Not sure if it's me

It was my birthday. I'm middle aged, have a husband and 3 children, the youngest is about to graduate high school. My eldest asked me earlier in the week if I wanted to go have a drinking date with him (we do this about every 4 mo or so) on Saturday. I thought it was a great way to kick off my birthday on Sunday! Then my youngest asks him if he's paying for my pedicure tomorrow (on Saturday) and he says no, we already discussed that. "I went on the hike for mother's day, she chose that over the pedicure." Then my youngest explains to him yeah, but tomorrow's her birthday, and to his merit he immediately recanted and said of course! Fast forward to Sunday. No special morning anything. Middle (married) son calls me with issues about his almost former landlord, and an update on the new place. 20 min into the conversation, I ask if he called me today for any other reason. Long story short, he sees the date and blurts out a happy birthday. I invite them to join us for dinner at a local steakhouse. They agree. Youngest rushes me out the door to collect her BFF as we race to get our pedicures, mine for aging, theirs for prom. Done, go drop off BFF, go pick up youngest's finished prom dress, then she leaves with BFF to the mall. I go lay down and take a short nap. Then wait on the couch, doom scrolling until it's time to leave for dinner. We all go together, eat, the steakhouse does their birthday rendition (yelling yee-haw). Come home, husband asks if I've showered today and I said no, I showered last night. He gives me almost the 3rd degree because our unofficial standing for nookie is Sunday nights at least each week. I go shower after a bit. He bakes a completely overly sweet cake I tried last week that he saw on TikTok, opens the microwave where he put it to cool, says happy birthday, you want some?

Now here's where I'm having issues. I'm not a materialistic person. At. All. I've often asked for things like a new vacuum or can opener for Xmas or birthdays and been rebuked because those aren't "FOR you", I should ask for things for me, not the house. This year I couldn't think of a thing I wanted. So that's exactly what I got. I got my nails painted because I do that with my youngest about twice a year and this time it lined up with my bday and my eldest got to gloss over forgetting by paying for it. My middle son showed up for dinner with his wife. Ta-da. My husband paid for dinner and baked a cake he meant to bake last week. That's it. No gifts. No candles. No family singing happy birthday. Oh! Almost. My sister sent me a strawberry plant starter kit from NC and my step mother gave me a generic card from church with $20 in it that she signed hers and my dad's names in and handed it to me when I went to their place to pick up something she'd made my youngest for prom on Saturday. Told me she knew it wasn't for a couple days, but happy early birthday. It was the day before my birthday. They couldn't even remember my birth date, though it's 2 days before my half-brother's (their son). I'm almost 50, he's 36.

So I'm sitting on here asking anonymously. Am I allowed to feel sad that I have a husband of 21+ years and 3 kids and for my birthday I got to eat with them and get my toenails painted? I got the gift of eating dinner, including dessert. I KNOW I'm not materialistic, but is receiving nothing to be expected when I don't ask for anything specifically?

Side note, I'm also 5mo post-hysterectomy and can't trust my emotions to be real or not anymore. This is a genuine question.

Am I wrong to be sad?

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