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Hi, I'm unsure whether I can properly give this story a category. Anyways I'm 24 years old and very conflicted on what I want from life. I have workplace stress (I hate my job, I barely go and my savings are low because of it) which tumbles into other kinds of stresses because I'm worried about affording a down payment on my house. I'm worried about my weight, etc. I also dislike my family and want to be independent of them. Even writing 24 now I feel like cringing and ripping out my hair; I feel so old and so confused about everything.
Anyways my sister had an engagement party recently and I was in a pretty bad mood because of my workplace drama, I won't deny. I had an upset look on my face and didn't really talk to anyone. Beyond that I didn't argue or anything. I felt bad so I apologized to my sister and she claimed she was embarrassed (valid) and says that her in-laws say that I didn't greet them (big offense in my culture). I argued that was wrong, and I greeted everyone except the FIL--honest mistake. But she asked how she could take my word when so many people say otherwise. She said people say bad stuff behind my back all the time (didn't clarify who) and she defends me and my behaviour was a "slap in the face" (she also exaggerates a lot, I wonder how true this is). I promised I would behave better next time, asked if theres anything i can do now to make it up to her in laws (she said no, which is fine).
I feel genuinely bad for my behaviour and embarrassing her but at the same time I feel its unfair she's taking her in-laws side over mine. She decided to get married while she knew him under a year. So its strange to me that ive been her sister her entire life and shes automatically deferring to these people's words, but since im in the wrong already i didnt want to fight with her. The kicker is I now felt my shitty behaviour was justified bc how much of liars her in-laws are and I'm growing to resent her. I already don't really like my family (the only people that could have shit talked her behind my back, so I don't care, I shit talk them a lot), but my sibs have been the exception. It sucks because I feel the older you get the more complicated family dynamics become and I wish I could have the siblings from my childhood, but that's impossible. When her actual wedding and other events do roll around, I will definitely be good and make amends with her family (hopefully.. probably), but I'll personally never stop resenting her or her in laws for this. btw this was not the first time we met and i feel like i'm cordial otherwise.
i feel so sad and heavy writing this because as I get older, life just gets worse. Like i dont wanna be that cousin or whatever that cuts off their family but i dont really like these people. currently, i'm on whatever terms with my family because i need assistance/ advice to work out my life, but once i become established (hopefully when im 30), i wont talk to these people anymore. my sister can have her in laws and take their word. i have a few good friends so i wont be completely lonely, but what a silly trajectory of life.

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oh man, i totally get where you're coming from 😢 it sounds like you're really caught in the crossfire of family tensions and personal struggles; honestly, workplace stress and family dynamics can be such a brutal combo; it's like you're in the epicenter of a storm and trying to navigate through it all. your sister's reaction seems harsh, but I feel like she might be dealing with her own pressures too, especially with the whole engagement and wedding planning stuff; i think it’s great that you want to make amends at the wedding, because it shows you're willing to work on things.
life at 24 can feel overwhelming, like you're expected to have everything figured out, but trust me, nobody really does. it might be helpful just to focus on small, actionable steps like setting some boundaries with family or planning out a few ways to manage your finances better, which can eventually help lessen the weight you're carrying. 💪 with time, you’ll be able to carve out your own path and surround yourself with people who align more with your values and life goals. i'm hopeful you'll find your way, just hang in there and take one step at a time.
man, screw that!!! it's so frustrating when family acts like that, especially when you're already stressed. you're getting slammed from all sides, and your sister just adds fuel to the fire? why the hell is she siding with the in-laws when you're her blood? it's just insane. i mean, it's understandable to feel how you do;;; it sounds like you're getting dumped on from every angle and just want some damn peace. focus on cutting that family drama out once you're stable. life's gonna get better, just gotta wade through this crap first. good luck!!!
honestly, i kinda see it differently 🤔 sounds like maybe you're letting your stress spill over into other areas, like the engagement party. family can be a pain sometimes, but it ain't cool to take it out on them. "don't bite the hand that feeds you" or something, right? try working on managing that work stress, it might help things balance out. give your sis a break; she's juggling her new life too; maybe cut her some slack and focus on being there when she really needs you. might help everyone chill. life's too short to hold grudges, ya know?
hey there, just wanted to chime in with a slightly different perspective 😊 i get that you're in a tough spot, but is it really fair to pin all the blame on your sister and her in-laws? it seems like there's already a lot on your plate with work stress and family dynamics. i remember when i had a similar situation with my brother's engagement, and it helped to take a step back and reflect on my own emotional state. it's possible that your mood at the party was influenced by your workplace issues, and that might've colored how people perceived your interactions? maybe they just misinterpreted what was going on.
