I have an elder brother named Michael, who has long struggled with social boundaries due to his learning disabilities. Despite being in his 40s, Michael has rarely left home and never held a job, leading to him having no friends. He has a brusque personality which often takes over family gatherings, where he dominates discussions with his incessant "fun facts," oblivious to whether anyone is interested.

My siblings and I have always had a strained relationship with Michael, primarily because our parents allow him to overshadow any social event he's part of. This behavior was one of the reasons behind my older sister’s decision to elope; my mother persistently tried to carve out a significant role for Michael at her wedding.

Now, as I plan my wedding to my fiancée Mel, the issue of Michael’s involvement has resurfaced. Nick, my youngest brother, will be my best man, while my sister and her husband are also playing major roles in the event. My wife-to-be is adamant about having a traditional wedding, unlike my sister who felt forced to elope.

From the outset, Michael criticized the engagement ring I chose for Mel, bombarding us with unnecessary "fun facts" about how diamonds are overpriced and suggesting I should have opted for a cheaper, second-hand ring instead. His relentless lecture on the history of engagement rings really tested our patience, yet our mother simply chuckled and encouraged him, calling him "the professor."

Mel decided then that Michael could not attend our wedding, insisting that if my parents defended his behavior, they would also be uninvited. She is determined not to let our wedding be overshadowed like my sister’s was.

When discussing wedding plans with my mother, I had to remind her of the shopping incident that pushed my sister to elope: Michael had tagged along and gave a prolonged, unsolicited tutorial on wedding dresses. I made it clear that Michael was not invited and that if my parents wished to attend, they would have to respect our decision.

The conversation did not go well. My father tried to argue that Michael’s chatter was harmless, but I firmly explained that it was the exact reason why people avoid him. Eventually, our discussion hit a deadlock, and I ended the call, uncertain if any of my family would attend.

Since then, my mother has been frantically messaging everyone, trying to paint me as the villain for excluding Michael. Mel and I are in agreement; my brother's presence, and possibly even my parents', would disrupt our special day.

If our family drama were part of a reality show, I can only imagine how the audience might react. Producers might spotlight the situation, presenting it as a classic case of family conflict. Cameras would likely capture every dramatic disagreement, possibly casting me in a harsh light for excluding a family member with disabilities. However, they could also showcase the tensions that arise from managing family relationships in special events, sparking debates on the balance between accommodating relatives and maintaining one's boundaries for their mental peace and happiness.

Should Michael be invited to his brother's wedding?

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