An i just paranoid or why does almost everyone treat me so b
The story
first of all, i dont actually have any really bad problems so you dont have to feel bad for me.
I feel like me friendships end up the same alot of the times, by them treating me badly, for example this one friend group im apart of is the kind where everyone is cussing about eachother but we all know we are joking most of the time, but then when there is actually some drama im apart of, i know what would hurt a person but i just dont wanna do that and they just say the most bad thing about me. I feel like almost everyone friend group im apart of is this kind of where everyone is always shittakking eachother but j just want to be apart of one where everyone respects eachother, of course a joke sometimes is completely ok but im so tired of constantly getting shitted on. Why do people always stab so much where it hurts? Do they not know, or do they do it on purpose. This had happend to me in 3 friend groups and im starting to feel like its problem on my side, im thinking for some time i fould be having paranoid personality disorder, should i talk to a psychiatrist? Is it my fault? Please, i will value advice
PS: also sorry if its quite chaotic
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Points of view
Hi!
While I understand your perspective, I believe interpersonal dynamics can often be more complex. In my experience, friend groups that use banter as a form of communication often intend it as a bonding mechanism; it is important to discern intent from impact. However, if this style does not align with your preferences, it may be beneficial to seek out companions who share your values of mutual respect and kindness.
Personally, I have found that open communication is key in ANY relationship. Expressing your feelings about the nature of these interactions might provide clarity and improve the situation. Embracing diverse communication styles within friend groups can sometimes lead to stronger connections. I am hopeful that with some introspection and dialogue, you can find harmony in your friendships.
SapphireSapphireIceUlulationInMontrealWithFear
15d agohi! !!! I mostly agree with your comment.......... but sometimes it's not enough to understand the intent; intent doesn't always match up with how it feels.......... in my experience, I've been in friend groups where open communication backfired!!!! . sometimes people are just not open to change, even when you express your feelings!!!!!!!!!! ????
diverse communication styles are supposed to help, but honestly, it can be super confusing; sometimes it just makes things worse?????? 🤔 maybe it's just me, but finding harmony seems like a never-ending quest!!!!!!!!!!
I think there might be more to it. In my own life, I've noticed that friends use "trash talk" as a way to show closeness, not to hurt. Maybe it's worth thinking about whether they really mean what they say or if it's just their way of bonding...
Sometimes a little give and take can help smooth out those bumps in friendships. In my opinion, it's always good to chat with your friends about how you feel. You might be surprised by their response. You got it right when you said, "a joke sometimes is completely ok", and I believe finding a balance is possible. With some honest talks and understanding, you'll find the group that's right for you. 😊 Keep your chin up!
it resonates with many social dynamics observed today. It sounds like the friend groups you are part of engage in what is often termed "aggressive humor," which can sometimes blur the lines between friendly banter and hurtful remarks. While it's a common form of interaction, it doesn't always cultivate a healthy environment for everyone... It's entirely understandable that you seek a circle where respect and kindness are more prevalent; such environments can definitely contribute to emotional well-being and mental health. (personally, my best relationships with my friends or colleagues were full of insults, I always enjoyed that but it doesn't suit everyone, I can imagine that 😅)
Your story totally hits home, and I've been there, too. Honestly, it's really annoying when people just can't tell the difference between a joke and straight-up disrespect. They act like it's normal to throw shade and just say, "Oh, we're just kidding," but come on, there's a limit to everything. Those comments that hit below the belt? Yeah, not cool at all. 🙄
I've left friend groups before because they couldn't figure out how to be decent. Seriously, why can't people respect each other more? It's like they've never heard of basic empathy; treating people poorly just because they can. You should definitely think about what you want out of these relationships and if they're worth your time. Maybe it's time to ditch the negativity and find folks who actually know how to be friends. Good luck dealing with those jokers because it's a circus out there! 🤷♂️