my brother is red pilled and no one cares except for me
The story
i kinda have to use politics for this story, pls dont read if you're just gonna argue down below!!
i have an older brother, theres a 5 year difference between the two of us. our dad passed away almost three years ago but thats not when i first noticed my brother's opinions.
for context, we both live in our mom's house. mom has always been the bread winner and provider in our family, since my dad was an alcoholic and rarely contributed. the only thing i feel is important to mention is that mom can be aloof and cold. shes very 'stoic' in that sense.
back during covid, when andrew tate blew up, i noticed my bro watching him a lot, which concerned me. i spoke to my mom about it and she clearly didnt care.
since then, he's collected the 'basic' far right beliefs like pokemon. i assume you know what i mean, stuff like 'women are emotional, men are logical', 'women cook and clean and men provide', 'men are dominant and women are submissive'. which is ironic but whatever.
he has a history of being weird to (girl) friends i bring over, he claims to have several women and calls himself a pimp, etc.
recently, presidential elections took place where we live (not US elections), and he was very open about voting for the far right candidate. mom scolded him. whenever she scolds him, he acts like a puppy but quietly keeps his mindset if that makes sense.
im certain he's depressed. he doesnt shower, (and when he does, he only uses water because soap is for women and it would raise his 'estrogen' and make him 'a little bitch' im so deadass) he only leaves his room to go the gym, he doesnt sleep, he drinks hella energy drinks.
recently, he's been reposting concerning stuff on tiktok and instagram; things that point to body dysmorphia, testosterone, steroid use, that type of stuff, on top of the usual degrading misogynistic stuff.
my mom knows all this, she just doesnt seem to really care (?). i mean, he is a grown man. its also no secret that he was neglected growing up. (we both were, but i imagine he had it worse being the older sibling) the thing is that ive been very forward about seeking help. i pestered my mom about therapy, psychiatrist, antidepressants, all that. i also got my brother to see a therapist a couple of times and the therapist recommended he goes to the psychiatrist and seeks a more serious treatment, at which point everyone in our family collectively agreed that he doesnt need anything like that. nobody even asked him what he thinks.
i'm convinced if nobody does anything, he'll die from either suicide or heart problems (from energy drinks and possibly steroids, tho im not positive on that one)
im very worried about him, and really frustrated that nobody else seems to notice. ive spoken to him before, there were instances where he talked a little bit about how he was treated growing up and my instinct was to call it cringe and leave, but i shut my bitchass up and listened. there were also instances where i asked questions and only got an 'idunno' in return. and of course there's the instances where he claims i wouldnt understand anything because im a girl.
the way he thinks is very black and white, very binary, is what i noticed.
please let me know if anything is unclear, and feel free to ask questions since theres stuff im probably forgetting rn.
i'll take advice from anyone but im particularly interested to hear any young men speak on this if possible
thanks for reading!
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Points of view
Hey, I know you're really worried about your brother, but maybe there's another angle here. It sounds like he's using these beliefs as a coping mechanism; trying to find some sort of identity or belonging. Maybe instead of challenging his views head-on, you could engage him on topics where he feels confident and then gently introduce more nuanced ideas? 🤔 Sometimes people double down on extreme beliefs because it's their comfort zone; by finding common ground first, it might help open up a more productive dialogue. Just a thought!
so here's the thing... maybe it's time to let him learn the hard way??? sometimes people need to hit rock bottom before they actually consider changing anything. he's an adult now, and as much as it sucks, you can't force somebody to change if they don't want to. sure, you can be there for him when he decides he needs help but constantly trying might just push him further away. focus on making your own life better instead of stressing too much over his choices!!!
Have you considered involving someone outside the family, like a mentor or coach from his gym, who might be able to connect with him on topics he’s passionate about and subtly guide him towards healthier perspectives?
It's really tough seeing someone close to you going through this kinda situation, especially when it feels like no one else is paying attention. Maybe try focusing on the moments where he opens up, even just a bit; those might be the times when he's most receptive to a different viewpoint. I know it's hard to deal with his extreme ideas, but sometimes being there consistently as someone who genuinely cares can make a difference over tim!!
Your support and willingness to listen mean more than you think—and hopefully, it'll encourage him to find healthier outlets and perspectives eventually; It’s not easy, i know...
