im so tired: a highschooler's cry for help and rant
The story
i am just so tired. i am a second semester senior and i dont feel the joy everyone else feels right now and it feels like my life is in shambles and i have noting together. my family is dysfunctional, im slowly losing a grip on my grades, all my friends hate eachother (please see my college apps are ruining my friends story because suprise suprise its gotten worse), i have litearlly nothing going for me and i am writing this while sobbing uncontrollably. i am so tired, my mother has cancer so i take care of everything, litearllty everything you can imagine in a household. bills? did it. sister's swim practice? already omw. cooking? already meal prepped for the whole week. except im under appreciated and burnt out i am depressed and anxious all the time but i cant talk to my mom about it because shes already so sick i cant do that to her, my poor baby sister is going through middle school drama and im her only parental figure, and my dad hates me like he goes out of his way to ignore me and i have to look like i can hold everything together and be put together and go to school and run my four clubs that im president of and deal with my crappy friends who keep shoving their college acceptences in my face and ask me about mine and mock me and still do research and work three jobs and act like everything is ok. im so tired of life im so tired of living like this i sleep at 2am and wake up at 4:30 in the morning and i drink so much caffine everyday just to stay awake and i still have to do good in my four ap classes because everyone said i took five last year why cant i handle it. i hate everything about my life and baout me right now. i have nothing going for me no prom date no boyfriend no one to love me or to love no college to look forward to i hate my body i hate my face i hate everything about me i hate how some underclassman look up to me and i hate being called slurs and a bop and a whore around school just because i like to dress and look a certain way i hate the steryotypes i get i hate everything i wish something genuinally terrible would happen to me i dont even have time to go see my thearpist and no one understands and i cant talk to anyone. there is no light at the end of the tunnel. im so tired.
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Points of view
Dang, you're going through so much and honestly, it sounds absolutely rough!
it's astonishing how much you're balancing right now, dealing with your mom's illness and handling everything else; burnout is a very real hazard. honestly, it's infuriating that those around you aren't recognizing your efforts or the load you're carrying 😡. remember: even small steps to prioritize your mental health can make a difference, and reaching out—even if it's not in person—could bring some relief;