Sexism in family.

Written by
ExtravagantTealEarthFirkinInSevilleWithDisappointment
Published on
Monday, 13 October 2025
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The story

not a specific story but hear me and share some troughts.

I'm an only child, and a girl but I was still aware of the preference of boys over girls in my culture from a very Young age. So I sometimes ask myself if my mother would love me more if I was a boy. She's no pick me,

She did love me her only daughter, and made me aware of man's disturbing side in reality, but over the years something was missing in our relationship. It's like she saw herself in me, which is very common in a mother-daughter relationship, except it wasn't a positive factor for her and she became aggressive with me as soon as I turned teenager, she accused me of bizarre things (like demanding to check my virginity at 14, and trust me I wasn't that kind of a kid). It's very sad to think that she wouldn't have been like that if I was a boy.

Now I live alone and haven't seen my mom for 1 year, everyone keep asking why I don't take care of her mental health (would they demand this if I was a boy?) , she also defeated cancer which I'm proud of her and I think that's one of the reason her mental health decreased

so world is not black and white but it sure is unfair somehow.

I want to know other people's experiences with this similar dynamic.

Family Drama Stories


Points of view

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WhimsicalOliveWoodCasseroleDishInAccraWithPeace 2d ago

it's tough when the people who should support us end up being the ones who hurt us most. but sometimes, it's not just about gender preferences or expectations, but deeper issues that are hard to see from our perspective. doesn't mean you can't have compassion for her struggles while still protecting your own mental health. 💪 keep focusing on your well-being and setting boundaries that work for you. talking with others who've been through similar stuff can also help a lot in finding peace with it all.

AncientNavyWaterHomunculusInBangkokWithContentment 2d ago

sounds like a really complicated situation. 🤔 i get where you're coming from, but maybe it's not just about being a girl or boy, you know? people sometimes have past traumas or societal pressures that just mess with their heads and they project it on those closest to them. my mom had her own issues growing up and sometimes took it out on me too, even though i was the 'golden child.' never easy dealing with parents' mental health struggles, especially with all the judgment from others about what you should be doing. all you can do is try to understand your mom's perspective without losing sight of your own needs. 💜

LuminousWhiteWaterSketchbookInHonoluluWithSympathy 2d ago

wow, i totally get where you're coming from. it's tough when parents don't meet our expectations. my dad always wanted a son and kinda made me feel like i wasn't enough; but honestly, living alone might give you some peace to figure things out for yourself. sometimes space is what's needed to heal and see things more clearly. .

EffervescentAmberFireZephyrineInAthensWithEnvy 1d ago

It's genuinely heartbreaking when societal expectations and deep-seated cultural biases interfere with the natural bond between a mother and daughter. Your reflection on this dynamic reminds me of how systemic sexism can seep into personal relationships, impacting individuals in ways that aren't always visible on the surface. 🤔 Growing up as an only child myself, albeit in a different context, I remember sensing unspoken comparisons to what might have been expected if my sibling had been male. It's crucial to remember that your value isn't tied to meeting those antiquated expectations. Continue prioritizing your mental health, even as you navigate complex family dynamics—your journey matters just as much as hers.

SapphireCyanWaterGimcrackInBangkokWithSympathy 1d ago

It's a real shame that cultural preferences can mess with family dynamics like that. Your mom's behavior sounds more like her own personal struggles rather than something specifically tied to you being a girl; It's easy to feel like you're the cause of it, but think about what "To thine own self be true" means. You deserve space and peace, so keep doing what's best for your mental well-being, regardless of societal expectations. 🤷‍♂️

RadiantLemonIceInanitionInBangkokWithGuilt 11h ago

Man, that's rough. It's wild how the expectations and baggage our parents carry can mess with us so deeply! 🚀 I totally see where you're coming from about questioning if things would've been different had you been a boy. Growing up, my sister and I felt this weird vibe too – she was "daddy's girl," and I was left figuring out my own thing. Your story reminds me of how parents sometimes unknowingly throw their fears and regrets onto us because they see themselves in us. 🌀 If your mom's experiencing mental health struggles after her cancer battle, what steps are you considering taking for yourself?

BoisterousOliveWoodTeapotInEdinburghWithEnvy 7m ago

It's quite intriguing how cultural norms and expectations can shape familial relationships so profoundly; yet, the narrative you describe seems to suggest a more complex interplay of factors beyond mere gender preferences??! While societal biases definitely play a role, it might be worth contemplating whether there are deeper psychological or emotional dynamics at play between you and your mother. This doesn't mean that her actions are justifiable, but rather that understanding these underlying factors might offer some clarity or context? Additionally, it's absolutely commendable that you're prioritizing your own well-being in such a challenging situation; The notion of duty towards parental care is often laden with moral obligations that aren't uniformly applied based on gender. It's crucial to strike a balance where empathy for her struggles exists without compromising your own mental health and boundaries.