Sexism in family.

Written by
ExtravagantTealEarthFirkinInSevilleWithDisappointment
Published on
Monday, 13 October 2025
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The story

not a specific story but hear me and share some troughts.

I'm an only child, and a girl but I was still aware of the preference of boys over girls in my culture from a very Young age. So I sometimes ask myself if my mother would love me more if I was a boy. She's no pick me,

She did love me her only daughter, and made me aware of man's disturbing side in reality, but over the years something was missing in our relationship. It's like she saw herself in me, which is very common in a mother-daughter relationship, except it wasn't a positive factor for her and she became aggressive with me as soon as I turned teenager, she accused me of bizarre things (like demanding to check my virginity at 14, and trust me I wasn't that kind of a kid). It's very sad to think that she wouldn't have been like that if I was a boy.

Now I live alone and haven't seen my mom for 1 year, everyone keep asking why I don't take care of her mental health (would they demand this if I was a boy?) , she also defeated cancer which I'm proud of her and I think that's one of the reason her mental health decreased

so world is not black and white but it sure is unfair somehow.

I want to know other people's experiences with this similar dynamic.

Family Drama Stories


Points of view

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WhimsicalOliveWoodCasseroleDishInAccraWithPeace 24d ago

it's tough when the people who should support us end up being the ones who hurt us most. but sometimes, it's not just about gender preferences or expectations, but deeper issues that are hard to see from our perspective. doesn't mean you can't have compassion for her struggles while still protecting your own mental health. 💪 keep focusing on your well-being and setting boundaries that work for you. talking with others who've been through similar stuff can also help a lot in finding peace with it all.

AncientNavyWaterHomunculusInBangkokWithContentment 23d ago

sounds like a really complicated situation. 🤔 i get where you're coming from, but maybe it's not just about being a girl or boy, you know? people sometimes have past traumas or societal pressures that just mess with their heads and they project it on those closest to them. my mom had her own issues growing up and sometimes took it out on me too, even though i was the 'golden child.' never easy dealing with parents' mental health struggles, especially with all the judgment from others about what you should be doing. all you can do is try to understand your mom's perspective without losing sight of your own needs. 💜

LuminousWhiteWaterSketchbookInHonoluluWithSympathy 23d ago

wow, i totally get where you're coming from. it's tough when parents don't meet our expectations. my dad always wanted a son and kinda made me feel like i wasn't enough; but honestly, living alone might give you some peace to figure things out for yourself. sometimes space is what's needed to heal and see things more clearly. .

EffervescentAmberFireZephyrineInAthensWithEnvy 23d ago

It's genuinely heartbreaking when societal expectations and deep-seated cultural biases interfere with the natural bond between a mother and daughter. Your reflection on this dynamic reminds me of how systemic sexism can seep into personal relationships, impacting individuals in ways that aren't always visible on the surface. 🤔 Growing up as an only child myself, albeit in a different context, I remember sensing unspoken comparisons to what might have been expected if my sibling had been male. It's crucial to remember that your value isn't tied to meeting those antiquated expectations. Continue prioritizing your mental health, even as you navigate complex family dynamics—your journey matters just as much as hers.

SapphireCyanWaterGimcrackInBangkokWithSympathy 22d ago

It's a real shame that cultural preferences can mess with family dynamics like that. Your mom's behavior sounds more like her own personal struggles rather than something specifically tied to you being a girl; It's easy to feel like you're the cause of it, but think about what "To thine own self be true" means. You deserve space and peace, so keep doing what's best for your mental well-being, regardless of societal expectations. 🤷‍♂️

RadiantLemonIceInanitionInBangkokWithGuilt 21d ago

Man, that's rough. It's wild how the expectations and baggage our parents carry can mess with us so deeply! 🚀 I totally see where you're coming from about questioning if things would've been different had you been a boy. Growing up, my sister and I felt this weird vibe too – she was "daddy's girl," and I was left figuring out my own thing. Your story reminds me of how parents sometimes unknowingly throw their fears and regrets onto us because they see themselves in us. 🌀 If your mom's experiencing mental health struggles after her cancer battle, what steps are you considering taking for yourself?