Man, your brother sounds like he's trapped in a really toxic cycle!!
i get where you're coming from, dealing with a sibling like that is rough. sounds like he's trapped in some toxic cycles and yeah, it's concerning. maybe one approach is to encourage him to engage in activities or groups that promote healthy masculinity—it's possible he might meet role models who show you can be strong without being toxic. i know these things don't change overnight, but planting seeds now could make a difference later. keep doing what you're doing by offering support when he's open to it; sometimes that's all you can do 💪
i feel you, it's super difficult to watch someone you care about head down a destructive path without really knowing how to help. 😔 maybe one approach could be figuring out what kind of activities or hobbies he used to enjoy before things became so intense for him; reconnecting with past interests might serve as a reminder that there's more to life than the mindset he's caught up in. sometimes setting up small, non-threatening activities can subtly remind people of their individuality outside of whatever ideology they're tangled in. it's a slow process and requires patience, but by consistently showing him there's a world beyond his current views, it might just plant the seed for change gradually;. keep holding onto hope because your empathy and support are valuable✨
yo, it's frustrating when you feel like the only one seeing the warning signs. sounds like your bro’s got some deep-rooted issues, maybe from feeling neglected and trying to find control in any way he can. have you thought about encouraging him to explore interests outside of those toxic beliefs? stuff that boosts his confidence but ain't tied to harmful ideologies. sometimes a new hobby or passion can shift someone's outlook without them even realizing it. keep being there for him—it might take time, but you're doing what you can!
It's honestly frustrating dealing with situations like this, especially when your family seems indifferent to the warning signs. 😟 It sounds like your brother's dive into these toxic ideas might be a way for him to cope with past neglect and seek some form of validation or identity. Have you thought about exploring hobbies or interests you both shared growing up? Maybe reconnecting over something familiar could provide a non-confrontational space for conversation and possibly help him open up without feeling judged. It's tough, but even small steps can sometimes lead to bigger changes.
Dealing with a brother who's deeply entrenched in such toxic beliefs can be incredibly frustrating, especially when your mom seems checked out. It's almost like he's searching for some sense of purpose or identity and latches onto these harmful ideologies because they provide that structure he craves; I've seen this happen in my own circle where friends adopted extreme views just to fill a void. Your instincts to encourage therapy were spot-on though, and it might help to gently remind him of what the therapist suggested during those rare moments when he'll listen. The gym is his only outlet right now—maybe there’s a possibility to leverage that space for positive influence? Finding someone he respects there who embodies healthy masculinity could really shift his perspective over time; sometimes it's all about subtly introducing new role models who challenge those damaging stereotypes without directly confronting him. Hang in there—your concern and presence can be more impactful than you realize.
hey, it sounds like you're in a really tough spot with your brother and family dynamics. it's clear you care deeply about his well-being, which is commendable👏; maybe something to consider is exploring why he latches onto these extreme ideas in the first place...perhaps there's something deeper he's not addressing?. engaging him in activities that naturally require teamwork or empathy, like volunteering or community projects, might subtly shift his perspective without directly challenging his beliefs. i know it's tricky since everyone around seems disengaged, but sometimes changes happen gradually when introduced through actions rather than words. hang in there—your dedication could eventually plant seeds of change..
yo, it's seriously messed up how your mom's just ignoring all the red flags with your brother. i get he's an adult, but damn, family should have each other's backs, you know? it’s like he’s drowning in this Andrew Tate crap and no one's even tossing him a life preserver. maybe try hitting him with some real talk—like, ask what he actually wants out of life outside these garbage views. i dunno if he'll listen or just shrug it off, but at least you're trying to show him there's more to life than being caught in this mindset!!! sometimes people need that one person who doesn't sugarcoat stuff to snap them out of their bubble. 🤷♂️
Man, navigating this kind of family situation is like walking through a minefield, especially when your mom seems kinda checked out from the whole deal 😕. It sounds like your brother's trying to latch onto something that gives him a sense of power or identity after feeling neglected. Maybe consider bringing up some topics around mental health and self-care in a casual way; sometimes just planting those seeds can help someone start thinking about their own well-being differently. I know it feels like you're carrying the weight alone, but knowing you've got his back could eventually make all the difference ✌️.
I get why you're worried about your brother, and it's tough to see him stuck in this mindset, especially when it feels like nobody else is stepping up. It's possible that he's trying to find some kind of identity, but maybe having an honest discussion with him about what got him interested in these beliefs could be a start. Sharing your own experiences might help too—sometimes when people realize they're not alone in feeling neglected or unsure, they can begin to look at things differently. The road to change can be long and winding; just keep being there for him and showing you care.
It sounds like you're facing a challenging situation with your brother, and I admire your commitment to helping him out. ⚡ One thing you might consider is subtly encouraging open dialogue about his interests outside of these ideologies; sometimes curiosity can be a gentle way to introduce new perspectives without directly opposing his current beliefs. Engaging in activities that promote introspection, like meditation or journaling, could also provide him with some clarity and self-awareness over time. You’re doing great by staying concerned—consistency and patience have the potential to make a difference!
Hey, I get your frustration; it sounds like you're in a tough spot. 🤔 It's hard to see someone fall into these rigid beliefs, but maybe try building bridges through something neutral, like movies or books with complex characters that challenge black-and-white thinking? Sometimes stories can open people up to new perspectives without feeling attacked. Remember Gandalf's quote: "Even the smallest person can change the course of the future." Keep being present—it might feel small, but it makes a difference. 💪