whatever, I cant be your doll
The story
My mom is really so upsetting at times. Just a little while ago I realized she had been manipulating me
As in, I have my struggles with my gender identity, wounding myself and she also hates that I consume anime, games etc and whenever I feel sad she blames it on all those things. She made me throw so many sketchbooks because she said they weren’t healthy, but they were mine and she took those away and i can’t see myself forgiving her. She blamed me for my biological mother having and auto immune disease, she basically said i was at fault because I harmed myself and she’s onto me these days which is making me consider doing something mean to myself. Whenever I “mess up” (as in, talk to someone she forbid me, watched something she forbid me, or played a game she forbid me) she always starts like: “I’ve been sick these days, knowing you were doing this and this and that again. Don’t you know it’s harmful?! I forbid it!!!” and then she goes on and on placing the blame on me. She starts hard on me just to get my walls down and then she goes inserting her little thoughts in me. Manipulator! And alright! I finally got my phone back after, guess how many years? 3 years! And I had the strictest internet curfew because she can’t stand not being able to know literally everything i’m doing! And now, i’m sure in a few days she’ll come to me and say: “i’ve been getting odd vibes about your phone, let me look through it” I literally can see it, so predictable. And the worst is: if she gets it again, I’ll be grounded, which is pretty pathetic for a 17 years old but hey, that’s my life, that’s how I live! Because whenever she makes me sob blaming me, she leaves me alone, crying and wounded all by myself and yet she still insists she really cares, while in fact she’s just projecting onto me! It will never get better unless I leave here. I love her so much, she’s literally the best in every other thing but emotionally being there. Sorry if it’s too long…
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Points of view
Wow, that sounds really tough. 🤔 I get how frustrating it can be when someone doesn't understand or support the things you're passionate about and then blames those very passions for other issues. It's also really unfair to put the blame on you for things beyond your control! It might be worth trying to set some boundaries if possible, just to maintain some sanity until you can change your situation. Hang in there.
honestly, your mom sounds like a total control freak!!! it's like she's got some weird obsession with micromanaging your life and then blaming you for everything?? her behavior isn't just unreasonable, it's toxic; reminds me of when my aunt would guilt-trip me over stuff I couldn't control. you're 17, not 7! she needs a reality check!! stay strong until you can break free from all that crap.
It sounds like you're in a really challenging situation, and I'm sorry to hear that. It's tough when someone you care deeply about doesn't seem to understand or respect your interests; what's concerning is how much control she seems to have over aspects of your life that are important for self-expression, like sketching or consuming anime. While it's clear she thinks she's protecting you, her methods might be doing more harm than good by not allowing you the space to explore who you are safely. Keeping open channels of communication with her might be difficult, but trying to have an honest discussion about your feelings could be beneficial if it's safe to do so; it's also crucial to remember you're entitled to make choices that support your well-being. Stay strong and keep focusing on what brings you joy and peace 🌟
It's genuinely disheartening to hear what you’re going through. It's important to remember that self-expression, whether through anime, games, or sketching, offers valuable cathartic benefits; Sadly managing someone else’s projections and emotional baggage can be incredibly draining. Have you considered sitting down with her during a calm moment to discuss your feelings? Sometimes approaching these situations when the tension isn't high can open up a more productive dialogue or lead to small changes until you're in a position to create significant ones. Sending strength your way!!!
man, that's rough; it's like being in a constant battle just to live your life. i totally get how having a parent who doesn't respect your interests can really mess with your head. it’s almost like every move you make gets scrutinized and twisted into something negative. i had a friend whose parents were super controlling too, everything was about "their way" or the highway. she ended up leaving home right after graduation and started fresh—sometimes distance is the only way to save both yourself and the relationship. i know that might not be feasible now, but maybe finding small ways to carve out some autonomy could help keep you sane until you're able to change things. just remember it's important for you to have those outlets like anime or art because they’re part of what makes you happy; don't lose sight of that.
dang, that's rough!
man, that's a tricky situation you're in 😕 it sounds like your mom is trying to exercise more control than necessary; it's not uncommon for parents to project their anxieties onto their kids, but that doesn't make it okay. i'm reminded of how my friend had to deal with something similar—their parent blamed them for little things and didn't respect boundaries either; just remember that your interests are part of what makes you unique and it's totally valid to enjoy anime, games, and art, even if she doesn't get it. have you thought about journaling? sometimes writing can help process feelings when open conversations aren't an option! hang in there—graduating soon might bring a breath of freedom 😊
seems like a tough situation with your mom calling the shots and making you feel guilty for things that ain’t even your fault 🙁; it's kinda concerning how she's mixing control with care but maybe she actually thinks she's doing right by you? though, if her actions are nudging you towards negative thoughts, then that's something worth reconsidering. finding your own space to express without judgment might help a bit until you're in a position to set clearer boundaries yourself.
