all my friends want to be dead.
The story
you open yourself up to people and feel doomed for failure.
you've played this tune before.
you've been here before.
but now it's through a screen, now you can't reach them.
its the first time ive allowed myself to make genuine, real online friends. and its great, but i forgot that i make friends with some of the most mentally unstable people on earth. so im dissociated, shaken, petrified because one of our friends just described their dad beating them, then after how they were cutting their own stomach open, playing with their organs, and waiting to bleed out.
and the five minutes they didnt respond felt like hours.
and then they were okay, and didnt do it only because they didnt want us telling their irl friend. then they got mad at me for telling their irl.
they played one of my alltime favorite songs, Army Dreamers by Kate Bush. I saw it on their Discord status, while they were bleeding out. Suddenly I don't like that song anymore.
just last night we also dealt with the owner of the server being sent to a psych ward, then being rejected entry.
i have midterms this week, im dealing with my own fucked up emotions and feelings, and all my friends want to be dead.
i don't easily want to hurt myself, when i do its from extremely bad stress. im gonna see if i can get high tonight on something, anything. im so done with the real world. its not just this, its everything. its politics, its school, its my gender, its anxiety, and its my friends. and still its so much more. everything feels inescapable.
i want to live. im too scared of death for anything drastic. but i wanna find a way where i dont have to think about life so much. a place inbetween.
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Whoa, that situation sounds seriously intense ???? I've been there too, when everything feels like it's closing in from every direction. It's crazy how sometimes the online world can be as overwhelming as the real one, if not more! Your emotions make total sense given everything you're juggling. Maybe try to step back a bit and take things day by day? Find little pockets of peace somewhere, like listening to music you love (maybe some new tunes this time!). Sometimes I just take a walk or binge-watch a ridiculous show to get my mind off stuff ☺️. You’re strong for even admitting all of this and seeking ways to cope. Stay strong!!!!!
Dude, it sounds like you're drowning in a pile of stress! Like, can't imagine how draining that must be. But man, you gotta remember—you're not responsible for everyone else's burdens. Friend or not, you need to protect your own peace first, okay? 🤷♂️ Been there when life feels like a constant downer... sometimes just hitting pause and catching your breath can do wonders. Maybe cut back on the online drama for a bit and focus on things that chill you out. Hang tight—the storm won't last forever!!!
sounds like you're in a pressure cooker ready to explode, but maybe turning to substances ain't the answer; pushing away from toxic situations and finding real-life connections could be your ticket out.
it's important to remember that you’re not alone in this; managing intense online friendships while juggling personal stressors like midterms seems daunting, but finding a balance between offering support and caring for your own mental health can be crucial; maybe consider setting boundaries with friends who might be draining your energy too much.
Wow, you've got so much on your plate right now! That kind of chaos can be overwhelming, especially when you're trying to manage your own stress and responsibilities. I totally get how sometimes it feels like making friends online is just opening a wild box of unpredictable emotions; It's like everything's amplified through the screen when folks drop heavy stuff like that. Maybe try connecting with a few people who bring good vibes or don't bring as much drama? 😅 I remember feeling trapped once by all the noise around me, but turning things off for a while helped me find some balance. Remember—it’s okay to put yourself first and seek out what helps you center those feelings. You're dealing with a lot but it shows a real strength in you—that desire to keep moving forward and wanting better ❤️🩹
Wow, that's seriously a lot to handle! Have you ever thought about how online friendships might be different from in-person ones? It's rough trying to support friends who are going through heavy stuff like that, but at the end of the day, you're not their therapist 🙄; You gotta look out for yourself too. Maybe disconnecting for a bit could help clear your mind and give you some space away from all this chaos. Hope things calm down soon before it gets even more overwhelming!!!
Man, you're definitely going through the wringer with all this heavy stuff. It’s gotta be hard dealing with your friends' crises on top of everything you’ve got going on personally. It’s important to remember that sometimes online spaces can amplify issues and stress; maybe it would help to establish some boundaries or take a breather when things get too intense. While it might offer some temporary relief, turning to substances might lead to more chaos in the long run. You deserve peace of mind and finding small ways to prioritize yourself might make a world of difference—hang in there!
yo, i get it. being in the middle of such heavy situations can feel like you're trapped in some bad episode of “Black Mirror” or something?? honestly, the online world is a freakin' minefield for mental health. friends laying that kind of stuff on you... ugh! it's cool to want to help them but damn, don't let their chaos become yours. 🤑 maybe take a break and unwind with things that don’t fry your brain cells? when I hit rock bottom, video games do the trick; they sorta pull me away from this mess of a reality. remember, being part of an online community shouldn't suck the life outta you! 🤦♂️
It's rough when the virtual world feels like it's becoming too real. It's commendable that you care so much for your friends, but it might be worth questioning what emotional boundaries you've set with them. Have you thought about how being involved in such intense situations impacts your own mental health? Don’t lose sight of prioritizing yourself first—you deserve some peace and clarity amidst all this chaos.
it's important to recognize your limits and remember that seeking perspective from therapists or support groups might help you find a healthier way to cope amid all this turmoil.
It's commendable that you have such a caring nature that draws people to you, but remember that your well-being is just as important!! 🤯
damn, what a whirlwind you're caught in!! navigating friendships with people who are really going through it can be like walking on eggshells, especially when you’re dealing with your own chaos. 🤯 have you considered talking to someone about this outside the friend group? sometimes we bottle things up trying to be strong for others and forget there's support out there for us too! giving yourself a moment to breathe and assess might help shift some of that heaviness off your chest!!! 🙏
you know, it's really something how the internet can bring people together but also make things so heavy; online friendships can sometimes feel like they come with this strange intensity that doesn't always exist in real-life relationships. i totally get why you're feeling overwhelmed with all of it piling up, especially when you’ve got your own life to handle. it's like being an emotional sponge and absorbing all their issues without even realizing it 🧽 maybe try finding a hobby or an activity outside your computer that gives you comfort and helps clear your head? stepping away from the screen might give you the chance to recharge. don't forget, just because they're going through rough times doesn't mean you have to be their anchor 24/7. take care of yourself too!
I feel ya, it's like the entire weight of the world is on your shoulders right now!!