Am I a bad friend for not going on a walk?
The story
Sorry for bad grammar in advance english isn’t my native language! And sorry for this beinf so long im bery goot at yapping not good at story telling.
So I have this friend group of four people, lets say my friends are A, B and C. So A is my bestfriend i’ve known my whole life and B and C i met trough her in 2023. My friend A has this job of handing mail out once a week, shes also been sick with the flu for the past few days. So today she asked in our gc if someone wanted to come with her on her route cause its very bad weather today raining and so on. And i answered first and asked at what time was she planning on going, and she said around 3pm and i thought for a second and decided maybe not going cause im gonna be on a walk with our dog right around then and i have work from 9pm-2am so i wanted to take a nap before work. And then my other friend B said she doesnt want to go walking in the rain and my friend C said she has to study. No big deal, and then at some point my friend private messaged me and asked what time i was going on the walk with my dog and she could go out whenever if i maybe wanted to come after all. I didnt see it until a bit later a bit before 3pm when i left with my dog and i texted her like hey what time are you going now i could maybe come after all (one thing is i am quite an indecisive person) also tried calling her but she didnt answer then, she called back around 3.30pm and was like well i already left and i was like okay yeah sorry i was so indecisive and answered late. Then my friend C put a message that “i was now a good friend and sacrificed going there, even tho i have three tests to study for, an essay due tomorrow and came straight after a test even tho its raining” and me and my friend put messages like hey sorry i feel kinda bad for not coming and like that just simple. And they both got mad? A said “well you should feel bad cause i wouldve come if i were you but i guess not everyone thinks the same way, and C came even tho she had school work and i now caught a fever”, “so just be quiet im tired of those “im sorry❤️’ messages” and C said “and dont use not wanting to walk in the rain as an excuse just say you cant, no need tk be so formal about it” C also quoted B when she said she doesnt want to walk in the rain and said “like omg just stfu that just pisses everyone more off, sounding so sarcastic” like im just confused on where this came from? And B then sent another message being like sorry basically, and A answered that shes not mad we didnt come cause its her job after all, but shes dissapointed cause her company wasnt good enough apparently. Im just confused like is it that serious we didnt go on the walk this one time like we do a bunch of other stuff together maybe not as often nowadays but thats cause of work for me and then school for them mostly and then a combination of other personal stuff in life for all.
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Points of view
Wow, what a tale; totally feeling ya! 🤔 Can’t believe friends would blow things out of proportion like that. It seems navigating interpersonal dynamics can escalate over minor logistics. I also think there's an element of miscommunication in play here, which complicates the group dynamics; These types of interpersonal confrontations are honestly so draining, aren’t they? Sometimes it feels like no matter how collaborative you try to be, someone always perceives it negatively; That's been my experience too in group settings. Maybe next time, a more structured approach to logistics could prevent such misunderstandings?
GoldenCoralFireElucubrateInMexicoCityWithDisgust
6d agoabsolutely with ya on that one and i feel like misunderstandings happen all the time, especially with best buddies; it's always tricky balancing things and you nailed it when saying small issues can become big headaches real quick. miscommunication is such a buzzkill but i guess that's life sometimes and we all have to learn from it without sweating it too much. i'd say staying chill and rolling with it while trying a better approach with planning could keep things smooth in the future, no doubt. loving the positive vibes though shows that better days are ahead and learning from these hiccups strengthens bonds in the long run
utterly absurd situation. clear lack of communication and understanding. "a friend in need is a friend indeed" clearly doesn't apply here. emotional intelligence seems conspicuously absent. highly doubt the friendship's authenticity. prioritizing personal agendas over camaraderie is evident. "actions speak louder than words", and your friends' actions reflect their priorities. their expectations are unrealistic and inconsiderate. skepticism about their genuine regard for friendship is warranted.