I'm in my 30s so this is a little sad to even be typing about. Hear me out...

I grew up with a complete family. A mother, a father, brother, and sister. At first look, it seemed perfect. Maybe we were in certain ways. My parents were married and loved each other but constantly fought a lot. On good days, we'd all be laughing and just enjoying our time together but on bad days, we witnessed them fight well into the morning. I basically grew up seeing that and it was terrible.

Fast forward to today. My mom is widowed, brother and sister living halfway across the world and I am the only person living with my mom. I should be living on my own at this point but that's a different story.

So why am I even here? I grew up seeing them fight and that aggressive behavior kind of brushed up on me. Now as an adult, I find myself in situations where when my opinion differs greatly from that of my mom, we argue about it as if World War III is about to go down. An understatement by itself.

Of course, there are details that would take forever to type so I'm not going to type it here, but I guess all I want to say is that I'm tired having a mom who thinks she can fight with me every time she can't get me to see her point. I'm tired growing up to this. I'm tired of being an adult with a life like this. I love her but the fights are so terrible, it's embarrassing. It's messing with my mental health. I hate seeing her "I'm perfect, I never make mistakes" face cause that's what keeps the fights going. Nothing is ever resolved. It's all a battle of pride and who gets to fall asleep first.

There's so many things I want to say, all hard feelings from years of pent up anger just brewing up inside. But I'm too tired from the fight we just had and all I could think of is how much more peaceful it all could be if I had a mother who was slightly... tamer.

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