I recently wrote a post on Facebook, and it censored me, considering the very elements I needed to bring to light regarding events in my family. I had to post it in a WhatsApp group to avoid falling into the same trap as the previous platform.

That hurt me completely. For a long time, I had sought out the public eye about what had happened with my family, my experiences, and what it meant to me to lose them as a safe zone. As usual, I was another one of those individuals who kept what happened at home to themselves, normalizing the situation over time, even though the outside world showed me a completely different normality than what I experienced at home and through family interactions.

I was one of those who expressed that what I saw on television and other media outlets was solely to sell propaganda. In fact, they even convinced me that Children's Day was purely a commercial component. In that family, I lived isolated from the world. That is, I couldn't bring friends home, I couldn't choose what the market demanded, I had to stick to the music my parents liked, I didn't go to places other people went too, and everything was always driven by a desire to view family relationships and events as supreme and as beings that simply err. It was a desire to justify why we didn't go out and interact with the outside world. My mother lived with a desire for home, and besides, she felt that it was hers and she could do whatever she wanted, with my father backing her up, which made me feel like I couldn't belong anywhere outside the home like my own. My moments when I felt closest to people, where I could joke around and play games, surrounded by my parents, were always segregated, denigrated, and even seen as reasons for scolding for issues that were never really addressed; in fact, they ruined the moment for me.

Regarding my abilities, it was also the same. In sales, creativity, studies, and lifestyle, my mother liked to call the shots, belittling points of view other than her own and also seeking to alleviate the fact that she didn't know the true path either, as a way of making her perspective supreme. My father always told me to blindly accept her, and that was also the case with his second wife. In both homes, my university studies were sabotaged through the absorption of both families due to my absence from their events. It always turned out to be a family that sought to sabotage my progress or make it difficult, only to then applaud any achievement despite everything, in other words, evading the responsibility of having reached the goal under pressure.

They all turned out to be a family of monsters, of people who also wanted to profit monetarily from my progress if it was achieved, without any limitations. They were saboteurs and, on top of that, profiteers. Added to this, they liked to speak ill of me behind my back, gang up on me, and favor their compliance. Without a doubt, they wanted me down, adding to their support for individuals who wanted to harm me, and also avoiding news about it. The only reason they currently act with respect is because I show the consequences of their actions. Their desire as good individuals lies only in preventing them, because if there aren't any, they resort to the same practice. Ironically, being the instigators of the events, they also sought complacency despite their reactions. They were people who sought to see me down and not feel guilty thanks to me, demonstrating precisely the consequences of their actions.

Right now, I find myself in conditions I like, and they have also been the target of attack, through sabotage from outside, intended to make me a destabilizing factor in the environment. I wanted to confront them with therapists, but they all became counters to my need to vent, consolidating me on the ground. To ensure that these relatives wouldn't be invasive in my search for a therapist given my reactions, I needed to find someone who would express the end of therapy by agreeing to return if it was deemed necessary, as is often the case, in order to put an end to that path. Even the therapists turned away, forcing me to be manipulative in order to escape their clutches. Of course, when there's no outside support and internal pressure is great, social solutions based on outside support only end up being maladaptive.

The fact that Facebook censored, or at least reviewed, my post made me feel like there was no way out. No therapist wanted to help me, and I didn't have a social network. They only sought to persuade me to repair my problems the point. That is, to form a vision that was once again complacent and disarmed, at the mercy of others, just as my parents wanted. It's not fair that I was in this very complex situation, a psychological framework, and everyone was collaborating to consolidate me there, that is, diverting me from my interests. No one wanted to help me; all those who tried simply based their help on criticizing me, instead of protecting themselves with my circumstances. Not one was able to admit that they couldn't help me. I had to say goodbye to all these people.

I had to let go of all the lives I had built, given that they were at the mercy of a profile that would try to pressure me to return to it, when I didn't want to return. Now has been an escape from the influences of that environment I was in, allowing me to function completely normally, the mechanisms even being unconscious, simply by letting myself be guided by intuition.

Furthermore, with the posts I'd already made about my family, I felt pained because no one gave a like or any icon that expressed receptivity. In other words, when it came to talking about the issues my family had asked me, I felt alone. I felt like everyone was once again supporting my consolidation of it, being indifferent to how I treated them, all in order to support the stereotypes. I had to take a risk, removing many family members from the mix, the goal of which was to get me out of my peaceful life, through such support and meetings, which no one had even asked me about. An aunt, excited precisely by having me at the mercy of domination, through fear—of all people in the world—wondered, why do I have to be pleasing to those who would like to dominate? Of course, this was the spirit of my parents with my upbringing, of subjugation so they could then make us their servants. It's an abuse of power to isolate an innocent child through prejudice, to keep them at the mercy of complacency, precisely because of the prejudices that create walls that hide what's going on within the family.

Without a doubt, from childhood until now, all of this has resulted in a nightmare for me. I wanted to reveal myself to this system and was prevented, then I returned but was also undermined, and now this third time, I wasn't going to allow myself to be left behind. I prefer to start over, without these relationships, no matter what. Regarding therapists, there's nothing more unpleasant than coming to them with your problem, and they simply seek to smooth it over, rather than affirming that they can't handle it. Personally, I don't see that it has motivated me to take action on my own, through my own visions; after all, they were the only ones that helped me feel good.

I had to look after my life, my future, because no one else was doing it. Indeed, no one supported her, however, that only tells me that these people are not the right ones for me.

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