I hate my parents so much but I need a hug
The story
I do not like my parents. I have an older brother and it's obcvous that he's the golden child, my parents would do anything to make him happy while I'm just there wanting to be acknowleged and maybe respected? To give some context I am transgender and gay, since I was 11 I was struggling with my identity.(I'm now 16) At 13 I started self-harming and I was struggling mentally. During that time I met my best friend, he is also trans. His dad is more supportive than my parents are so he got to wear boy clothes, got to have short hair etc. My parents weren't really fond of him and I think they wanted to have a reason to make me cut him out. Eventually me and my friend started dating and he was the true love to me. On my 14th birthday I decided to fuck it all and I gave myself a nice short haircut. My parents freaked out and assumed it was my friend who was poisoning my brain but it was a decison I made on my own due to gender dysphoria. My parents forbid me from talking to him and it crushed me, we continued to date in secret for a few months more but came the moment when we broke up. I stopped texting him for a few minutes and he was really worried because I was very close to the edge of unaliving myself, he texted my mom basically begging her to check up on me. I was not trying to kill myself but I thought that my mom would ask what's wrong but I was so so wrong. She started complaining that she has it harder than me, how dare I even think of dying and she started listing all her problems and issues. That sucked. Few months later my parents found out about my self-harm and it was just a night of my parents screaming at me that it's disgusting, that I should be ashamed of it, that I don't have a reason to do all this. Many other hurtful things were said by them but I think what stuck the most was my dad asking "what did you use? do you want me to buy you real razors?" and then screaming at me. Few months later I was trying to attempt suicide, the only person whom I said goodbye to was my best friend, he threatened to call my mom and I think that was the only reason I got out of the noose. I lied down on the floor, my brother rushed into my room and called my mom. She promised that she won't be mad at me and that I should go to her. She lied. I did not hear a single sentence that would try to comfort me. My parents started another screaming session and I think what hurt me the most was what my mom said, "look at your brother how sad he is because of what you did". My brother then got comforted by my mom while I was just left in my room crying with my dad yelling at me, he was extremely homophobic and transphobic then as well. I was forbidden from going to school, I had my electronics taken away and I couldn't leave the house for a week. Then it was the summer holidays, then highschool started. 1st year in highschool was alright I guess but my best friend found a new parnter and I was getting depressed again, but it didn't work out between them. I feel bad for saying this but I'm happy it didn't. We promised eachother that once I turn 18 and move out we're gonna be togheter not as friend nor as a couple. Just us 2. Now I'm in 2nd grade and a few months ago my brother got a girlfriend, it wouldv'e been fine except for the fact that he's 21 and I think she's 15/16. He gets to sleepover at her place 3 hours away for WEEK at a time and I couldn't go to sleepovers to my friend who lived 15 minutes away. There are 2 things related to his relationship with that girl that genuenly made me cry: 1st was when before they got all official my mom told me "I'm so worried about your brother, what if she breaks his heart?". Mother you were cheering when you found out that the love of my life left me? You didn't give a shit about my broken heart? 2nd was when during like additional english lesson at a language school we were discussing stereotypes and everyone was joking and I decided to join in and joked about "discord mod" stereotype and said that my brother was one. My teacher asked what's that, I explained and also said the age gap between my brother and his girlfriend and my teacher was disgusted. I then asked why is it okay for him to be a pedo but not okay for me to be gay? I then started violently crying, my teacher came to hug me, she comforted and brushed my hair with her hands, she let me cry it out as long as I needed it. The rest of the lesson was kinda akward but it was the first time in many years that I felt maternal love, even if she isn't my mom. I sometimes mention weird stuff my parents do and she always says that she's a mom herself and that it's terrifying what they're doing and that she would never to that to her children. A week later, when we were alone in the classroom she asked how I'm feeling, are my parents really that not accepting of who I am, she said that she can see that I'm fading away and if I need it she can call someone or talk with my mom to talk sense into her. I declined the last offer because it would've made it worse but I thanked her for caring. Mrs Monika if you somehow end up reading this I love you and I would like to thank you for being a better mom to me than my mom ever was, (even if we see eachother only once a week). Me and my friend recently went thrifting in secret and some time later we went ice skating(also in secret haha, and we did kiss both times, I love that weirdo). That's all I guess?
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Points of view
first and foremost, it's essential to approach your narrative with compassion for all parties involved, acknowledging the complexities of familial relationships. while i empathize with the challenges you're facing, i must gently propose that seeking a resolution through constructive dialogue could yield benefits. often, as referenced in developmental psychology, family dynamics are intricate and benefit greatly from open communication channels.
in my own experience, fostering a dialogue, even when initially met with resistance, has proven pivotal in forging understanding and mutual respect. 😊👍
consider that your parents might be operating from a place of misunderstanding rather than intentional disregard. they might lack exposure to transgender issues, which often necessitates education and patient dialogue. as noted in conflict resolution theories, empathetic listening and expressing one's needs clearly can bridge many divides.
your mention of mrs. monika demonstrates the profound impact a single supportive figure can have, and perhaps leveraging her support in a way that initiates family healing could be beneficial. 🌼 it is these small steps, these individual victories, that often pave the way for more significant change.
hoping for eventual reconciliation and understanding within your family, and recognizing the strength it takes to share your story.
yo, listen up; i get you're in a rough spot, but you've gotta see it from both sides. not saying your folks are saints, but they're probably clueless more than anything. ya know, "wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it," as tolstoy said. 🤷♂️
maybe chill a bit and try talking it out? they've got their own baggage and probs just don't get the whole trans thing. life ain't always a bed of roses, but it can turn around. 🌈
respect to mrs. monika!!! she's got your back!!!! but don't write off your parents yet. family's tricky, but sometimes it's worth giving it a shot. keep your chin up!!!! ✌️
reading your story, it's clear you're facing some tough challenges. it seems your family dynamics are complex and not always supportive. i totally get why you might feel frustrated and misunderstood.
sometimes parents just don't get it, and that can weigh heavily on someone trying to figure things out. your experiences highlight the importance of finding people who truly support you. mrs. monika seems like a beacon of hope, offering the acceptance you need right now. 🌟
while it's easy to see the difficult aspects, there might still be room for change in your family situation. with time and communication, perspectives can shift, and understanding might grow. stay strong and keep believing in the possibility of better days ahead 😊