I hate my fucking life (not suicidal, just angry).
The story
I’m 31, Male, single, no kids. I feel like im at the edge of bridge just waiting to jump. I’m so fucking angry all the time. I really hate the way my life has turned out. I’ve lost every ounce of happiness in my body.
I hate the way I feel I hate the way I live. I’m so tired of it.
I only feel depressed and angry with a short fuse all the time. I’m living with my grandparents and my mother, because my grandparents are in their 80s and my grandfather is going through stages of dementia. It’s sad to see and deal with. He constantly walks around the house looking lost. He can’t do much anymore but is still active (goes grocery shopping, the doctors). He gets confused about basic shit all the time, and we are constantly having to explain the same things over and over again. He’s always trying to do physical work but has 0 strength in his hands. I have to help him all the time, with everything. Now I’m not mad at him for asking for help. But I feel frustrated all the time because I’m trying to balance my life at the same time. I was long time alcoholic/addict. I haven’t drank in 5 years. But I quit smoking weed again about 3 weeks ago.
I’ve been in construction for 10 years and the last 5 have been a blessing and a fucking nightmare. I worked for a small shop, only 5-10 guys max and we have to do everything and we’ve had constant problems, whether it be the guys installing shit wrong and I’m fixing it. The project manager not ordering the correct materials, setting unrealistic goals like being at 2 or 3 different places in the same day to measure, install, make deliveries, all sorts of shit. And when he’s wrong, it’s not as simple as saying “hey this showed up, it’s not enough or this is the wrong part” no you have to build a whole case to PROVE he was wrong. We hit a rough patch the last 2 years because of a piss poor installer, that was their baby, he was stealing hours, installing shit wrong all the time. Never gave a fuck about anything. We fired him and then fired a superintendent that was an asshole to everyone. There have been only 4 guys in the field. And it’s been trying to play catch up, fixing all the problems, trying to take on new jobs, dealing with everything. It never stops and hasn’t. We are all burnt out big time. And it got bad enough to where me and another guy got laid off back in November, and there’s only our foreman and one leadman doing all the work. And the PM just takes time off whenever he wants. So shit isn’t and can’t get done.
I’m pissed off without a job and pissed off with one.
Into my personal life. I quit drinking, quit smoking. I don’t do shit anymore I used to skate when I was younger and go out frequently with my friends. I was only going to work and going home these last 5 years. Barely went on any vacation. And now I just feel so lonely and abandoned, none of my friends invite me to do anything anymore. Like for example my best friend hasn’t called me or anything in months, the last time he called he just wanted to use my truck to help him move into his new apartment, and same for my cousin, haven’t heard from him for months and just called to use my truck. And when I’ve called for help “busy”. Pieces of shit, they don’t remember years ago, when I used to drive them around everywhere, take them to work when they didn’t have a car, listen to all their hardships over the phone. Now when I really need it the most they are busy dealing with life. We fucking all are we all have problems. I’m just so angry at them now. My best friend chooses his Gen Z 20 year old co workers to hangout with. My cousin and his gf (known her for 25 years) is still best friends with my ex gf who was a cheater, mentally ill schizophrenic (not being a dick, she actually is) hooked on Xanax, accusing me of cheating all the time. Constant fighting, multiple 5150s, and just all sorts of shit. It was hell. And I still have dreams about her and it drives me crazy me nuts. When I got sober, I got counseling and therapy and talked about all of this. Why does it still haunt me almost 10 years later?
I feel so scared for my future and everything going on all at the same time. I have constant anxiety, depression and just anger. It makes me not want to do anything but just stay inside but that drives me nuts to. I walk my dog 5 miles everyday, I workout a few times a week. I try to cook all my food from scratch. I try to play video games. I just started reading books again. But it seems like nothing helps. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I feel so fucking alone and so much stress and pressure. I wish I had friends again or gf but I really don’t want to experience anymore bullshit right now.
