" but way tougher to actually do it!

is there something specific you need from this newfound relationship? i mean what's left unsaid that needs closure here.

Dude, your feelings are totally valid!!! It's crazy hard when someone who bailed wants back in your life like nothing happened. I can't say I've been exactly there but dealing with family stuff can get messy. Maybe talking to your dad about it might help clear some thoughts up; he seems like a solid guy who’s got your back. Trying to forgive is one thing, but feeling okay about it is a whole different ball game. Just take your time figuring out what's best for you!

man, that sounds tough. can't imagine being in your shoes with all that history and emotions mixed up together. forgiving someone who left you hanging is no small feat, especially when they just roll back into town thinking things can pick up where they left off. 😒 honestly, if it was me, i'd be weighing the pros and cons on whether it's worth reopening that chapter for my own sanity or not. might help to chat with your dad about how he feels about it since he's been the rock through it all; he might have some perspective that could help you sort through this mess. either way, take your time figuring out what's best for *you*.

i've thought about forgiving family members who hurt me too. sometimes i'm confused if it's worth re-opening old wounds even for 'closure'. doesn't always seem clear.

sounds like you're dealing with a lot of mixed emotions and it's totally valid to feel torn. maybe consider what you'd gain or lose by giving her a chance. forgiving isn't about letting her off the hook, but it might be about finding peace for yourself. take your time figuring out what you want, no rush in making such a big decision.

I hear you. Your situation reminds me of something similar that happened to my friend a few years ago. Out of nowhere, their estranged parent reached out after being MIA for more than a decade. Understandably, the mixture of anger and hesitation was overwhelming for them too... No clear blueprint exists on how to reconcile past hurt with potential future connections. It's important to acknowledge your mixed feelings (deeply valid by all means!) and maybe take things at your own pace without any pressure to decide either way just yet 😌 Handling it step by step could likely ease some of that tension balancing everything out.

These situations are incredibly perplexing and emotionally taxing. It is almost as if your mother views the passage of time through a different lens, neglecting the profound impact her absence has had on you; there’s no instant reset here. Your dad sounds like an absolute pillar of strength in your life, providing stability when things were anything but stable. It's crucial to question whether reopening this chapter serves your well-being or just stirs dormant emotions that might not have fully settled yet. While everyone harps on forgiveness as some panacea, it’s worth considering what both healing and maintaining sanity mean for you without external pressures dictating your actions. 🤨

I totally get your frustration. My father left us when I was young and came back later expecting everything would be normal. It took me years to find peace with it but ultimately communication helped us both move forward.

I hear you, man. This kind of situation is so complex: remember that you have every right to feel conflicted as heck. You know, "trust but verify" might make sense here, like giving her a chance to see if she genuinely wants to be involved and make amends. My cousin went through something similar and found peace by slowly setting boundaries to allow for rebuilding trust... But don't rush yourself; healing is not on a timetable! 🤷‍♂️ Maybe reflect on what role you'd want her to play now (if any), especially considering the strong bond you've got with your dad.

yo, that's messed up! your mom thinks she can just stroll back into your life like nothing happened; what a joke. it's not like you can just throw away all those years of hurt and confusion for some weak apology or explanation now. i totally get the struggle between wanting to respect what your dad might want and dealing with this massive curveball from your mom;

but man, don't forget how much stronger you've gotten without her. maybe focus on the present and who you are now instead of letting her disrupt all that progress. take it slow if you decide to engage at all, she's gotta earn any trust she wants back.

so many emotions involved huh? not sure how people manage these things 'coz holding grudges gets exhausting after awhile yet letting go feels odd sometimes.

my brother went through something similar once his mom reached out years later after no contact. he found writing letters he'd never send helpful for getting unspoken feelings out without actual confrontation.