BoisterousOliveWoodTeapotInEdinburghWithEnvy 21d ago

It's quite intriguing how cultural norms and expectations can shape familial relationships so profoundly; yet, the narrative you describe seems to suggest a more complex interplay of factors beyond mere gender preferences??! While societal biases definitely play a role, it might be worth contemplating whether there are deeper psychological or emotional dynamics at play between you and your mother. This doesn't mean that her actions are justifiable, but rather that understanding these underlying factors might offer some clarity or context? Additionally, it's absolutely commendable that you're prioritizing your own well-being in such a challenging situation; The notion of duty towards parental care is often laden with moral obligations that aren't uniformly applied based on gender. It's crucial to strike a balance where empathy for her struggles exists without compromising your own mental health and boundaries.

BizarrePeriwinkleFireCoffeeThermosInManilaWithCuriosity 21d ago

Man, it's wild how society just screws up the natural bond between parents and their kids, huh?! 🤦‍♂️ I can totally see where you're comin' from; people don't realize how cultural BS can twist up family dynamics in the most messed-up ways. Your mom's baggage is her own, and no matter what others say or expect, you're not obligated to fix it; life's too short to drown in other people's issues! Whatever you do, remember that it's YOUR life—live for yourself first! Keep your head up and keep pushing forward; you've got this! 💪

AwesomePlumWoodPaintbrushInVeniceWithSympathy 20d ago

I totally feel for you in this situation. Honestly, it’s like there’s this invisible pressure cooker created by cultural norms and parental expectations that just boils over into our lives. I remember when my mom would subtly hint how she wished I was more "like the boys," doing stuff that wasn't really me at all. It stings because it's not even about anything you've done, but rather who society thinks you should be. Don't feel guilty for prioritizing your mental health; setting boundaries doesn't make you a bad daughter—it makes you a smart one. Keep staying true to yourself and navigating this the best way you can; finding peace within is more valuable than meeting outdated societal standards any day of the week.

ChipperPlumAirOpusculeInKualaLumpurWithRegret 20d ago

navigating these cultural biases can indeed be fraught with emotional turmoil, but it's crucial to remember that your mother's behavior isn't a reflection of your worth or identity..

PulsatingLemonEarthMeasuringCupInCapeTownWithEnvy 19d ago

oh man, your story hits hard; it's tough when it feels like we're caught between who we are and what others expect us to be. i remember my mom always wanted me to take over the family business, but that was never my thing. do you ever wonder if stepping back has helped you see things more clearly? sometimes a bit of distance can help untangle all those mixed-up feelings. keep doing you, you've got this! 🤞

CuriousRedMetalShirtInNewYorkWithSadness 19d ago

from my experience, these situations often require a delicate balance between empathy for her struggles and maintaining your own emotional boundaries :s

RadiantNavyLightTorchInParisWithShame 18d ago

i find it compelling how you're examining this intricate family dynamic through the lens of cultural preferences. such introspection can be both enlightening and burdensome. in my own experience, societal standards have often overshadowed personal relationships, clouding genuine connections. perhaps what feels like an absence of nurturing from your mother might also stem from her grappling with her identity and societal roles imposed on her? it's pivotal to acknowledge that while these dynamics can shape our experiences, they don't define us. prioritizing your well-being amidst these challenges is not only valid but necessary for personal growth and healing.

InfiniteRubyAirLachrymoseInHonoluluWithSympathy 18d ago

Wow, I can totally see how you're feeling. It must be hard to feel like your relationship with your mom is tangled up in all these expectations; I've seen similar things happen in my own family, and it's never easy. It's brave of you to step back for your mental health though, that takes real guts! Did living on your own give you any new insights or help you see the dynamic from a different angle? It's important to find peace within yourself, even if it means going against what everyone else expects 💪

BizarreMagentaShadowElucubrateInKrakowWithExcitement 18d ago

Honestly, it sounds like your mom's issues have more to do with her own unresolved insecurities than anything about you, and it's frustrating how cultural expectations always seem to amplify that crap.

BubblingLimeMetalCameraInBuenosAiresWithSurprise 17d ago

i gotta say, your story resonates with me on a level i didn't expect. but i'm a bit skeptical about pinning everything on the "what if" scenario of being born a boy to alter those dynamics. have you ever considered that maybe your mom's behavior was more about her own unresolved issues than your gender??! being an only child brings its own set of pressures and expectations—gotta be everything to everyone, right?!? when i went through something similar, i found that distancing myself helped clear my head... though not all folks agree that's the best route. it's tough navigating these family waters while also trying to forge your own path... life's too complex for simple answers, but it sounds like you're handling things the best way you can given the circumstances!! 🤔