it's been a long time since i've felt useful in my own home. got two kids and my wife... she does everything. cooking, cleaning, taking the kids to school and their sports. she's even holding down a great full-time job! while me? I'm stuck here; trapped in this weird cycle of burnout that's been dragging on for years now... i can't do anything around the house cause of it... can't help her at all...

makes me feel like i'm just weighing everyone down instead of helping lift them up. okay... i know people say "mental health comes first" and yeah, i wanna believe that but it's hard when your wife's doing what feels like everything, solo. sometimes i'm just sitting there thinking about how much better off they'd be if i wasn't here; you ever wonder how things would change if you were just gone?

sometimes i'll try to push through it... get up and make an effort or something but then it's like my energy evaporates before anything even gets started! meanwhile she's juggling a million things effortlessly... wish i could harness some of that strength.

but maybe it's more than burnout? dunno... maybe there's something else wrong with me. it's not just physical tiredness but emotional too? whatever it is, it’s frustrating as hell!! feel useless every damn day while watching someone else carry more than their fair share.

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