Why is my mom yelling at me?

I am 17 and I really do not get why my mom is always yelling at me, like seriously what is even happening here. I try so hard to be a good daughter, not in some fake way either, I mean for real. I clean the kitchen without being asked most days, I wash dishes, I fold clothes even when they are not mine, I help with groceries, I keep my room pretty clean, I do my homework on time, I study a lot, and my grades are very good, like I am not out here failing classes or sneaking around or doing wild stuff. I am polite too, maybe too polite, because even when she is already mad I still say okay mom and sorry mom and I keep my voice low because I do not want more drama. But still she yells. She yells if I am doing something, and she yells if I am not doing something, and sometimes I swear she yells before I even understand what she wants. Yesterday I was literally wiping the table after dinner and she came in and said I never help in this house, and I just stood there with the rag in my hand feeling so dumb and small. Like what was I supposed to say, do you see me or not. One time I got a 95 on a test and I was actually happy, like wow maybe she will be proud for once, and all she said was why not 100, and then later she got mad because I was studying in my room and not downstairs where she could “see me doing something.” How am I meant to win that. I am asking for real, what do people even do when no answer is the right answer. Do you ever feel like someone already decided you are a problem and now everything you do looks wrong to them. Because that is how it feels in my house almost every day. I wake up tense already, listening to her footsteps, trying to guess what mood it is gonna be. If I say good morning and she sounds annoyed, my whole chest just drops. If I stay quiet, then I am “cold” or “have an attitude.” If I ask if she needs help, she says I should already know. If I start helping on my own, she says I am doing it the wrong way. I am not saying I am perfect because duh I am 17 and I forget stuff sometimes, I leave a glass in my room sometimes, I get tired, I get moody, normal stuff, but the way she reacts is like I ruined everything and I do not think that is fair. It makes me doubt myself a lot, like maybe I am secretly awful and just cannot see it, but then I look at what I actually do all day and I am like no, this is too much, this cannot all be my fault.

What really gets me is that I keep trying harder and it changes nothing, which is such a miserable feeling. A few weeks ago I made sure the living room was all neat, I finished a school project early, I even made tea for her because she looked stressed, and later that night she started yelling because I forgot to move one bag from the hallway. One bag. Like that was enough to erase everything else. I said sorry right away and moved it, but she kept going on and on about how I make life harder for her, and I just wanted to cry because I honestly do not know how much more careful a person can be before they stop being a person and just turn into some nervous robot. Sometimes I think maybe she is stressed and taking it out on me, and I try to be understanding because life is hard and money is tight and adults have problems they do not talk about, so I do try to be reasonable. I am not sitting here acting like moms are not human. But at the same time, why am I the one getting hit with all the shouting when I am the one helping. Why am I the easy target just because I am there and quiet and trying. Last month I had this long school day and I came home tired but still started dinner stuff because she was late, and when she got home she yelled that the onions were cut too thick. I am not joking. Too thick. I just said okay, I can cut them smaller next time, and then she got even more mad like my calm voice annoyed her too. That happens a lot actually. It is like if I defend myself, I am disrespectful, but if I stay calm, I am “acting smart.” So tell me, what is left. Am I supposed to disappear. I love my mom, which makes this worse because I do not want to hate being around her, but lately I hear her call my name and my stomach drops right away. I keep wondering if one day she will notice I am trying, or if she already knows and just does not care because yelling is easier. Maybe she thinks it makes me better somehow, but it does not, it just makes me tired and weirdly empty. I still do my chores, still get my grades, still try to be nice, because that is just who I am and I do not want to become rude or lazy from being treated unfair. But honestly I am starting to feel dumb for hoping every day will be different. Maybe tomorrow she will be normal, maybe tomorrow she will not snap because I closed a cabinet too loud or folded towels “wrong” or sat down for five minutes after school. Maybe. But then tomorrow comes and it is the same thing again, and I sit there thinking, why is my mom yelling at me, and I never get a real answer.

Stories in the same category