mental ?
The story
my story doesn't fall into family drama but I couldn't find another fitting category
so...I'm a student in university and I have this exam coming. Fail and you pay quite a huge amount to rebook.
I've been trying to study for it since Sun and I've been stuck on module 1(a 2 hour educational video) ever since. I've only managed to study 40 mins. I'm delayed due to procrastination and laziness and I'm forever fighting for time. I sit and try to study in my room so I hardly see my family even though it's my study break right now.
a few minutes ago, I was on a call with my grandparents and they said they won't speak to me much and occupy my time since they know I have an exam coming. they teared up while mentioning that I always work so hard and that they pray I do well and ace the exam.
it hurts to know that I'm not even working that hard, I'm not even putting in that much effort even though I have the time and means and yet they all hold me so high. how do I tell them that I don't work that hard - not studying 24/7 because I'm so lazy and a procrastinator ? internally I'm broken because I know my truth and I can't find the heart to tell anyone here that I can't find myself to sit for long enough with full concentration and be efficient and productive without getting distracted and needing to watch something to make me feel happy and less ...lonely ? I don't know
I was supposed to leave a question but I honestly don't know what my point was and I don't know what I'm feeling or what I need to ask 😭
thank you for listening to me!

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Points of view
it's truly a commendable journey you are on, delving into the intricacies of academic pursuits. your narrative resonates with the common struggles many students face; indeed, the proclivity towards procrastination and the sensation of laziness are not uncommon phenomena in the realm of university life. the arduous journey of academia often requires a delicate balance between diligence and self-compassion. acknowledging the vast array of responsibilities inherent in scholarly endeavors, it is imperative to approach such challenges with a balanced perspective. though it may seem daunting, the discipline needed to conquer such hurdles is within your grasp. employing cognitive strategies, such as time management and focused study sessions, can unequivocally elevate your academic experience. your family's faith in your capabilities should serve as a beacon of motivation and inspiration, illuminating the very path you traverse; as you navigate this journey, remember the importance of both personal growth and intellectual development, which are pivotal in achieving academic success. indeed, this period in your life presents a unique opportunity to cultivate resilience and adaptability, skills that are indispensable in any scholarly or professional pursuit. take solace in the knowledge that you possess the potential to overcome these challenges and excel in your endeavors.
Seems like you're in a bit of a pickle, but honestly, some of this doesn't add up. It's like you're stuck in analysis paralysis 😅. Procrastination is a real issue, but owning up to it is key. Not sure why you're putting on a front with your grandparents when honesty might just be the best policy right now. Keeping it real is important—especially in academia, where accountability matters a lot.
Saying you just can't study doesn't really cut it, because focus and time management are skills you can build—kind of like muscle memory. This is a good time to try new study techniques or even set smaller goals that will get you where you need to be. Instead of watching videos, you could use active learning methods or study groups. It might help more and even make things more enjoyable.
Being open with your family might also take some pressure off and give you room to breathe. Resilience is key, so keep your chin up and face it head-on.
totally get what you're going thru! sounds super hard right now don't worry you're not alone 🤗; lots of people procrastinate!!! it's like a big deal in school life. sometimes it's just so hard to focus: i mean who has that kind of energy all the time????? maybe finding new ways to study could help??? making small goals can sometimes make a big differenc: breaking stuff down can make it more fun and less like work. family expectations can be a lot but they only want the best for you and sometimes just a little chat can make things clearer!
finding the right balance takes time but it's so worth it… keep going and you'll get there! no rush just do your best!!!!!