If this was a hard read for people I’m sorry, my mind is all over the place. I haven’t done anything about these feelings in years just being a man and dealing with it. I was just trying to put as many thoughts out there on paper to help alleviate this feeling. This is my first post idk how this site works yet. Im an open book, I’ll answer any questions you may have. Thanks for reading my jumbled mess.
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Points of view
Hey man, it sounds like you’re really going through a lot right now. 😣 I totally get why you're feeling overwhelmed with everything on your plate, but give yourself some credit for kicking the alcohol and weed habits—those are huge wins!! 🎉 It’s okay to feel angry and frustrated sometimes, especially when life feels like it's just piling on more stress without letting up. Maybe try reaching out to some new folks or find a community with similar interests? You’d be surprised how much those connections can reignite a spark of joy! Keep hangin’ in there—you’ve already overcome so much! ✌️
Dude, I get it! Your life seems like a constant rollercoaster of chaos and stress, and that sucks big time. But c'mon, you're 31!! You’ve got tons of time to turn this around. Maybe quit blaming your buddies for being MIA—people get wrapped up in their own dramas. It’s a kick in the nuts, but that's life sometimes 🤷♂️. Focus on rediscovering your old passions like skating or pickin' up some new hobbies; it could do wonders for your mental space. Change is slow, but you already ditched booze and weed—you're stronger than you give yourself credit for!! Keep hustling!!!
Man, sounds like you’re caught in one hell of a cycle right now. I feel for you, but maybe it's time to look at it from another angle. It’s tough dealing with family responsibilities and job stress; that combo can really mess with your head. Still, you've made some solid steps already by quitting drinking and smoking—props for that! Maybe it's not about getting everything perfect all at once. Starting small might be the way to go; focus on what makes you happy, even if it’s just a bit of skating or something new like painting or music. Shit doesn’t change overnight, but little wins can add up over time. Give yourself some grace—you deserve it!
man, i feel you, but let's be real for a sec—life's tough and unpredictable, but you've got the strength to handle it. ever thought that maybe you're placing too much blame on everyone else? it's easy to lash out when we're feeling lost and overwhelmed; 🙄 yeah, your friends might not be perfect but neither is anyone else; besides that, they're probably caught up in their own messes just like you. don't let bitterness keep you from rebuilding those connections or finding new ones. you’ve already conquered some major hurdles like kicking alcohol and weed which shows serious determination! 🏆 take baby steps towards what brings you joy—dust off that skateboard or find a community activity. change won’t come overnight and it ain't always easy but trust me, it's worth the grind!!!
Hey man, it’s clear you’re juggling a lot and that would be tough on anyone. You've already taken steps to change your life by quitting drinking and smoking—huge achievements! Hang in there with your grandparents; being there for family, despite frustrations, shows strength. It might help to focus on smaller goals each day rather than feeling overwhelmed by everything at once. Since you've been through therapy before, maybe revisiting it could offer some relief; you're stronger than you think! Keep pushing forward—you’ve got this. 💪
Hey there. I can see why you're feeling like you're stuck in a never-ending loop of stress, but let’s break it down. You’re dealing with intense family responsibilities and a chaotic work environment!!! that's enough to drain anyone mentally and physically.... It sounds like you’ve been caught up fixing other people's messes both at home and work without catching a break.... While it’s commendable you've quit drinking and weed (seriously, that’s no small feat!!), the frustration might be because these are just stepping stones rather than the complete journey towards peace. Rather than focusing on others' shortcomings or what they aren’t doing for you, maybe it's time to re-evaluate your relationships and set some boundaries to protect your own mental health. Diving into activities like skating again or even exploring new hobbies could help shift your focus from anger towards constructive outlets.
Change is hard, but taking steps towards nurturing yourself amidst all this chaos is crucial. Keep pushing forward; the path isn't easy, but reclaiming your happiness is worth every effort!
