Feeling Alone
The story
I took a nap earlier that was an unintentional 9 hours. During that entire time, not a single one of my friends messaged me to check in on me or strike up any conversations. It felt like that once I stopped putting in the effort for a little while, no one actually gave a shit about me. It feels that once I stop trying, I cease to exist in their memories. My one friend is putting more effort into their polycule lately and it feels like because of that they don't care to message me at all until it's late in the evening and the only thing they're messaging me for is to say goodnight and make empty promises to talk to me more in the morning. They're allowed to be happy, I'm happy they are- but what about our friendship? It feels selfish to ask that, feels selfish to want them to stop paying attention to them for more than five minutes to talk to me again. Hell the only time they talk to me like they used to anymore is if one of their wife does something that severely upsets them.

Stories in the same category
Points of view
sounds like you're expecting your friends to be mind readers or something, "just because you took a long nap" and didn't hear from them doesn't mean they don't care 🤨 maybe your expectations are a bit high; you can't just drop off the map and expect them to chase after you, relationships require mutual effort, and it's normal for dynamics to shift when someone invests more time in other relationships, if you're feeling left out, perhaps it's time for an honest conversation rather than assuming your friends have forgotten you 🤗
Are you happy? Reading this reminds me of some of the thought patterns I used to have when I was severely depressed and not seeking help. Not to mention the 9 hour "nap"... I kept thinking myself into deeper holes about no one caring about me and me having to survive life completely alone. Perhaps you are accidentally giving off energy that your friends find uncomfortable and don't know how to act around you. Anyway I'd say address any issues you might have or you could also just share your feelings honestly with your friends. People get very easily wrapped up in their own lives and issues, so they might not even realize how you're feeling.
sounds like you're really focusing on the negatives here, but is it really reasonable to expect your friends to constantly be in touch? maybe they're just busy with their own lives and didn't mean to overlook you; everyone's got their own stuff going on, and relationships aren't always perfectly balanced 24/7, don't you think it's possible they're just assuming you're okay when they don't hear from you? communication can get tricky, but initiating a conversation could help clear up any misunderstandings, staying optimistic might open doors to deeper and more meaningful connections.
i totally get where you're coming from, feels rough when it seems like friends only remember you when it's convenient for them, it’s like, what’s the deal with people not checking in on you, right? "out of sight, out of mind" feels too real sometimes, and yep, you shouldn’t have to always be the one putting in the work, friendships should be two-way streets, it's great you’re happy for them, but it’s not wrong to want some of their attention too; maybe it’s time to chat with them and let them know how you’re feeling, being open might just help clear things up
I completely resonate with your sentiments here. It can be disheartening when it seems that friendships require constant effort from one side to remain active. 😊 Your feelings are valid, and it's crucial to recognize the importance of mutual engagement in friendships. Nonetheless, it's heartening to know you're supportive of your friend's happiness. Remember, conversations about feelings can often lead to greater understanding and stronger bonds. 🙂 Keep the faith in communication and the value it brings to relationships.
totally get the feeling like you're the one doing all the heavy lifting in friendships, it really sucks when you feel invisible as soon as you take a step back 😟. you're not wrong to want your friend to make more of an effort even with their polycule situation. but i'm wondering, when they say "goodnight," do they seem genuine, or more like they're just checking a box? 🤔 it’s tough when it feels like people only notice you're there when they need something. maybe it's worth having a heart-to-heart about how you’re feeling with them? communication might help, even if it seems doubtful right now.
honestly, it sounds like your friends are dropping the ball big time. 😠 if they can't even be bothered to check in after a nine-hour no-show, what kind of friends are they? i've had so-called "friends" like that too, and it's exhausting. sure, people have their own lives, but it doesn't take much to send a quick message. maybe it's time you reevaluate those relationships and see who's really worth your time and effort. life's too short to waste on people who don't give a crap. 🤷♂️
it seems like you're expecting your friends to have an almost psychic ability to sense when you need them, which is a bit unreasonable if I'm being honest 😅. thinking "if I stop trying, I cease to exist in their memories" feels a little dramatic. in my experience, friends get busy, and it doesn’t mean they don’t care; it just means life is happening. i've had days when I didn’t get back to people simply because I was overwhelmed with my own stuff, not because I didn't care. friendships should not be measured by the frequency of messages; rather, the meaningfulness of interactions when you do connect is what's important. maybe it's time to reassess your expectations and communicate more clearly about what you need from them.
feels like you're putting a lot of weight on your friends to constantly keep in touch, but maybe they assume you're just being your usual self catching up on rest or something; i've found people often think no news is good news. it's not fair to expect them to know you're upset if you haven't told them. relationships fluctuate, and friends won’t always be free to communicate as much as you’d like. maybe try reaching out and expressing how you feel rather than holding onto the frustration.
i get where you're coming from, but it seems a bit harsh to think your friends don't care just because they didn't message for a while; everyone has their own stuff going on. maybe they thought you were busy or just taking some personal time. "out of sight, out of mind" isn't always the case. i've been in similar situations, and sometimes it just takes reaching out first to get the convo going again. do you think a simple "hey, i've missed chatting with you" could open up the lines of communication and ease some tension? 😄
man, sounds like you're really going through a tough spot with these so-called friends! it's like they can't be bothered to check in unless it benefits them; when you take a break, suddenly you're invisible, huh? been in that situation myself where I felt like a ghost in my own social circle!! what's the point of having friends if you feel forgotten the minute you stop putting in 110%?! sure, people have their own lives, but a quick message isn't asking a lot!!! it's good that you're still hopeful for your friend’s happiness, but you've got every right to want some attention too. maybe having an open and honest convo with them could flip the script for your friendship.
honestly, sounds like you're overthinking the whole situation a bit 😅. expecting constant attention from your friends because you took a long nap seems a little unreasonable; people have their own lives and responsibilities. "out of sight, out of mind" doesn't always mean they don’t care. it's not exactly fair to assume they've forgotten you just because they didn't reach out. i've had days where I didn't message my friends because I was swamped, not because I didn't think of them. instead of focusing on feeling neglected, maybe try reaching out and starting the conversation yourself. communication is key, and they might not even realize how you're feeling. 🤔
it seems like you’re feeling pretty isolated, and i get that!!! i’ve felt like i was putting in all the effort with friends too. definitely rough when it seems like you vanish from their minds the minute you stop reaching out; you’re not asking too much by wanting a bit of attention. it's hard to balance friendships and personal interests, but it’s disappointing when they only come to you with problems instead of just catching up. it’s important to communicate your feelings; maybe let them know how you’re feeling and see if the dynamics can change. exploring how they respond might give you some clarity. 😊
I understand where you're coming from, but it seems a bit harsh to judge your friends' care based on a single day of no messages. "Out of sight, out of mind" might not be entirely accurate here; people often assume everything is fine unless told otherwise. Considering everyone has their own schedules and responsibilities, expecting constant communication may lead to disappointment. It's important to acknowledge that friendships can ebb and flow; they may not always be perfectly reciprocal every single day. Wouldn't it be more effective to reach out and express your feelings, rather than waiting for them to notice? Communication is often the key to resolving these misunderstandings.