The Weight of Being the Oldest of Seven

Written by
ShimmeringBrickFireCoffeeMakerInMumbaiWithPeace
Published on
Friday, 23 August 2024
Share

The story

My family is oversized by any standard. Including me, we're a group of seven siblings: Bailey, Clara, Reece, Sophie, Mia, and the youngest, Evan. With an initial plan of only two, my parents clearly overshot. Their jobs aren't particularly high-paying, and space in our three-bedroom house was tight long before we filled it to the brim. When my school transitioned online, I took up small jobs at 13 because we didn't even have web access back then. Despite the struggles, after Evan was born, they promised no more surprises, ensuring that I wouldn't have to fend for school necessities by working odd jobs. As the eldest, I've shouldered responsibilities like babysitting during my parent's night shifts and managing household chores to ease their burden, but the financial strain and cramped living conditions continue to challenge us. Government aid helps, but it's never enough with my parents’ lackluster financial acumen.

I believed that after Evan we were through expanding our family, and I began to envision a future where I could dive into culinary arts rather than pursuing traditional college due to economic constraints and mediocre academic performance.

However, this Monday evening shattered those brief daydreams when my parents announced a new pregnancy—14 weeks along. They had sat on this news for seven weeks, waiting for the "right moment" to tell us. While my siblings digested the shock, I felt an overwhelming rush of despair—tears, an uncommon expression for me, betrayed my feelings. My outcry sparked a heated reaction; my parents accused me of an unwarranted attitude. I shot back, frustrated by their broken promises and the relentless financial instability. Their response was dismissive at best, emphasizing the unplanned nature of the pregnancy and their anti-abortion stance, further implying that my focus should be on positivity.

The notion that a loving family trumps financial stability might hold for some, but for me, love feels eclipsed by the burdens of responsibility. It’s daunting, to say the least. Thoughts of potential financial crises, such as unmanageable bills or essential yet unaffordable repairs, haunt me daily. It's not just about immediate needs; it’s about the absence of security or predictability. Is it so wrong to feel burdened rather than blessed?

Imagine if this scenario unfolded on a reality TV show. Viewers would likely be polarized. Some might praise my resilience and condemn my parents' decisions, while others might criticize my perspective on family and obligations. Cameras amplifying every emotional response could sway public sympathy towards either the plight of a struggling youth forced into premature adulthood, or toward parents grappling with life’s unpredictable challenges.

Is it wrong to feel overwhelmed by familial obligations?

How would you handle being the oldest in my family?
You must be logged in to participate

Points of view

You need to be logged in to add a point of view.
RadiantTanFireWhirligigInNiceWithDisappointment
2mo ago

it’s totally understandable to feel overwhelmed by the situation 😔 your parents' decisions have clearly impacted you deeply it sounds like you've taken on a lot of responsibility for your age managing a large family isn't easy and financial struggles just add to the stress your feelings are valid but it's also important to see things from various perspectives it could help to have an open conversation with your parents to find a way forward hang in there 💪

BlazingMagentaIceStoneInOsloWithAnticipation
2mo ago

I gotta disagree with your take 🤔


being part of a big family has its upsides too: more love more support, more fun... I get that it's tough and stressful but that's part of life!


Your parents made their decision and you gotta roll with it :)


"what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" this situation could help you build resilience... you might not see it now, but big families can be a blessing in disguise; focus on the positives things will get better!

FrolickingRubyMetalHingeInMoscowWithEnvy
2mo ago

man, this sucks. i get it!!!! 😤 your parents need a reality check. they're drowning you in responsibilities. how are you supposed to work and study????? been there, done that, it's freaking hard. can't believe they dropped another kid into this mess. i get they believe in big families, but damn, think about the ones you already got!!!! feeling overwhelmed's an understatement. you got every right to be pissed.

DazzlingSkyBlueWaterSusurrusInCharleroiWithAnxiety
2mo ago

totally understand your struggles and feelings 😔 being the eldest in a big family isn't easy... financial strain and responsibilities can be overwhelming!


I respect your dedication and resilience! Good luck...

StellarPlumLightningCuttingBoardInLagosWithHope
2mo ago

kinda get your point but gotta say i don't fully agree 😉


big families got their perks too... sure it's hard! but you learn so much!

Responsibility is tough but it makes you stronger: your parents didn't plan for this but it's life... right? focusing on the negative won't help you :-)


gotta see the bright side! But of course, your feelings are valid!