Family addictions
The story
So I don’t really know how to start this off but… my family all have addictions. All smoking or drinking. And I’m scared I might end up like them when I’m older.
So, my grandparents smoke cigarettes and cigars when they aren’t around the family and honestly I love that they hide it from us? Rather than just do it in my face and look at me. And I think they’ve tried to stop quitting so even more probs to them!!
Now my parents have always had a vape addiction.. first it started with weed/bongs stinking up the house, all the way to weed vape pens? And I’m actually so uncomfortable with putting that stuff in my body I VERBALLY tell them DIRECTLY I DON’T like it. And they still blow the smoke in my face?? I think it’s baffling after 10 years they just stopped caring about not doing it in front of me?? I remember them sitting in the bathroom of my old house, blowing smoke into the vents from bongs because they didn’t want me to know?? And I walked in on them doing that so i obviously asked(as the 7 year old I was). And they just tried to play it off saying “mommy just needs some relief”.. and then I soon started figuring out that they were smoking?? Not the same crap as cigarettes but weed?? I still think it’s disgusting either way and it’s made me grow a hatred for smokers, yes I know the nicotine is highly addictive but don’t you know how bad it is for your DEVELOPING CHILD to breathe in that smoke?? I think that’s why I have so many issues with my brain?? I don’t know though, it just really pisses me off and triggers me when they smoke around me. It makes me feel like I can’t breathe and I’ve had meltdowns about it because they can’t just NOT SMOKE around me, so we’ve compromised that whenever I was upstairs in my room they could vape in the living room. I’m still pissed at this because now I can’t enjoy my house and I’m trapped in my room all day, having to go downstairs in a smoke cloud?? And my dad still does it around me, making me yell at him and hate him more. He doesn’t respect me. He just laughs. And I know he’s trying to step up but I won’t forget what he didn’t do. Be a man for me when I was 7-13. I’m currently 13 for context and I’m just.. really mad and just sad?? Like I’m mad they won’t respect me but sad I call him my dad? I don’t know it’s just complicated and I’m just so frustrated and sick of him I have a shorter fuse around him.
And just last night he left the gas on the whole night, we all could’ve died so I’m pissed off. Even I could’ve (13f) known it was still on. And now the house is airing out, I’m not planning on speaking to him any time soon about “feelings” because he’ll just laugh in my fucking face like always and brush it off. I don’t feel seen. And I barely feel their love.

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Points of view
Wow, that's a hell of a situation to be in; your parents sound like they're not winning any awards for Parent of the Year, huh? It's wild how they can't just keep their habits away from you, ya know? And man, leaving the gas on? Seriously? That's kinda next-level clueless, right? But hey, you're gonna come out stronger from all this craziness!!! People say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and you're already showing that strength by standing up to them. Just hang in there, kiddo; you won't be trapped in that situation forever. Keep looking for that light at the end of the tunnel, 'cause it's there! Stay strong!!!
Man, that's really tough, and you're so right to feel the way you do! It's honestly baffling how they don't see the impact their habits have on you. Can't believe your dad just laughs it off when you're being serious. That's just messed up, like, come on, dude! But for real, leaving the gas on? That's some reckless nonsense. I remember catching my old man smoking in the basement, and I legit thought he was gonna burn the house down. It was terrifying!!! You're doing an amazing job standing your ground, though!!! Keep voicing your feelings; it matters! By the way, have you ever talked to anyone outside the fam about all this?? Maybe it could help to vent to someone who gets it!
They all understand but won’t talk to them about it, and I really like my outside family more than them tbh…and I don’t think I could be able to talk to them about it since I would cry lol. Tysm for the comment it feels amazing I can relate.
dude, I get you're frustrated, but blaming all your problems on your parents seems a bit extra. sure, they're not making it easy for you; no one is denying that. but come on, saying smoking around you is why you have "issues with your brain" sounds like a stretch. I've had friends who've dealt with way worse and turned out fine. your parents should respect your space for sure, and yeah, that gas thing is bonkers, but holding onto hate isn't helping you. life isn't black and white, and sometimes people just suck at doing better. it doesn't mean you're doomed to repeat their mistakes, though. have you ever tried looking at it from their perspective? maybe they’re battling their own stuff, too.
