I moved to Europe four years ago for my graduate studies and met Tom, who is now my fiancé. Though he’s a native speaker and I'm still learning the local language, we've been inseparable. After two years of dating, we got engaged and recently moved into an apartment together. I'm still a student with a part-time job, and Tom just started working, which makes finances a bit tight. I've even had to dip into my savings to help cover his past rental debts to prevent his eviction.

Financially, we've found it hard to manage the costs of setting up our new home. Recently, a friend who works in property management advised us of a looming deadline. If Tom doesn’t formally close out his previous rental contract by August 3rd, we could face severe legal issues lasting into 2024 and lose our 1,500€ deposit. When I brought it up, Tom dismissed it, claiming he’d settled everything over email and couldn’t get a hold of the agency.

On the way home from visiting his grandparents, I mentioned it again to ensure it was really taken care of. He snapped at me, said I was meddling in affairs that didn’t concern me. I tried showing him the information I had on my phone and he just got louder, eventually yelling at me to stop talking about it. He told me I was spoiling the day and accused me of talking about things I didn't understand. Hurt, I confronted him about how he was treating me in public and walked away.

Considering how these tense moments unfolded, imagining this scenario playing out on a reality show throws an interesting light on it. The audience might be split. Some could see me as the caring partner trying to preempt a crisis, while others might view Tom’s reaction as stress-induced due to pressure. The public’s reaction might vary from empathic support to critiquing my insistence on discussing the matter then and there.

Am I wrong for insisting on discussing significant issues that impact both our futures?

Should I have insisted we talk about the rental issue?

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