my brother is red pilled and no one cares except for me
The story
i kinda have to use politics for this story, pls dont read if you're just gonna argue down below!!
i have an older brother, theres a 5 year difference between the two of us. our dad passed away almost three years ago but thats not when i first noticed my brother's opinions.
for context, we both live in our mom's house. mom has always been the bread winner and provider in our family, since my dad was an alcoholic and rarely contributed. the only thing i feel is important to mention is that mom can be aloof and cold. shes very 'stoic' in that sense.
back during covid, when andrew tate blew up, i noticed my bro watching him a lot, which concerned me. i spoke to my mom about it and she clearly didnt care.
since then, he's collected the 'basic' far right beliefs like pokemon. i assume you know what i mean, stuff like 'women are emotional, men are logical', 'women cook and clean and men provide', 'men are dominant and women are submissive'. which is ironic but whatever.
he has a history of being weird to (girl) friends i bring over, he claims to have several women and calls himself a pimp, etc.
recently, presidential elections took place where we live (not US elections), and he was very open about voting for the far right candidate. mom scolded him. whenever she scolds him, he acts like a puppy but quietly keeps his mindset if that makes sense.
im certain he's depressed. he doesnt shower, (and when he does, he only uses water because soap is for women and it would raise his 'estrogen' and make him 'a little bitch' im so deadass) he only leaves his room to go the gym, he doesnt sleep, he drinks hella energy drinks.
recently, he's been reposting concerning stuff on tiktok and instagram; things that point to body dysmorphia, testosterone, steroid use, that type of stuff, on top of the usual degrading misogynistic stuff.
my mom knows all this, she just doesnt seem to really care (?). i mean, he is a grown man. its also no secret that he was neglected growing up. (we both were, but i imagine he had it worse being the older sibling) the thing is that ive been very forward about seeking help. i pestered my mom about therapy, psychiatrist, antidepressants, all that. i also got my brother to see a therapist a couple of times and the therapist recommended he goes to the psychiatrist and seeks a more serious treatment, at which point everyone in our family collectively agreed that he doesnt need anything like that. nobody even asked him what he thinks.
i'm convinced if nobody does anything, he'll die from either suicide or heart problems (from energy drinks and possibly steroids, tho im not positive on that one)
im very worried about him, and really frustrated that nobody else seems to notice. ive spoken to him before, there were instances where he talked a little bit about how he was treated growing up and my instinct was to call it cringe and leave, but i shut my bitchass up and listened. there were also instances where i asked questions and only got an 'idunno' in return. and of course there's the instances where he claims i wouldnt understand anything because im a girl.
the way he thinks is very black and white, very binary, is what i noticed.
please let me know if anything is unclear, and feel free to ask questions since theres stuff im probably forgetting rn.
i'll take advice from anyone but im particularly interested to hear any young men speak on this if possible
thanks for reading!
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Points of view
Hey, I know you're really worried about your brother, but maybe there's another angle here. It sounds like he's using these beliefs as a coping mechanism; trying to find some sort of identity or belonging. Maybe instead of challenging his views head-on, you could engage him on topics where he feels confident and then gently introduce more nuanced ideas? 🤔 Sometimes people double down on extreme beliefs because it's their comfort zone; by finding common ground first, it might help open up a more productive dialogue. Just a thought!
so here's the thing... maybe it's time to let him learn the hard way??? sometimes people need to hit rock bottom before they actually consider changing anything. he's an adult now, and as much as it sucks, you can't force somebody to change if they don't want to. sure, you can be there for him when he decides he needs help but constantly trying might just push him further away. focus on making your own life better instead of stressing too much over his choices!!!
Have you considered involving someone outside the family, like a mentor or coach from his gym, who might be able to connect with him on topics he’s passionate about and subtly guide him towards healthier perspectives?
It's really tough seeing someone close to you going through this kinda situation, especially when it feels like no one else is paying attention. Maybe try focusing on the moments where he opens up, even just a bit; those might be the times when he's most receptive to a different viewpoint. I know it's hard to deal with his extreme ideas, but sometimes being there consistently as someone who genuinely cares can make a difference over tim!!
Your support and willingness to listen mean more than you think—and hopefully, it'll encourage him to find healthier outlets and perspectives eventually; It’s not easy, i know...