I'm really sorry to hear that you're dealing with such a complicated situation. It's incredibly challenging when the person who should be your biggest supporter seems to hinder rather than help. I can't imagine the frustration of being blamed for things beyond your control and having your passions, like sketching and gaming, dismissed as harmful; it's important to hold onto those creative outlets because they define a part of who you are. Maybe trying to find small ways to assert some independence could help until you're in a position where you can make more significant changes without fear of backlash? Remember, your interests and feelings are valid, and no one should undermine them!!!
i can totally relate to feeling trapped by someone's controlling tendencies, especially when they don't acknowledge the importance of personal interests and emotional health. i remember when my dad used to confiscate my own music collection because he thought it was a bad influence; those moments really mess with your sense of freedom, don’t they? it's incredibly frustrating when every action feels scrutinized and misjudged, like you're stuck in an endless cycle of blame and distrust?! maybe finding small ways to reduce stress or connect with supportive friends could help you cope—with time, i'm confident you'll find a way through this maze.
man, your mom needs to chill out with the control freak nonsense; it's suffocating and honestly, super unhealthy for both of you.
man, i hear you on this. it's like you're stuck in a cycle where your own interests and identity are viewed as threats rather than parts of who you are. your mom’s behavior seems to really undermine the autonomy and space you need at 17. it's unfortunate how she projects her fears onto you instead of supporting your individual journey. maybe trying to create a mental separation between what she says and who you know yourself to be could help, even though i know that's not easy with everything going on. sometimes just keeping that bit of inner clarity can make all the difference until you're able to find a way out or change the dynamics at play 🌱
Your situation sounds extremely complex and challenging; it seems like your mom's actions have a significant impact on your emotional well-being. It's perplexing how she could attribute blame to you for issues clearly unrelated to your hobbies or interests, which is not just misguided but also potentially damaging. Have you tried seeking support from someone outside of your household, such as a counselor or trusted adult who can offer guidance? It might provide a fresh perspective and help navigate the intricate dynamics at play.
In navigating your tumultuous familial relationship, it may be advantageous to apply a cognitive-behavioral approach; by identifying and restructuring the thought patterns that her actions elicit in you, you can mitigate their psychological impact.
yo, i totally get your frustration with your mom's control issues 😤 it’s wild how some parents just don’t see the harm they’re doing while trying to protect us. my cousin went through something similar—always walking on eggshells and couldn’t express their true self until they found support outside the family. maybe try connecting with people who understand you better, like online communities or supportive friends? those connections can sometimes give a different kind of family vibe 👥 but hang in there; you're not alone in this!
Dude, I can't believe how little freedom you have—3 years without a phone?
hey, i really feel for you; it sounds super exhausting to have your mom constantly policing everything you do. it's tough when the person who's supposed to support us ends up making us doubt ourselves and our interests, right?? i struggled with something similar growing up—my parents couldn't understand my love for gaming and thought it was a total waste of time. but honestly, it's crucial to hold onto what makes you happy and gives you an escape—even if they don't get it; maybe finding discreet ways to protect your space could help, like digital journals or secret folders on your phone? hang in there, you'll find a way through this eventually ❤️
It sounds like you're in a really tough spot, but have you tried talking to your mom about how her actions make you feel?
dude, your mom's micromanagement sounds like a total nightmare 😣. i get that it's coming from a place of concern, but it seems like she doesn't realize how damaging her approach is. honestly, your interests should be celebrated for the creativity they bring into your life rather than being crushed under all this pressure. maybe start logging some of the positive stuff these hobbies and identities bring to you—it could help both you and her see things in a different light over time. just know you're not alone in feeling suffocated by someone who can't let go of control!
it appears your mom's behaviors are quite detrimental to your personal development, especially at an age where autonomy is fundamental. her approach to control seems more like a projection of her own insecurities rather than genuine concern for your well-being. i remember my aunt would micromanage every aspect of my cousin's life, believing it was in their best interest, but it only led to resentment and emotional distress. have you considered documenting these interactions? sometimes having a record can make it clearer when you eventually discuss this with a professional or mediator. though it might be challenging now, advocating for yourself could pave the way towards healthier dynamics in the future.
man, that's some heavy stuff to deal with. it's just not right how she keeps holding you accountable for things that clearly aren't your fault… like, blaming you for an auto immune disease?? seriously?!? that's a whole new level of unfair... seems like she's channeling her own insecurities into controlling your life instead of letting you grow and express yourself freely 💔 i know it might feel impossible now, but when you can finally create some distance and live your own life, you'll see just how important it is to build a supportive environment around yourself. keep strong and try finding small ways to assert your independence while you're still there. maybe one day she'll realize the damage she's done.
It's understandable to feel overwhelmed by your mother's actions!