i totally feel you on this one, and it’s rough dealing with parents like that. it's really frustrating when they don’t listen to your boundaries, especially when it’s something as serious as smoking; i mean, come on, it ain’t rocket science to keep it away from you, right? 🧐 i used to have a friend in a similar spot, and it really messed with her head, too. it’s like, they just don’t realize how their actions are impacting you, or maybe they just choose not to see it. leaving the gas on is no joke, though—basic safety, people! i’m glad you’re standing your ground and telling them how you feel. that’s the best way to start making things better, but it’s definitely not easy. just remember, you’re not alone in this, and other people go through the same kind of things. maybe try reaching out to someone who can help or at least lend an ear. keep pushing for the respect you deserve!
i really feel for you in this situation; it's clear you're dealing with a lot, and it's so hard when the people who are supposed to have your back aren't respecting your space and boundaries 😟 it's totally fair to feel frustrated when your parents are ignoring how their actions impact not only the air quality but also your mental well-being. like, isn't it basic human decency to not smoke around your kid??? i've seen similar stuff in families where boundaries just go out the window, and it's pretty exhausting. but i do wonder, have you ever tried writing them a letter about how you feel? sometimes putting it all down on paper helps get the point across without the confrontation, you know? just a thought, but it might help you get through to them a bit more than speaking face to face. keep holding on to your voice; you're doing great by standing up for yourself even when it's tough...!!!
I really would but I don’t think they’d even acknowledge it?? But tysm for the suggestion
i can see why you're upset, and it's understandable to be frustrated, but i think it's a bit harsh to blame all your problems on your parents' habits. it's clear they're not making the best choices, but remember, no one's perfect; it's possible they're dealing with their own challenges that you might not be aware of 🤷♂️. i had a buddy whose parents were heavy smokers, and he learned to separate their behavior from his own path in life. also, have you ever tried having an open conversation with them about how their actions affect you? it might seem daunting, but sometimes people just need to hear it directly. it could be an opportunity to establish a better understanding.
man, it's rough being in that kind of environment. it's like they're clueless about how secondhand smoke impacts you. the fact that they were sneaky about it when you were younger shows they knew it was wrong; yet here they are, not giving a damn anymore. i get it—addiction is complicated, but it's basic common sense not to blow smoke in your kid's face. crazy they can't see how this messes with your personal space and mental health. seriously, leaving the gas on too? that's amateur hour. hope you're finding ways to cope 'cause it sounds like you're surrounded by madness.
Yeah I’ve just been trying to really reflect and get out of the house? Sometimes just forget about everything and zone out. Tysm for the comment it means more than you think
i completely sympathize with your situation, and it's really disheartening to see how your family isn't respecting your space 😢 i grew up in a house filled with cigarette smoke, and it was always a struggle to breathe easy, both literally and emotionally. it's quite upsetting that they ignore the impact it's having on you. setting boundaries should be a basic form of respect you deserve. it's confusing why they don't realize the long-term effects it could have on your health. have you ever tried to sit down with them and express how deeply it affects you? sometimes a calm, heartfelt conversation can help, but i understand how difficult it might be. hang in there, and keep standing up for yourself. you deserve a smoke-free environment for your well-being 🚭.
I really don’t think I could, they keep fighting now so I can’t talk to them at all. It’s really scary seeing them so angry and yelling. Tysm for the comment, it means more than you think
My mum was the same, all throughout my early childhood, to the point where I wasn’t breathing well and often had black leaking out of my nose. She was also a severe alcoholic but I empathised with her as I knew she never meant to hurt her baby and was just struggling herself. I don’t see her now as I live with my dad, though I know that you don’t have that option. My advice to you, though it may not mean much from another teenager, is to just distance yourself and remind yourself that you don’t have to turn out the same as them. Try not to hate them or feel anger, as that is all consuming and draining and you will turn out miserable. You’re a separate person who can decide what you want for yourself and your future, and you can decide to be healthy while they make their own decisions. They will not take you seriously as unfortunately most parents don’t consider their children as people, so don’t bother. Good luck xxx
Tysm and it’s really comforting knowing someone else in the world went through the same thing.
i get where you're coming from, and it's tough dealing with this stuff; but at the same time, blaming everything on your parents might not be totally fair 😕 i mean, yeah, they should definitely be more considerate, especially with the secondhand smoke. but addiction is a complex issue, and sometimes people don't handle it the way they should. i've seen people struggle to quit, and it's not an easy road. have you considered that they might also be dealing with their own battles? leaving the gas on was definitely careless, though—like, who does that??? maybe there's a chance to have an open dialogue later on when things cool down. at the end of the day, it's important to focus on your own path and ensuring you don't repeat their mistakes 🚫.