I miss my best friend
The story
I had a best friend but I drifted apart from her. We were friends for over 17 years, basically since we both joined school. But as the years went by I started to feel a bit uncomfortable by her behaviors and actions as she never used to share important stuffs about herself with me but others would know ( such as I was the only one in our friend group who did not know that she was going abroad for her higher studies ). Not only that, sometimes she used to tell me that I can't / shouldn't talk to her for a month because our exams were coming up but she used to talk to everyone else. These kinds of things made me doubt about our friendship but then sometimes she used to show signs that she cared about me such as once she showed me letter that I gave her in grade 7 and told me that she still keeps it with her all the time. After she went away I tried communicating with her but she never reciprocated the same energy. So I stopped trying, for which we drifted apart. When she came over for summer vacation this year she asked my other friends regarding me but never directly asked me. Despite all of these stuffs, I still miss her dearly, I sometimes wonder if it's completely my fault or not that our friendship broke. I wish I could fix it but I don't know how to as it has already been over a year since we stopped talking.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
hey, I totally get what you're saying and it makes complete sense 🤔 it's rough when someone close doesn't communicate openly. that's a classic case of "information asymmetry" where one party holds more info than the other, leading to feelings of exclusion. not cool at all.
the way she kept you out of the loop about major life events raises some red flags too. it's like she didn't consider the "reciprocity norm" of friendship, which is all about mutual exchange and support. you had every right to feel doubtful about the friendship; honest communication is key, and she seemed to lack that big time.
i've seen this happen in friendships before, and it usually ends up with someone feeling left out. the mixed signals with her keeping your letter but not reaching out directly are confusing. maybe she has her reasons, but it doesn't really justify the lack of transparency.
truth is, if she wanted to maintain the connection, she could have made an effort. hope you find clarity and peace with this situation 😊
let's get straight to the point: your friend's behavior was downright inconsiderate. 😒 the concept of "reciprocal communication" seems to have been foreign to her. excluding you from important news while informing others is simply unacceptable.
yes, people can be busy, but telling you to back off during exams while chatting with others is shady. sounds like she was picking and choosing when it was convenient for her to engage with you, which is not what a true friend does.
i had a similar experience where someone close shut me out like that. ultimately, it was a clear sign to cut ties and move on. the fact that she asked about you through other friends instead of reaching out directly shows a lack of intent to mend the relationship.
it's normal to miss someone after years of friendship, but holding onto a relationship that lacks basic respect is pointless. focus on building connections with people who value and reciprocate your energy. you'll be better off in the long run. 😊
That’s too bad. I don’t tell a lot of people things but the fact that she told these things to other people means that she was being inconsiderate. I had a friend start to ignore me once but we were only friends for about a year so it wasn’t that bad.
I hope you are doing good! 😊 I’ve heard people say that it gets worse before it gets better!