Congrats!! You’ve done significant work by quitting alcohol and weed—an achievement many struggle with—and perhaps now is the time for self-kindness and exploring new avenues or rekindling old joys like skating. Sometimes realigning our focus towards internal growth rather than external approval can yield profound peace. Keep holding onto those small victories—they build the foundation for larger successes down the road!
It's commendable that you've conquered significant personal battles already—quitting alcohol and weed is not trivial, so kudos for that resilience. One thing I've found is that sometimes shaking up your environment can provide a fresh perspective; perhaps exploring new social circles or even attending local meetups could rekindle some enthusiasm. As for the isolation from friends, it's frustrating, but people often drift when life demands their attention elsewhere. Maybe initiating contact with an understanding peer group could be a pathway to genuine support and shared experiences. Remember, you're in the driver's seat of your narrative—adjust the route as needed to find balance amid chaos.
Hey, I totally hear you. It sounds like you've been doing a lot for everyone else and it makes sense why you'd feel burned out 🙁. It’s a tough spot to be in, balancing family responsibilities with the stress of work and not having much time for yourself. But dude, you've already made some big strides by quitting drinking and smoking—that's no small feat! Maybe it's time to focus a bit on what truly makes you happy and redefine your own goals 🤔. Something as simple as picking up that skateboard again could bring back some joy or even exploring something new to break the routine. Remember, you're stronger than you give yourself credit for 💪; every little positive change can help build towards getting out of this rough patch. Stay hopeful, man! 😊
Dude, your situation is tough, no doubt about it; but just sitting around being pissed at the world ain't gonna change much!!! You're dealing with a lot of crap — family issues, work stress, and loneliness are heavy weights. But here's the thing: blaming everyone else is only gonna take you so far. Your friends might not be stepping up like they should, but maybe it's time to focus more on yourself and less on what they're not doing. Dive into activities that make you happy or bring peace — skating sounds dope! Don't overlook how far you've come; kicking booze and weed's a big deal!! Start small man, little improvements day by day. Keep at it because, honestly? You've got this!!!!
Dude, sounds like life's been throwing punches left and right; you’ve been dealing with a lot more than most people can handle without losing their marbles! Balancing family, especially with your grandpa's dementia, and dealing with job chaos, is like juggling fireballs. It’s no wonder you’re burning out!!! But think of this— sometimes it's about finding that one thing that reignites the passion or a sense of normalcy; I remember when I hit rock bottom, picking up an old hobby helped me find my footing again💡. Maybe revisiting skateboarding or trying something new entirely could be a game-changer. Rebuilding connections might seem daunting now, but leaning into what genuinely brings joy could gradually lift some weight off your
hey dude, it’s obvious you’re going through some heavy stuff, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed. balancing family duties while managing personal struggles and work chaos is a lot for anyone. but remember, even in the worst of times, you've managed to quit alcohol and weed—major props! maybe consider talking with your grandparents or mom about sharing responsibilities more evenly at home; might take some weight off your shoulders. focus on daily victories instead of everything at once. finding an online community or support group could help too—sometimes strangers give the best advice and understanding. keep hanging in there; things can get better with time!
sounds like life's serving you one hell of a cocktail, huh? dealing with family responsibilities while grappling with work stress and no backup from your "friends" can make anyone feel on the brink. but hey, you've already proved you're capable of handling major changes by quitting booze and weed; maybe it’s time to redirect that willpower towards setting some personal boundaries?. it might also help to not let anger steal all the attention—channel it into something productive or creative; tackle those internal wars like they're projects because if anything, you've shown you're damn good at fixing messes, even when they aren't yours!!!!!
man, your situation kinda sounds like a perfect storm that's brewing up every ounce of frustration and it’s no wonder you're fed up. being stuck in a cycle where everything feels out of control yet somehow still your responsibility is brutal, especially with family pressures and work chaos tearing you in every direction!!!