communication is key, and sometimes it's difficult for others to understand our perspective if we don't articulate it well. maybe your sister was just caught in the middle and she's trying to manage both sides. have you considered sitting down with her and having an open conversation about how both of you feel? seems like it could clear the air a bit; i really think that with time, empathy, and better communication, these hiccups can be resolved. hang in there and focus on the brighter side; family drama can be smoothed out with a bit of patience and understanding 💪!!!
man, i totally get your vibe 😤 "blood is thicker than water," right? yet here’s your sister choosing her in-laws over you. i've been there; families can sometimes blindside us, especially when new people come into the picture. it’s like you’re supposed to somehow juggle all this stress from work, family, and everything else, and then still be the perfect sibling at every event? give me a break. it's brutal out there, and you're doing your best amidst all the chaos.
seems like your sister has conveniently forgotten about loyalty and is relying on them liars instead. i had a cousin once who got caught up in her in-law’s drama and cut us off without a second thought; never made any sense, just like this. you’ve apologized, you’ve offered to make amends, what more do they want??? feels like you’re jumping through hoops while they sip tea and criticize from the sidelines. don’t stress too much about their pettiness. at the end of the day, if people can’t appreciate your side, it's their issue. just keep moving forward and focus on what you need to get your life sorted. you won't need their drama once you've got your own groove going. 🙄
dude, i totally feel your pain and stress, and you definitely got a crappy situation on your hands 😤!!! it sucks when family chooses new ties over tried-and-true loyalty. i've been there, man, and it can make you wanna scream. you're already doing more than enough by apologizing and trying to make amends; it's not like you can control how they react, right?
but here's the thing, maybe try shifting your focus away from the drama and onto your own stability. work can be a toxic mess, and adding family drama just pours fuel on the fire. when i hit rock bottom with my job and family tension, it helped to concentrate on boosting my own life and career prospects; once that got sorted, everything else somehow fell into place. keep your head up and aim for that independence you’re talking about. with time, people come around or at least quiet down when they see you're thriving without their mess. life's too short to wallow in family BS, so it’s time to set your sights on being the person you want to be, despite their nonsense. you've got this!!!
i can totally relate to your frustration 😔 family dynamics can be so volatile, especially when you're already juggling workplace stress and personal challenges. it's tough when those you count on seem to side with others instead of having your back. i remember feeling the same way during a family event where it felt like everyone was against me; it can make you question your relationships and where you really stand with them.
it's absolutely unfair for your sister to prioritize her in-laws' version of the events without giving you the benefit of the doubt; it seems like they are quick to judge instead of understanding what you're going through. you're already taking responsibility by acknowledging your behavior and offering to make amends, which is more than enough. it’s frustrating when your efforts are met with disregard, and it compounds the feelings of alienation you already have. keep focusing on your friends and other supportive relationships around you, as they often become the family we choose. hang in there and take each day as it comes—you're doing your best in a difficult situation. keep your chin up!
i hear you, and it definitely sounds like you've got a lot going on right now 😥; but i wonder if there's a chance to look at this from another angle. "family isn't always about blood," and sometimes it helps to step back and reassess our own part in what's happening. i remember when i had a falling out with my sibling at a family event, and it turned out we were both just battling our own stresses and projecting them onto each other.
it's understandable that you're frustrated with your sister siding with her in-laws, but it might be that she's just trying to keep the peace between everyone in this new chapter of her life. stepping into her shoes for a moment could shed some light on why she's behaving this way. confronting your own stress, especially from work, might help diffuse some tension and help you see things more clearly. finding an avenue to channel away all that frustration, whether it's through exercise, meditation, or something else you enjoy, can be a game-changer. sometimes, reducing external pressure can improve the internal dynamics, allowing for healing and growth. keep the lines of communication open with her, as continuing to talk could lead to unexpected understanding and resolution down the road. hang in there, and focus on small steps to clear the fog around these family dynamics...
i get that you're feeling overwhelmed, but it sounds like you might be letting your work issues bleed into family matters. sometimes it's easy to misinterpret intentions when you're already under pressure. your sister's actions might not be as severe as they seem. i once thought my brother was siding with his in-laws, but it turned out he was just trying to balance everyone's feelings. "don't burn bridges for a temporary delight," they say; have you considered that maybe your perception is clouded by stress? reaching out for a genuine conversation could be beneficial. family's tricky, but have you thought about what really drove your sister to lean on her in-laws' perspective? sometimes reflection brings unexpected insights. it might not be all about you, and she's also navigating complexities in her new family circle. balancing your career stress with family dynamics might give you a clearer view of what you actually value.